Category Archives: Insanity

The ‘can you resist her’ Caption Contest

This is the 172nd world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic (h/t DCG):

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box), not via email or on Facebook.
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM! :D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, March 27, 2018.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

Hillary Clinton voters are as demented as she is

Hillary Clinton and her doppelganger

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.



NJ high school students suspended for sharing pictures of weapons at shooting range on social media

not how it works

These suspensions would never be upheld in a court of law. Sue the heck out of the school district if they don’t rescind these suspensions.

From A New Jersey school district that allegedly suspended two high school students this week over a gun photo taken during a family visit to a private shooting range is facing community backlash and the threat of a lawsuit over district policies.

The photo of four rifles, ammunition clips and a gun duffel bag was shared by one of the students on the social media app Snapchat with the caption “fun day at the range,” according to Lacey Township resident Amanda Buron, a family friend of one of the students.

A screen capture of the image made the rounds among other students and later brought to the attention of Lacey Township High School officials. Buron said the students received a five-day in-school suspension for violating the school’s policy on weapons possession.

News of the suspension soon circulated on social media groups for Lacey and quickly drew hundreds of responses harshly criticizing the district’s action and its policy on weapons, which many called overly broad.

Lacey schools Superintendent Craig Wigley said in an email to NJ Advance Media on Thursday that “information posted on social media is incorrect” and that private matters involving students cannot be discussed. He declined to say what aspect of the accounts posted on social media is inaccurate.

“We are not at will to contradict public opinion on the internet,” Wigley wrote. He declined to be interviewed by phone.

Many have called for a huge turnout at the school board’s next scheduled meeting on Monday at the high school to protest the decision. A few people noted that the image was ill-timed after the school shooting in Parkland, Florida that killed 17.

Thousands of students around New Jersey staged walkouts and held in-school programs on Wednesday in response to the shooting in Parkland.

The controversy at Lacey’s high school has drawn the attention of a New Jersey gun advocacy group, which sent a cease and desist letter to the district threatening a lawsuit if its policy remained unchanged and the suspension of the students was not overturned.

The Association of New Jersey Rifle & Pistol Clubs letter cited the rule stating students could be suspended for up to a year if they are reported to be in possession of a weapon of any type for any reason or purpose on or off school grounds.”

Multiple attempts by NJ Advance Media to reach the students and their families were unsuccessful. Buron said both families are upset at how the incident was handled. Both teens fell behind in Advance Placement courses due to the in-school suspensions, she said.

ANJRPC, the gun group, said the bigger issue is with the policy itself.

“The policy is clearly wrong and violates the Second Amendment,” ANJRPC executive director Scott Bach said. “We hope that they’re reasonable people and they will fix it. If they don’t, we’re prepared to take legal action.”

The ANJRPC also demanded Lacey school officials apologize to the two boys and clear their records.

Read the rest of the story here.

h/t  Weasel Zippers


Get ready to empty your wallets, Seattle: Task force recommends new taxes to address homelessness

perfect enemy of good

The City of Seattle has already allocated over $37M to address homelessness and King County has budgeted over $195M for a grand total of over $232M. But it’s never enough.

From MyNorthwest.comA head tax on Seattle businesses may not be enough, according to a task force that is now recommending additional taxes on the city’s wealthy residents.

“We therefore believe that the City of Seattle should pass legislation this year to generate $150 million per year in new progressive revenue, including an Employee Hours Tax,” the task force states in its report to the council. “… wisely invested over the next 10 years, will result in significant and measurable progress toward ending the crisis of homelessness and housing insecurity in our city.”

The March 9 report from Seattle’s Progressive Revenue Task Force on Housing and Homelessness primarily proposes an employee hours tax — also referred to as a head tax. But it also proposes new taxes, including estate and CEO taxes.

(The first bulleted item in the report overview: “There is an urgent need for fiscal discipline.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.)

Additionally, the task force recommends the city change its approach to the homeless crises. For example, providing special RV tags allowing them to park without fear of being ticketed.

The task force notes that cuts could be made to some city spending, such as the criminal justice budget. But it concludes that new revenue is the main solution to the homelessness crisis. The task force states that “tax burdens should not be increased lightly,” and that the homeless crisis is caused, in part, by Seattle’s economic boom.

Employee hours tax: The task force recommends the city establish an employee hours tax to go into effect Jan. 1, 2019. It provides a range of options based on employer size and type. In the end, it aims to raise between $25 million to $75 million a year. The reports states: Employers that can afford to contribute more should pay more, while employers that cannot afford to contribute as much should pay less.

Noting that it may not be perfect, the report encourages the council to “not let the perfect be the enemy of the good.”

Care should be taken not to disproportionately impact POC– and other minority-owned businesses and employers, or to speed the process of gentrification and displacement that are already transforming business districts as well as residential areas in many neighborhoods where communities of color have historically resided.

The city would tax employers either with a flat fee per employee or as a percentage of payroll. It also suggests the council design the tax to vary depending on business size. The report states that the council should design exceptions, such as businesses under a certain revenue threshold.

Other new taxes: The task force recommends additional taxes to raise beyond the $75 million employee hours tax. It admits that the amount it proposes won’t cover the entire housing need, but will be “a solid start” to solving the problem through affordable housing programs.

The city can leverage state and federal funding, but still Seattle must pitch in ~ $170,000 per unit. That means we need a total of $3.4 billion, or $340 million per year for 10 years. That $340 million annual need only covers capital costs, not ongoing operations. The task force therefore proposes a variety of additional tax strategies beyond an employee hours tax.

Read the rest of the story here (other proposed new taxes include a high compensation tax and local estate tax – as much as a 50 percent increase!).


Border protection officer hired in 2012 falsely claimed to be a US citizen


From Fox News: A border protection officer claimed he was born in Texas when he’s actually a native of Mexico and illegally obtained a job with the agency charged with protecting the nation’s border, federal officials said Friday.

Marco Antonio De la Garza Jr., 37, faces criminal charges related to passport fraud and making false statements to U.S. Customs and Border Protection on his federal law enforcement background application, the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Arizona said in a news release.

An indictment filed Wednesday in Tucson said De la Garza lied about his citizenship in October during a background check update tied to his job.

“Specifically, it is alleged that De La Garza is a Mexican citizen who knowingly used a fraudulently obtained Texas birth certificate to apply for a United States passport, the U.S. Attorney’s Office said. “Additionally, the indictment charges he knowingly and willfully used the same fraudulently obtained birth certificate to assert United States citizenship on his five-year background check to maintain employment as a United States Customs and Border Protection Officer.”

Authorities said in court records that De la Garza claimed he was born in Brownsville, Texas, when he was actually born across the Rio Grande in Matamoros, Mexico.

Investigators said the midwife who claimed De la Garza was born in Texas had a conviction for conspiring to make false statements on birth certificates in 1984. De la Garza’s records from Mexico confirmed that he was registered for school using a Mexican birth record, according to court records.

While employment requirements for Customs and Border Protection include providing proof of U.S. citizenship, it’s unclear how De la Garza was able to get his job despite not being an American citizen. The agency hired him in April 2012, spokeswoman Teresa Small told the Associated Press on Friday without giving further comment.

Customs and Border Protection issued a statement saying De la Garza was arrested on Feb. 22 in Douglas, Arizona but did not disclose his job status or explain how the agency came to hire a Mexican citizen as an officer.

Matthew H. Green, a Tucson attorney who represents De la Garza, declined comment to the AP.

The 37-year-old is scheduled to be arraigned in federal court on March 23.


Autonomous Flying Taxi?

File this under, “What could possibly go wrong”

Alphabet CEO Larry Page-backed firm unveils its pilotless flying car called Cora

Google co-founder and Alphabet CEO Larry Page’s autonomous flying taxi company unveiled its commercial plane called Cora late on Monday.

Let me get this straight. You expect me to climb into a flying vehicle without a pilot?

This might seem okay to someone who just fell off the turnip truck. But this man is on his 5th Macbook Pro computer. You know, the laptop supercomputer that was crash-proof because of its unix based operating system and high standards of manufacturing integrity.

If any of my Macs was crash-proof, then why am I on my 5th?

And now Google is telling me I can be confident of my safety in a flying machine whose pilot is a crash-proof operating system?

Maybe the elites really are trying to kill us.

NSFW: Is this a new fad? The “No Lackin” challenge…

“No Lackin” as in “I’m not lacking a gun.”

According to Know Your Meme:

No Lackin Challenge is a video fad in which people film themselves brandishing firearms and pointing the weapons at unsuspecting victims to provoke them into displaying a firearm in return. The game is meant as a way to test the readiness of people who are living in high crime areas.

According to the HipWiki, the slang expression “no lackin” was initially popularized among Chicago gang members. On June 13th, 2012, rapper Lil Mister released a song titled “No Lackin.”

On August 15th, 2014, Urban Dictionary[4] user Been Krill submitted an entry for “No Lackin,” defining the term as “Not having a firearm on you.” The exact origin of the “No Lackin” challenge is unknown. The earliest known example was uploaded by YouTuber Chase BanzVIDEOS in a video titled “Never Get Caught Lacking in Chicago ‘Challenge’” on September 11th, 2017.”

Yet according to Snopes, this is not a real thing (they say it is “unproven”):

“Teenagers are participating in a dangerous new internet craze known as the “No Lackin Challenge,” and a Memphis boy was shot in the head during an instance of the fad gone awry.

Early, local reports of the incident didn’t describe the shooting as related to the No Lackin Challenge. The internet fad apparently involves participants drawing guns on one another; in the context of the No Lackin Challenge, “lackin” is purportedly a Chicago-area colloquialism defined as being caught without a firearm.

No matter the case for the origin or validity of this challenge, it appears that this is a thing, as evidenced by the videos on YouTube.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.


Human dogs at 2018 Mardi Gras, Australia

There is simply no end to human perversity.

In Christian cultures, Mardi Gras (“Fat Tuesday” in French) is a festival that marks the last night of eating rich foods before the ritual fasting of Lent — the 40 days before Holy Week, in which Christians fast, pray and make special sacrifices in memory of Christ’s suffering and crucifixion.

Once upon a time, people would dress up in feather, beads and festive clothing for Mardi Gras.

Not so today.

Below are scenes of people who debase their humanity by dressing themselves as dogs, from the March 3, 2018 Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras in Sydney, Australia, in which Cher made a “surprise appearance” and an estimated 300,000 spectators thronged the streets. (Source of images: “human pup” handler Tycho Aurora’s Twitter)

According to the “Secret Life of the Human Pups,” a program broadcast on the UK Channel 4 TV in May 2016, as many as 10,000 people in the UK are “human pups” — a movement that grew out of the BDSM community and has exploded in the last 15 years as the internet made it easier to reach out to like-minded people.

Human pups tend to be male, homosexual, like to dress in leather, wear dog-like hoods, play with toys, eat out of bowls, often have human “handlers” or “owners” who take them out on a leash.

One of them is Tom, 32, a theater technician who prefers to be called Spot. Tom  split up with his fiancee Rachel because of his yearning to dress up as a Dalmatian, which she neither understands nor wants to. Tom says: “You’re not worrying about money, or food, or work. It’s just the chance to enjoy each other’s company on a very simple level. You disappear and start chasing puppy toys. You go so deep into the head space, you crave it and want it. It’s just magic.”

Tom has spent more than £4,000 ($5,555) over the past 10 years on his canine habit. Although his Dalmatian rubber costume, complete with breathing tube, is “quite awkward to put on, you need a lot of talc,” so intense is his craving that he has taken to sleeping in a dog training crate, lined with puppy training pads for urinating. On his Twitter account, “Spot” says he is owned by Colin, who describes himself as being into “Lycra, Gunge, Pup Play, BDSM.” Tom and Colin have a “gay relationship”. In November 2015, Tom was crowned Mr. Puppy UK, and represented the UK in the finals of Mr. Puppy Euro in Belgium.

Another “human pup” is David, a writer who works in academia. He says “puppy play” is an escape from the academic analytical world:

“It’s so totally non-verbal. It’s pre-rational, pre-conscious. It’s an instinctive, emotional space. But within every puppy is a person. I can go months without going into pup space. The gay scene can be very serious, scary and offputting. But if you’re going in with a little puppy hood, ears and a tongue, you look cute. You’re allowed to bound around and be enthusiastic, mischievous and friendly. Some pups are solo, of course, but for me the puppy identity is focused on the bond between me and Sidney, my handler. I’ve been collared to him for 10 years. If anyone comes near him I growl like a little bull terrier.”

Kaz, another “human pup,” says that being one isn’t just a fun mask to try on, it’s how they identify and who they are. Kaz socializes “as a pack,” enjoys physical closeness with other pups, and always eats out of a dog bowl at home:

“Even when I worked in PC World I would sometimes walk up to people and nip at their shirt. It’s just nice, it makes me feel comfortable. But I always eat with a knife and fork and at a table. Otherwise it’s time-consuming and you can’t watch TV. People automatically jump to the conclusion that this is gear we wear to have sex. I used to get asked awful questions like, if I liked having sex with dogs. But it’s certainly not that, and it’s not always sexual. Members of my pack, we spend a lot of time together at home just being dogs. There’s nine of us and my partner is our handler. A big part of it is a feeling of family and belonging; we’re there to look after each other.”

Sources: The Guardian; Daily Mail