Category Archives: Humor

Animal Funnies!

~Eowyn

Better than Drudge Report. Check out Whatfinger News, the Internet’s conservative frontpage founded by ex-military!

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Monday Funnies!

. . . and political truth memes.

H/t Maziel & Big Lug

~Eowyn

Better than Drudge Report. Check out Whatfinger News, the Internet’s conservative frontpage founded by ex-military!

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The Hide-in-a-Mattress Caption Contest

This is the 195th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the gif:

About the gif: Spanish border police find African “migrant” in a mattress.

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM:D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, March 12, 2019.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

Come to the US-Mexico border, all ye dregs of the world! You can just saunter into America without resorting to tricks like hiding in a mattress!

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

~Eowyn

Better than Drudge Report. Check out Whatfinger News, the Internet’s conservative frontpage founded by ex-military!

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We have a winner!

. . . of FOTM’s 194th Caption Contest!

This was a contest in which 3 captions clearly stood out.

The writers of FOTM voted for what each considered to be the best (#1) and second-best (#2) captions. Each #1 vote is worth 4 points; a #2 vote is worth 2 points.

And the winner of the 194th FOTM Caption Contest, with three #1 votes and one #2 vote, totaling 14 points, is . . .

Jdombek!

Here’s the winning caption:

“This much of Germany will be non-muslim.”

Lophatt is in 2nd place, with two #1 votes and two #2 votes, totaling 12 points. Here’s his caption:

“My mom taught me to do this whenever my hands start to form the Hitler salute.”

Julie G is in 3rd place, with two #1 votes and one #2 vote, totaling 10 points. Here’s her caption:

Preying hands

J. Dombek, silhouette, and wandafish are in 4th place, each with one #2 vote and 2 points. Here are their respective captions:

J. Dombek: “The muslims said we can keep this much of our country.”

silhouette: “This is how much care I have for my fellow countrymen.”

wandafish: “Fellow satanists, continue in your efforts in decimating the Christians until they are reduced to this many!”

WELL DONE, EVERYONE!

Congratulations, Jdombek!

Here’s your super-duper Award of Excellence, all ready for framing!

For all the other caption submissions, go here.

Be here tomorrow for our next, very exciting Caption Contest!

~Eowyn

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Monday Funnies!

. . . and political truth memes.

How to flunk an IQ test

H/t Auntie Lulu

~Eowyn

Better than Drudge Report. Check out Whatfinger News, the Internet’s conservative frontpage founded by ex-military!

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Saturday Funnies!

. . . and puns!

H/t Maziel

~Eowyn

Better than Drudge Report. Check out Whatfinger News, the Internet’s conservative frontpage founded by ex-military!

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Monday Funnies! 2019 Plumber of the Year Award

The awards season is upon us.

Last night, Hollyweirdos once again misused the Academy Awards as their political platform to trash President Trump’s immigration policy and, in so doing, display their utter contempt for the Deplorables — the 62.979 million Americans who’d voted for Trump in 2016.

See “Hollyweirdos use 2019 Oscars Awards to trash border wall and Trump’s immigration policy

You won’t find politics in the 2019 Plumber of the Year Award!

Here are the finalists:

And the winner of the 2019 Plumber of the Year Award goes to . . . .

[Drumroll]

H/t James B.

~Eowyn

Better than Drudge Report. Check out Whatfinger News, the Internet’s conservative frontpage founded by ex-military!

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Sunday Funnies!

Medicare Part G

If you are an older senior citizen and can no longer take care of yourself and need Long-Term Care, but the hospital says Medicare does not provide for nursing home care, what do you do?

You may opt for the little-known Medicare Part G!

The plan gives anyone 70 or older a gun (Part G) and one bullet to shoot a worthless politician, after which you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life.

There, you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the health care you need:

  • Need new teeth? No problem.
  • Need glasses? You’re covered.
  • Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart? They are all covered!

As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now!

And, who will be paying for all of this?

The same government that just told you they can’t afford for you to go into a nursing home. And you will get rid of a useless politician while you are at it.

The best part is this: Because you are a prisoner, you don’t have to pay any more income taxes!

Is this a great country or what?

H/t Auntie Lulu

~Eowyn

Better than Drudge Report. Check out Whatfinger News, the Internet’s conservative frontpage founded by ex-military!

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Charles Barkley of ‘Inside the NBA’ ridicules Jussie Smollett

The real comedy is no longer found in late-night TV shows, all politicized and corrupted by the Left.

Last night, the “Inside the NBA” panel descended into helpless laughter when Charles Barkley mercilessly ridiculed Hollyweirdo Jussie Smollett, who was arrested yesterday for falsely reporting a racist, homophobic attack against him. It turned out that Smollett had hired two Nigerians to fake the assault.

See “Fake Hate Crime: Hollyweirdo Jussie Smollett arrested for faking racist-homophobic assault“.

As described by Business Insider, the “Inside the NBA” team was discussing how the second half of the season would shake out. Kenny Smith asked Ernie Johnson which of the predictions they had made earlier in the year had no chance of coming true.

“Two black guys beating a black guy up,” Barkley interrupted, sending Shaquille O’Neal and the “Inside the NBA” panel into hysterics.

Referring to Smollett paying the Nigerians with a personal check, Barkley said: “America, let me just tell you something. Do not commit crimes with checks.”

The production team at “Inside the NBA” jumped into action and quickly fashioned a spoof image of the check, shown after the commercial break:

Here’s the video of the “Inside the NBA” segment:

~Eowyn

Better than Drudge Report. Check out Whatfinger News, the Internet’s conservative frontpage founded by ex-military!

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Wednesday funnies…#JussieSmollet hoax edition!

DCG

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