Category Archives: Humor

Big government butting in: British man ordered to remove butt-baring gnome ornaments

gnome ornament

Mr. Perry with the offensive gnome butt/Telegraph photo

From NY Post: A British gardener is butting heads with his local council over its crackdown against his bottom-baring gnomes, according to a report.

Lauren Perry, 77, was ordered to remove two cheeky ornaments from outside his Wistaston home because they were deemed a possible distraction to motorists, the Telegraph reported.

“It has been brought to our attention that several displays and items have been placed on the highway verge in Wistaston,” read a letter from the village’s senior highways officer.

“I am sure that your intentions are meant to be humorous and light hearted. Unfortunately, not everyone shares the same sentiment,” wrote Andrea Bickerton, who gave Perry a week to take down the characters. “If you fail to remove them, the Council will remove them and recover from you the expense of doing so,” she warned.

But Perry took the letter as a real kick in the pants. “I feel very disappointed. My daughter bought them for Father’s Day as a bit of fun as she knows I like a laugh. These things are in discount stores in their hundreds on shelves,” he said.

“How can they be classed as offensive? I put them up two weeks ago — no one ever approached me to complain or ask for them to be removed. The next thing I know, this heavy-handed letter arrives,” he added.

Perry told the Telegraph that he had worked hard to turn a rough patch of trash-filled land into a more attractive area.

“It’s all been self-funded as we were turned down for funding by the parish council,” he said. “We even bought the sign that says ‘Wonderful Wistaston.’ Now I feel like replacing it with one that says ‘Miserable Wistaston.’”

Realizing there will be no fairy-tale ending, Perry said he would move one of the gnomes onto a wall and replace the other elf with one with its pants on

Hopefully, no one will find that offensive. You’d think Cheshire East highways had more important things to worry about — like clearing out all the gulleys full of weeds,” he railed.

A council spokesman said village leaders “do not wish to spoil people’s fun,” but that “there is a safety issue here as such objects could easily cause a distraction to motorists and other road users, leading to an accident.”

DCG

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Friday Nite Funnies

A couple of political truths:


And, my favorite!

H/t FOTM‘s josephbc69 and maziel

~Eowyn

Tuesday Funnies: Trump vs. Fake News

H/t John Molloy

~Eowyn

Female House Democrats defy patriarchy with sleeveless Friday

With all the problems in America and the world, female Democrats in the House of Representatives showed their defiance of the oppressive patriarchy by baring their arms yesterday, declaring Fridays henceforth to be sleeveless.

The U.S. House of Representatives has a dress code for House chambers of suit-and-tie for men and sleeves and no open-toed shoes for women.

Some of the female representatives tweeted their decisive blow against male patriarchy:

Hank Berrien reports for The Daily Wire, July 14, 2017:

The brouhaha over the dress code was triggered when Weekly Standard reporter Jenna Lifhits tried to use paper from her notebook as a way to cover up her shoulders, but was refused entrance to the House chambers. Independent Journal Review reporter Haley Byrd was ejected from the Speaker’s lobby for wearing a sleeveless dress.

On Thursday, House Speaker Paul Ryan indicated he would ask the sergeant-at-arms to modernize the dress code that also includes requiring men to wear a suit and tie in both the Speaker’s lobby and House chamber.

The celebration over the defiant escape to freedom from the patriarchy now will be etched in history alongside other historic moments such as the 1963 Martin Luther King-led March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom.

Next on the Democrat women’s agenda:

Hairy Armpit Friday!

Because shaving women’s armpits is submission to the oppressive male patriarchy.

~Eowyn

You shut up! No, you shut up!

Pride goes before a fall

Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to be focused on how big you are.

monkey

Monkey Business in Court

When the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals isn’t trying to stall President Trump’s agenda, it has other important cases 

AP: Federal court to rule if a monkey owns the copyright for its selfie photos

July 12, 2017 at 7:42 PM

This 2011 photo provided by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals shows a selfie taken by a macaque monkey on the Indonesian island of Sulawesi with a camera that was positioned by British nature photographer David Slater. The photo is part of a court exhibit in a lawsuit filed by PETA. (David Slater/Court exhibit via AP)

By Associated Press
SAN FRANCISCO — A curious monkey with a toothy grin and a knack for pressing a camera button was back in the spotlight Wednesday as a federal appeals court heard arguments on whether an animal can hold a copyright to selfie photos…

“People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sued Slater and the San Francisco-based self-publishing company Blurb, which published a book called “Wildlife Personalities” that includes the monkey selfies, for copyright infringement. It sought a court order in 2015 allowing it to administer all proceeds from the photos taken in a wildlife reserve in Sulawesi, Indonesia to benefit the monkey.”

Read more: http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2017/07/federal_court_to_rule_if_a_mon.html


Well dear readers, here’s a case considered worthy of the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals. Any thoughts?

 

The crying Merkel Caption Contest

This is the 154th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic:

About: The photo above, of German Chancellor Angela Merkel and President Trump, was taken at the recent G-20 Summit, July 2017, in Hamburg, Germany. No explanation given.

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box), not via email or on Facebook.
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM:D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, July 18, 2017.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

Trump: “Shame on you, Madame Chancellor, for asking me to grab your p*ssy!”

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, click here.

~Eowyn