Best Christmas Cookie Recipe Ever

Rate this post

Note: This is a regurgitated post from back in 2011, but I figured we have enough new readers to make it worth posting again – Dave
1 cup of water
lemon juice
1 tsp. baking soda
4 large eggs
1 cup of sugar
1 cup nuts
1 tsp. salt
2 cups of dried fruit
1 cup brown sugar
1 bottle Jack Daniels Whiskey
Sample the Jack Daniels to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the Jack Daniels again to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer…Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar… Beat again.
At this point it’s best to make sure the Jack Daniels is still OK, try another cup…just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor…Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Jack Daniels to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.
Check the Jack Daniels. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don’t forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Dack Janiels and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
(h/t: my dear SiL)

Please follow and like us:

0 responses to “Best Christmas Cookie Recipe Ever

  1. Thank You…made me laugh til my eyes watered! My husband didn’t understand how a cookie recipe could be funny. 🙂

  2. …and by the time you’re done you don’t really CARE how the cookies turn out.

  3. Classic 🙂

  4. That was wonderful. Thanks for sharing!

  5. This is hilarious! I was raised Baptist, and a lot of people at church get so angry about alcohol as if it was the worst thing.

    • Julia,
      I live in Georgia and was raised Baptist as well.
      LOL – And you wouldn’t believe how many of them have pretty well-stocked wet bars in their basements. 🙂

  6. Hilarious Dave! Maybe that is what I am missing when I cook, Jack Daniels! (LOL)

    • Yeah, I have to post this every couple of years – just because.
      I’m not much of a baker, but I have been known to put some rum in a few cookie recipes in my day, but have never gone with the JD.

  7. This is great. Laughed till I cried.

  8. Just like mom used to make!

  9. So funny…this is my house at Christmas….

  10. Dave, I’m up to the challenge, so look for “Joseph’s World Famous Chili con Carne” recipe next, and please: show some respect by not heaving BEFORE you get to the end.
    Many thanks,
    Joseph & Dakota Bear[ly]


Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.