Madness or Funny? You decide!
In the Iranian city of Qom, a Muslim cleric named Ayatollah Tabrizian denounced Western medicine and suggested alternative methods to combat the Wuhan virus-induced COVID-19 respiratory disease.
Along with combing your hair thoroughly, consuming copious amounts of brown sugar, burning wild rue, and inhaling snuff, Ayatollah Tabrizian suggested the novel technique of smearing violet leaf oil on one’s anus. He posted this on the social messaging service Telegram (source: The New Arab):
“Before bedtime, drench some cotton in violet oil and apply onto your anus”
In India, a Hindu group hosted a cow-urine drinking party on Saturday to ward off the Wuhan virus in the belief that cow pee has magical medicinal properties because Hindus consider cows to be sacred. (Daily Mail)
Meanwhile, in the United States, last Thursday afternoon (March 12) in a jam-packed Sam’s Club of panicked shoppers in metro Atlanta, Georgia, a fight broke out when a man in a motorized shopping cart bumped into the cart pushed by a man and woman.
Motorized-man and cart-man grabbed wine bottles and began hitting each other, which ended in one man being wheeled out of the store on a stretcher. (AJC)
I suggest you lower your volume before clicking on the video below.
On Saturday, March 14, in Oregon, the Newport Police Department asked the public not to call 9-1-1 because they ran out of toilet paper. Below is the Newport PD’s post on Facebook:
It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this. Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance.
In fact, history offers many other options for you in your time of need if you cannot find a roll of your favorite soft, ultra plush two-ply citrus scented tissue. Seamen used old rope and anchor lines soaked in salt water. Ancient Romans used a sea sponge on a stick, also soaked in salt water. We are a coastal town. We have an abundance of salt water available. Sea shells were also used. Mayans used corn cobs. Colonial Americans also used the core of the cob. Farmers not only used corn cobs, but used pages from the Farmers Almanac. Many Americans took advantage of the numerous pages torn from free catalogs such as Sears and Roebuck. The Sears Christmas catalog, four times thicker than the normal catalog, could get a family of three wiped clean from December through Valentine’s Day; or Saint Patrick’s Day if they were frugal. Then, of course, there are always alternatives to toilet paper. Grocery receipts, newspaper, cloth rags, lace, cotton balls, and that empty toilet paper roll sitting on the holder right now. Plus, there are a variety of leaves you can safely use. Mother Earth News magazine will even tell you how to make your own wipes using fifteen different leaves. When all else fails, you have magazine pages. Start saving those catalogs you get in the mail that you usually toss into the recycle bin.
Be resourceful. Be patient. There is a TP shortage. This too shall pass. Just don’t call 9-1-1. We cannot bring you toilet paper.
Meanwhile, back in Iran, the epicenter of the pandemic in the Middle East, yesterday the government reported 113 new Wuhan coronavirus deaths, the country’s biggest single-day jump in fatalities since the outbreak began, bringing the death toll to 724, and confirmed COVID-19 cases to nearly 14,000. There are reasons to suspect the actual number of infections in Iran is much higher.
But as countries across Europe, the latest being Germany, close their borders to contain the Wuhan virus, President Hassan Rouhani of Iran ruled out a general quarantine and said the government was working to keep open the country’s borders. (Fox News)
Drudge Report has gone to the dark side. Check out Whatfinger News, the Internet’s conservative frontpage founded by a military veteran!
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