Another transgender child…

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I wrote about the 11-year-old boy who is starting a sex change.  Also the 4-year-old boy’s desire to dress up as a princess for Halloween. Now another story about a 7-year-old boy who wants to be a girl.

Girl Scouts Rejects, Then Accepts, Trans Kid

At 7 years old, Bobby already knows he's a girl The Girl Scouts has courted controversy by initially refusing membership to a transgender child, though that stance was later reversed.  “Bobby identifies as a girl, and he’s a boy,” the mother of the 7-year-old, Felisha Archuleta.  Archuleta told the news station that her child, Bobby Montoya, who was born anatomically male, had identified as a girl since about age 2.
Archuleta indicated that Bobby’s family has dealt with the child’s gender expression by doing what medical authorities recommend: Allowing Bobby a choice of clothing, among other gender identity markers.  Archuleta told the media: “He’s been doing this since he was about 2 years old. He’s loved girl stuff, so we just let him dress how he wants, as long as he’s happy.”
But not everyone is prepared to accept that a child built like a boy can be a girl psychologically. Bobby has encountered bullying at school; he told the media that “It hurts me and my mom both” when people make disparaging remarks. (I just want to note here:  kids can be cruel in school.  Doesn’t matter what you have going on – overweight, pimples, skinny, freckles, etc. – you will undoubtedly get teased and /or bullied.)
The issue of transgender kids is a complicated one, as Archuleta discovered when she took Bobby to join the Girl Scouts. Bobby ’s older sister had already joined up, and Bobby was excited to follow suit.  The individual with whom Archuleta interacted refused Bobby membership in the Girl Scouts.
“I said, ’Well, what’s the big deal?’ ” Archuleta recounted. “She said ’It doesn’t matter how he looks, he has boy parts, he can’t be in Girl Scouts. Girl Scouts don’t allow that [and] I don’t want to be in trouble by parents or my supervisor.’ Bobby expressed dismay, telling the media, “It was like somebody told me I can’t like girl stuff, and I have to change my name to something else.”
But the Girl Scouts quickly issued a statement to indicate that Bobby’s rejection was not a reflection on the organization as a whole–and to announce that the child would be welcomed into the fold after all.
I was a Girl Scout in my youth.  I never would have wanted a boy in my group as it was “girl time”.  I would have been extremely confused as to why he didn’t join the Boy Scouts.  I wonder how these Girl Scouts will feel?
And I do have to wonder, in all the cases I wrote about – including this one, the fathers appear to be MIA (they are not mentioned in the articles). 

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0 responses to “Another transgender child…

  1. Sorry, but that’s not why they’re transgender. There are plenty of transgenders that were raised in perfectly normal homes with tough male role models, or ultra-religious male role models. You know what they did? They hid it during all their upbringing years until they were either dead from suicide, or in their 50’s and 60’s and finally realizing that it’s never going to change, and coming to terms with it, and living the lives they felt they were always meant to be. Again, I’ve said this before, trying to psychoanalyze it into a pigeonhole is not going to “cure” the issue. There are so many more transgender people out there than anyone seems to realize, and it’s not a new thing – it’s been around forever, but now that the world is more interconnected and people can get information instantly, it’s actually out there in the open. And it certainly isn’t because male role models aren’t available – when they are available, either the parents are understanding and try to help their child, or they bully them into submitting to the standard socially accepted norm until they hide their nature in misery. So, try as people might to explain it away and rationalize the cause, it’s not the answer. And unless someone knows a brain surgeon that can alter the alleles in the brain and fix them to the actual physical gender of the sex organs, it’s not going to fix it. Unless a brain surgeon can find out what causes the brains of transgender children to be physically altered and when it happens (whether in utero or in the first stages of a child’s life), it’s not a “fixable” issue. Who knows, maybe it’s the chemicals we ingest in our foods, but that doesn’t explain the fops of yesteryear.

    • I didn’t state that the reason children become transgender is because they come from homes without dads. I wondered why these stories don’t include dads. I’m sure there are transgender kids from “normal” homes. Why do they not make the news?
      Having a mom and dad doesn’t guarantee no problems whatsoever.
      If a child has the capacity to understand and comprehend their gender at age 2, 3, 7, then why are they treated as minors until 18? Why aren’t they responsible for all their actions? I get that is different from understanding right from wrong but doesn’t that indicate a thought process that is fully developed? If not fully developed, then how can they be sure of their gender when they have yet to reach maturity?

  2. PS, my children didn’t grow up around their father past 3 and 1 years old, because he was a drunk that put our lives in danger regularly, and I have minor contact with him now, just in the past few months, and it’s completely obvious that his influence would have killed at least one of the 3 of us over the years. He wasn’t a part of the life of his oldest son with his girlfriend before me, and when he reappeared in that kid’s life a few years ago, the kid moved in with him. Now my ex is still an alcoholic, can’t take care of himself much less anyone else, has always lived off of others (except for a few months with me, and everything was in my name, so yeah), and has been in and out of jail and basically run himself into the ground – I don’t know how he’s still alive and walking. Well, anyway, his oldest son was upset over a girl, and because my ex had alcohol and serious prescription meds in his home, this boy went and od’ed. With his father there in the same house passed out in another room. Does that sound like having a father around was a great idea for him?
    And yes, my children didn’t have their father around, but my oldest is transgender, and my youngest is not. And they both had their grandfather around as a positive, strong male role model. We’ve been living with my parents since they were that 3 and 1 years old. My youngest was telling us he was a boy (born girl) for at least a YEAR before I left their dad, at about 2 years old! (Old enough to convey it to us.) We fought it over many, many years, but that was just not happening. By the time he was 9, it was ANETHMA for me to say, “Come on, girls, lets…(whatever we were doing)” in public. My child fought it tooth and nail. There was no doubt after all those years that my child was going to be male if it killed him.
    So, I know of which I speak. There you have it. First hand knowledge from a reader.

  3. bet this little guy would be good looking with a nice haircut,and a good example to follow. If this is in Boston,I’m sorry to say,it does not surprise me. Again,what kind of role model does he have?

  4. Excuse me, I mistyped. My OLDEST, not my YOUNGEST, was telling us he was a boy, not the youngest.

  5. Really? Boston? That has nothing to do with it. It could be San Francisco or Seattle, it really doesn’t matter. I’m telling you, it’s not about role models. Get that assumption right on out of here, because I’ve been battling this for years with my child. It has NOTHING to do with it. My kid’s grandfather is a fine, upstanding citizen and a GREAT male role model – didn’t change a thing.

  6. There’s another comment I’d like to make regarding a commenter in the article, where the person wonders how the Girl Scouts would feel, and how confusing it might be. Well, unless they plan on pulling down his pants and looking for a penis, how the heck is anyone going to see the difference if this child lives as a girl? I mean, is that standard practice in Girl Scouts? Uh, NO! Kids are usually pretty accepting until some mean spirited or genuine busy body of a person says, oh, by the way, that’s not a girl! Yeah, that is really helpful.

  7. In my eyes, it’s the adults that have the biggest problem. Children learn the prejudices of the adults. That’s usually the way in any situation.

  8. Ok Grouchyoldfogie, how about your phd? We’ve been to psychs and counselors. I’ve read countless documents and research. I have been through it with my child, I’ve met many others who’ve lived it, and there’s a lot to learn if one has a mind to. Or, you can keep your eyes wide shut and just keep ridiculing. When it comes to this, I know. I’ve seen. I’ve discussed. I’ve researched. I’m not the only one.

  9. DCG, you make a good point – there are plenty of stories out there of children that were raised in “normal” homes with male role models. There’s a woman who talks about what she went through with her son that killed himself. He had a dad. They just aren’t as sensationalized – it’s not good press. They’re out there. There may be those that don’t really fully realize their gender. However, that’s why there are counselors and psychologists to help them through. Parents don’t have all the answers. I knew one child that thought she was a transgender female to male that was gay (yes, that would be confusing). But even if they don’t have the full maturity to understand it all, when, as they grow older, it becomes more and more of a sure thing, and there’s no waffling about it whatsoever, there’s a pretty good bet that they’re not turning back. My child is now 18, and has told me many times over the years – If I ever had to be forced to be a girl, I’d definitely not want to live. It’s heartwrenching.

    • That was my comment about being a Girl Scout having to interact with boys at our meetings. Growing up, I never knew a boy that lived as a girl. That didn’t happen as they were wired different. I don’t need a guy to pull down his pants – the voice, face, mannerisms give it away.
      I’m glad your son didn’t commit suicide yet still don’t understand how a child, or baby, has the capacity to fully comprehend gender identity as an adult would. Kids have plenty of problems growing up and there are plenty that contemplate suicide – whether transgender or not.

  10. I did have someone point out to me once before that technically, they are called transexuals. Transgender encompasses a larger scope including cross-dressing and etc. I really feel sorry for people born with both sex organs, because they have to choose or hide. They can’t help it any more than someone who’s brain doesn’t match the organs, but they do have one trait in common – they usually know what they feel they should be inside.

    • This is a very difficult situation. I’ve told this story before when the issue came up here. Years ago my neighbor’s step-daughter.Laura, was a favorite babysitter when my boys were little. Laura was about 13-14 when she babysat for me. She was born with both male and female organs. The doctors asked the parents whether they wanted a boy or a girl and performed the requested surgery to make her a girl with instructions to follow up with endocrine therapy before puberty. Laura’s biological mother did not follow-through with the recommended medical care and Laura started the growth spurt common in 12 year old boys and she was a natural “tomboy”. When she moved in with her biological father and stepmother they immediately got her into endocrine therapy. I’ve often wondered what happened to her. She’d be about 50 years old now. I hope she’s had a good life and is happy.

  11. The hardest part? Knowing that they want to live as the gender they feel, without all the attention (negative usually) that it garners if people know – he just wants to be himself and get on with life.

  12. I would like to address the question of how children can understand their gender identity at such young ages.
    It’s simply a feeling. A biological male who is not transgendered will feel like a male. He will know all his life that he is a boy and he would be expected to know this as a young child. If he told you he was a boy nobody would question him, simply because of his body.
    A biological female who IS trans (such as myself), will have the same feelings as the boy mentioned above. The feelings are often overwhelming due to the fact that girls and boys are divided and treated differently from the first day of school if not before, and being treated as a female might seem absurd or totally wrong and humiliating to a transboy.
    Of course, all transpeople are different and have different feelings, but that was just an example of how many would feel.
    I admire children who are brave enough to come out at such an early age.

  13. So the Girl Scouts flip flop to let this boy in what about the girls who are already there do they get a say? If they are uncomfortable and don’t want to be around this “MALE” child do we force them to accept him? I got an idea every Wednesday night will be tolerance night, instead of watching a fun movie, it will be about understanding your new male-wish to be female-scout. if the parents pull their child out do we chase them down like rabid animals plaster their faces all over liberal television and make them feel guilty?

  14. This how Obama was first recognized?

  15. Apparently, this is really trendy right now…
    “Jenna Lyons, You and J. Crew Wanted Your Son to Stop Being Such a Boy,” by Keith Ablow, Fix News, 26 Oct 2011
    “Jenna Lyons, J.Crew Executive Who Featured Son in Controversial Ad Reportedly Divorcing Husband for Woman,” by Fox News, 26 Oct 2011
    Hmm, interesting… you do the math.

  16. Fathers are being increasingly marginalized in today’s society.
    You can thank Bella Abzug and her feminazi movement.

  17. 5 years ago, I left some comments here about a subject that touches someone dear to me. I felt very strongly about the content. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize back then that this blog is readily available for public viewing, and I would really like to ask if there’s any way after all this time that you might consider deleting my comments, as I obviously can’t. I thought it was a closed forum for those who came to Fellowship of the Minds and signed in. Now that I see it’s searchable, I’d really rather not hurt my loved one. I’ve become a bit more internet savvy over the years, but back then, I didn’t realize this would be an issue. I am sincerely hoping you might be able to remove my comments, please. After 5 years and only 20 comments, I am hoping it’s not pertinent to keep them. I’d appreciate it!


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