Category Archives: Humor

Socialist national convention in Atlanta descends into farce with complaints of gendered language & sensory overload

You can’t make this stuff up.

On Saturday, August 3, 2019, about 1,500 members of the Democratic Socialists of America (DSA), the largest socialist organization in the United States, had their 2019 national convention in Atlanta, Georgia.

Here’s the live-stream video of the convention:

https://youtu.be/hWZA8u_BCbM

The socialist convention was an unintended farce, beginning with an outlining of the rules of the convention which included a prohibition on “aggressive scents”.

The speakers all addressed each other as “comrades.”

One of the first speakers is a self-identified “feminist” democratic socialist who describes herself as “compassionate,” then lauds her “comrades” across the country who recently raised $130,000 in a bowl-a-thon for “abortion access”. So much for “compassion”.

The murderous “compassionate feminist” was followed by a beta male delegate from Austin, Texas, in a red Bernie (Sanders) t-shirt, who began speaking by announcing “I use he/him pronouns,” then blabbered on about “working class power”. I seriously doubt Mr. Beta Male works in a factory. /Sarc

Beginning at the 54:00 mark in the live-stream video, the delegates sang “The Internationale” — the official anthem of the international socialist movement, calling on “workers” and the “servile masses” to rise from their “slumber”.

Then, a delicate-snowflake named James Jackson from Sacramento, CA, complained to the convention chair about getting “sensory overload” from too much “whispering and chatting” in the room.

Jackson said, ending every phrase and sentence in an up note, like a young girl:

Guys, first of all, James Jackson from Sacramento, he/him [his preferred pronouns]. I just want to say, can we please keep the chatter to a minimum? I’m one of those people who’s very, very prone to sensory overload, and there’s a lot of whispering and chatting going on, it’s making it very difficult for me to focus.”

As Jackson was speaking, several delegates waved “jazz hands” in the air instead of applauding because jazz hands are considered less “triggering” to those sensitive to loud sounds like applause.

The Chair said to Jackson, “Thank you, comrade.”

Within seconds, another male delegate stumbled to the microphone and yelled: “Point of personal privilege! Point of personal privilege!”

“Yes?” the chair asked.

Objecting to James Jackson addressing the convention as “guys,” the delegate shouted: “Please do not use gendered language to address everyone!

“OK,” the flustered Chair said.

FoxNews reports that later in the day, “sensory overload” Jackson repeated his complaint. He said:

“Quick point of privilege ONCE again! Hi, James Jackson, Sacramento DSA, he/him. I have ALREADY asked people to be mindful of the chatter of their comrades who are sensitive to sensory overload. And that goes DOUBLE for the heckling and the hissing. It is also triggering to my anxiety. Like, being comradely isn’t just for, like, keeping things civil or whatever. It’s so people aren’t going to get triggered, and so that it doesn’t affect their performance as a delegate.”

According to a new Fox News poll, 54% of U.S. voters thought the U.S. moving from capitalism toward socialism would be a “bad thing”, but 53% of Democratic primary voters said it would be a “good” development.

~Eowyn

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Wednesday Animal Funnies!

Dog plays dead:

Cat watches horror movie:

~Eowyn

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Monday funnies!

When you’re deciding which beer to buy, then look at your bank account:

DCG

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Thursday funnies!

DCG

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We have a winner!

. . . for FOTM’s 204th Caption Contest!

This was a quite competitive contest, with three outstanding captions contending for first place.

The writers of FOTM voted for what each considered to be the best (#1) and second-best (#2) captions. Each #1 vote is worth 4 points; a #2 vote is worth 2 points.

And the winner of the 204th FOTM Caption Contest, with two #1 votes and three #2 votes, totaling a whopping 14 points, is . . .

William!

Here is the brilliant winning caption:

Bernie, suddenly aware that he is being photographed, attempts to conceal his copy of The Communist Manifesto.

Cornell and kjf are both in second place, each with two #1 votes and one #2 vote, totaling 10 points each. Here are their captions:

Cornell: “FLY AIR MARXISM!”

kjf: “Why could Mossad not upgrade me to Epstein’s plane?”

Ron W is in 3rd place, with one #1 vote and one #2 vote, totaling 6 points. Here is his caption:

As a quote I’ve seen says, “Socialism is not for the socialist.”

Goldbug is in 4th place, with one #1 vote and 4 points. Here is the caption:

Wow, was she good or what? And only fifty bucks?

Kevin Lankford and Jackie Puppet are in 5th place, each with one #2 vote and 2 points. Here are their captions:

Kevin Lankford: “No!…No!!…I tell ya!…You know I would not lie. I’m sure they told me this was the [W]orst class.”

Jackie Puppet: “Some of us are more equal than others!”

WELL DONE, EVERYONE!

Congratulations, William!

Here is your super-duper Award of Excellence, all ready for framing!

For all the other caption submissions, go here.

Be here tomorrow for our next, very exciting Caption Contest!

~Eowyn

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Sunday Funny: March of the Belgian Cadets

Belgium is a founding member of both the European Union and the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) military alliance of which the United States is also a member. In fact, NATO’s headquarters are in Brussels, the capital of Belgium. That means America is obliged by treaty to defend Belgium.

Ponder that, as you watch the video below of a group of cadets of the Belgium Defense Forces.

From “an open letter to the esteemed Belgian Defence Forces,” published on Military Times, an independent source of news and information for U.S. service members and their families:

[Y]our cadets of the Belgian Defence Forces…spent the week commemorating noteworthy first steps — which appeared to be their first … ever.

For that is the terrifying display the rest of the world bore witness to this week during the broadcast of a wonderful Belgian parade, one in which your group of cadets managed to stumble their way through…. One must assume the only reason for including this group of cadets was due to the nation of Belgium literally running out of human beings to fill the void in this section of the parade….

And the leader? He somehow managed to fall out of step … with himself…. If any training, at all, occurred leading up to this abomination, everyone involved is to be condemned for a job never done.

~Eowyn

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Puppy flunks police dog academy for being too friendly

The BBC News reports that a German Shepherd puppy named Gavel flunked out of the police dog academy in Queensland, Australia, for being too “sociable”.

When the pup first arrived at the academy in 2016, a press release from police said: “Gavel comes from a long line of pedigree… if the family bloodline is anything to go by, in 16 months Gavel will be tracking and catching criminals as a proud member of the Queensland Dog Squad!”

Alas, that was not to be.

Queensland police sadly concluded that Gavel “did not display the necessary aptitude for a life on the front line” because he liked to meet strangers instead of tackling hardened criminals.

Luckily, Gavel had been fostered in the official residence of Queensland Governor Paul de Jersey since the pup was six weeks old. So in February 2017, the governor assigned Gavel to a brand new job as a “ceremonial participant” with the title, Gavel VRD: Vice Regal Dog.

As Vice Regal Dog, Gavel’s job is to welcome guests and tour groups to the grounds of Queensland’s Government House, as well as partake in special ceremonial occasions. The job comes with a custom-made uniform featuring the state emblems of Queensland.

Governor Paul de Jersey’s office said Gavel “has outgrown four ceremonial coats . . . and brought untold joy to the lives of the governor, Mrs de Jersey, Government House staff, and the thousands of Queenslanders who have since visited the estate. We hope Gavel’s with us for a long, long time into the future.” 

~Eowyn

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Political correctness ruins everything…

This would be funny if it wasn’t so true…

DCG

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The Lying-Piece-of-Scum Caption Contest

This is the 204th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic:

About the pic: Millionaire socialist Sen. Bernie Sanders (Vermont), a proponent of the Green New Deal and wealth redistribution, flew first class to the first 2020 Demonrat Primary Debate on May 13, 2019 in Miami, Florida. His wife flew coach.

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM:D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, July 23, 2019.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

“You caught me. I’m a lyin’ piece of scum. Do as I say, not as I do!”

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

~Eowyn

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We have a winner!

. . . for FOTM’s 203rd Caption Contest!

The writers of FOTM voted for what each considered to be the best (#1) and second-best (#2) captions. Each #1 vote is worth 4 points; a #2 vote is worth 2 points.

And the winner of the 203rd FOTM Caption Contest, with three #1 votes and one #2 vote, totaling a whopping 14 points, is . . .

Tanc!

Here is the winning caption:

Proof, only pussies vote Democrat.

William is in second place, with one #1 vote and one #2 vote, totaling 6 points. Here is his caption:

Vaginas of the world, unite. You have nothing to lose but your self-respect

In third place are GregB (with two #1 votes), and Kevin Lankford, Russell and YouKnowWho (each with one #1 vote), totaling 4 points each. Here are their captions:

GregB: “Vaginas (plural) brought me into this world? Yes, they really are THAT stupid!”

Kevin Lankford: “And as long as we got ‘planned parenthood’, we got the power over life and death”

Russell: “I was delivered by Caesarean so your premise fails…”

YouKnowWho: “Loose Lips Sink Ships”

Locke Enlode, Tom, and another William caption are in 4th place, each with one #2 vote and 2 points. Here are their captions:

Locke Enlode: “Enter my twat-light zone… the newest portal to hell on earth!”

Tom: “And without sperm, vaginas are as vestigial as an appendix.”

William: “The United Federation of Pussyhats presents their entry in the ‘Stupidest Political Statement of All Time’ competition”

WELL DONE, EVERYONE!

Congratulations, Tanc!

Here is your super-duper Award of Excellence, all ready for framing!

For all the other caption submissions, go here.

Be here tomorrow for our next, very exciting Caption Contest!

~Eowyn

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