Author Archives: Dave

Friday Funny

A couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.

Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the baby’s father.

He asked if they were interested. Both said they were in favor of it.

The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced.

As the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.

The doctor adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband’s blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.

At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well.

Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain and the husband continued to experience no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.

 

When they got home they found the mailman dead on the porch.

-Dave
(h/t: My NB bud Michael)

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Wednesday Funny

The downside to having a short temper…..
 
Subject:  TEXT TO NEIGHBOR:
TEXT TO NEIGHBOR:
Hi, Fred, this is Richard, next door. I’ve got a confession to make.
I’ve been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. At least I’m telling you in this text and
I can’t live with myself a minute longer without you knowing about this.
The truth is that when you’re not around I’ve been sharing your wife, day and night. In fact, probably much more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home
recently and I know that that’s no excuse. The temptation was just too great.  I can’t live with the guilt and hope you’ll accept my sincere apology and forgive me.
Please suggest a fee for usage and I’ll pay you.
Regards, Richard
NEIGHBOR’S RESPONSE:
Fred, feeling so angered and betrayed, grabbed his gun and shot Richard killing him. He went back home and poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa.
Fred then looked at his phone and discovered a second Text message from Richard.
SECOND TEXT MESSAGE:
Hi, Fred. Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect you figured it out and noticed that the damned Auto-Spell Correct had changed “wi-fi” to “wife”.
Technology, huh? It’ll be the death of us all.
Regards, Richard
-Dave
(H/t: My NB bud Michael)
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Friday Evening Funny

I got this in an email from my brother a little earlier, and I felt compelled to share it with you guys.

Mexican Word of the Day:

broom_hilda
Dave
 

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KSU has Finally Crossed Over to the Dark Side

19805251_bg2
For the last seventeen or so years, I have watched with some horror (and not a little disgust) as my former institution of “higher learning” began to slowly slip into the hell of political correctness.
I suppose back then I rather naively thought that KSU would somehow manage to stay above the PC lunacy many colleges and universities have been rapidly descending into over the last two decades. After all, this area of the country is not exactly known as a bastion of liberalism.
Whatever hope I once had for my former university has now evaporated:
Via heatst.com:

College Puts White People in Separate Room For ‘Privilege Workshop’

By Jillian Kay Melchior|1:37 pm, April 18, 2017
When Kennesaw State University held an event last week on privilege and interracial relations, it asked “those who identify as white” to go to one room and “those who identify as people of color” to go to another.

“The goal of the workshop, which was led by an outside expert, was to foster learning and create an environment of understanding and support for one another,” said Kennesaw State University spokeswoman Tammy DeMel. “Attendees were asked to work together and then were invited to join the group with which they identify.”

The April 13 event “is being mischaracterized” as segregation, DeMel added.

The event, a workshop called “Being, Becoming and Fostering Allies: Building Relationships Across Privilege,” was taught by two psychology professors and one grad student from the University of Massachusetts, as well as a Kennesaw State University professor.
In it, students learned about becoming an ally for less privileged people, as well as “the essential roles of self-reflection, cultural humility, and re-engagement after failures.”
Kennesaw State University is the latest to grapple with the implications of separating students by race. In the last academic year, the University of Wisconsin-Madison, the University of Michigan, and Concordia University all found themselves facing accusations of segregation after they held events divided by race or focused on one particular racial group.
— Jillian Kay Melchior writes for Heat Street and is a fellow for the Steamboat Institute and the Independent Women’s Forum
End-
Despite the (weak) protestations to the contrary, does anyone actually believe the true goal of this blatantly racist, bull-squeeze “workshop” is not meant to drive a wedge even deeper between the races?
I have a bridge to sell you if you do.
Had something like this been attempted when I was enrolled there back in the day, most of my fellow students would have pitched a fit.
But that was another time in an America that apparently no-longer exists.
Dave
(H/t: Drudge)

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Friday Evening Chuckle

Just thought I would share this with my FotM friends:
carrier
-Dave
(h/t my NB bud Earnyourkeep)
 

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The Republicans are Hopeless

 
rino
Unless you were swept out to sea by Colin over the weekend, you are probably keenly aware of the latest dust-up involving certain comments Donald Trump made concerning the “judge” that is overseeing the now famous Trump U case.
Gutless RINOs have been falling out of the rafters ever since, condemning Trump for his “inexcusable” and even “racist” statements questioning the objectivity of U.S. District Judge Gonzalo Curiel.
Now that more information is beginning to surface concerning Judge Curiel and his questionable personal and professional associations, those that have jumped on the Slam Trump bandwagon without so much as looking first are beginning to appear not a little silly.
In fact, they are looking down right stupid.
Trump has every right to raise the issue concerning this judge’s fairness. If I were him, I would have done exactly the same thing. And no, I would not have sugar-coated it, either, as I have heard many talking heads suggest that Trump should have done exactly that.
No, he should not have tempered his comments, and I am very glad that he chose not to.
I have been hearing a lot of commentators suggesting that Trump needs to “tone it down” now that he is the republican nominee apparent.
My question is, why? Trump being Trump is what has gotten him this far. Why screw with the formula now?
Sadly, it appears the affliction known as Political Correctness has infected all areas of American life, even in people that you would think should know better.
Erick Erickson, who is definitely not a Trump supporter, is falling all over himself ripping the man, and has taken to pronouncing from his WSB studio here in Atlanta that Trump is going to destroy the Republican Party.
Personally, I hope Trump burns the whole corrupt RINO zoo to the ground.
Then I hope he bombs the ashes – just to be sure.
-Dave
 
 

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Dave's Good Deed for the Year

Just thought I would throw in a little fall public service reminder for our camel-flea infested dune monkey friends:
original12
Never let it be said that I am not diversified in my civic mindedness.
/s.
-Dave
(h/t: NB’s Earnyourkeep)

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Best Christmas Cookie Recipe Ever


Note: This is a regurgitated post from back in 2011, but I figured we have enough new readers to make it worth posting again – Dave
Ingredients:
1 cup of water
lemon juice
1 tsp. baking soda
4 large eggs
1 cup of sugar
1 cup nuts
1 tsp. salt
2 cups of dried fruit
1 cup brown sugar
1 bottle Jack Daniels Whiskey
Sample the Jack Daniels to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the Jack Daniels again to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer…Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar… Beat again.
At this point it’s best to make sure the Jack Daniels is still OK, try another cup…just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor…Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Jack Daniels to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.
Check the Jack Daniels. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don’t forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Dack Janiels and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
CHERRY MISTMAS 😀
-Dave
(h/t: my dear SiL)

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Hilarious Friday Headline: Michelle Obama muffs Braley’s name

Michelle Obama

And if that’s a woman, I’ll eat my shoe


Via Politico.
LOL – And that is as far as I am going with this one. 😀
-Dave

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Wednesday Howler

carter

Not especially

Jimmy Carter says he would have defeated Reagan had he been more ‘manly’

By Paul Bedard | October 1, 2014 | 10:58 am
Via  washingtonexaminer.com:
Former President Jimmy Carter claimed Wednesday that he would have been re-elected and beaten Ronald Reagan in 1980 if had been more “manly” in his dealings with Iran.
Interviewed by the show “CNBC Meets,” Carter repeated his belief that the failed mission to free American hostages held in Tehran killed his chances, but then added that had he gone to war, America would have rewarded him with a second term in 1980.
“I could’ve been re-elected if I’d taken military action against Iran, shown that I was strong and resolute and, um, manly and so forth,” said the former president, who has established himself as a world human rights leader.
“I could have wiped Iran off the map with the weapons that we had, but in the process a lot of innocent people would have been killed, probably including the hostages and so I stood up against all that all that advice, and then eventually my prayers were answered and every hostage came home safe and free. And so I think I made the right decision in retrospect, but it was not easy at the time,” he said, according to a transcript provided to Secrets.
Interviewed with his wife, Carter said he also had to ignore Rosalynn’s pleadings to “do something.”
In the end, she said that she was proud of her husband. “Peace is very difficult. War is popular in our country,” said Mrs. Carter.
Paul Bedard, the Washington Examiner’s “Washington Secrets” columnist, can be contacted at pbedard@washingtonexaminer.com.
-End
This story was originally posted here.
Today just happens to be Jihad Jimmy’s 90th birthday.
He is also the longest surviving ex-president in history.
It shows.
-Dave

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