And In Sports Today…..

The coach put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing missing was a good quarterback. He scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn’t find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

One night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yds away.
He threw another grenade 75 yds away, right into a chimney.
Then he threw another one at a passing car – going 90 mph.
BULLSEYES. Every one of them.

“I’ve got to get this guy,” Coach said to himself. “He has the perfect arm.”
So, he brings him to the states and teaches him the great game of football, and, the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, he only wants to call his mother.

“Mom,” he says into the phone, “I just won the Super Bowl!”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” the old Muslim woman says. “You are not my son.”

“I don’t think you understand, Mother,” the young man pleads. “I’ve won the greatest sporting event in the world. I’m here among thousands of adoring fans.”

“No, let me tell you!” his mother retorts. “At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn’t get raped.” The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, “I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago .”

~Steve~                                     H/T Reader Ken L.

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7 years ago

Good one… I got it a couple of weeks ago… but worth it again and so true…

7 years ago

Too, too true! My dad got fed up w/the windy city in 1958, so after he & I drove west to check out the wilds of Bellevue, WA, he had my mum sell the house, pack up and, w/my sisters, join us. I think once a city “grows” beyond 150,000 residents, it becomes an entropic back hole which nothing can resist for long.

7 years ago

The wife and I left in ’85 . One of our better decisions . Only thing I miss is the deep-dish pizza . Can’t find a pizza worth a damn in N.E. Ga .

7 years ago
Reply to  Steve

If you are in the Daytona Beach area , here’s a tip . Get on Speedway Blvd . and head for the track . Right across the street from the track in a little strip mall is a pizza-parlor named Uno’s . The owners are from Chicago I’m pretty sure and from what I’ve heard they have the real deal . Been to the track 3 times but could never get in the restaurant . TOO CROWDED , that’s a good sign ! There is an Uno’s in downtown Chicago also .

7 years ago
Reply to  japoa

Agreed, that REALLY great-tasting pizzas –easily found in NY city, SF, and Chicago– are difficult to find. The flour used is a BIG part of it, as well as how it’s handled. I find the same w/baguettes and artisan breads: they are best when the flour is primo primo! By the bye, I meant to write “an entropic black hole” above; however, my gaffe may have revealed a better description by innuendo…. I’m surprised that our sharp-eyed Steve hasn’t razzed me about it yet!

7 years ago
Reply to  josephbc69

I agree that the flour is a big part of it, but you also have to use whole milk mozzarella.
That part-skim stuff just doesn’t cut it.

7 years ago
Reply to  Dave

Full fats are always best, as per the Creation. As Dr John A Thompson explained to me 35 yrs ago [he lived to 102], we need to eat foods just as they are, NOT as we remake stuff into something the seller CLAIMS is food. Margarine is NOT food, nor are ANY processed crapola stuff out there. Get a copy of “Nourishing Traditions” and find out that yer grandma was ALWAYS right! Eat butter, GRASS-FED beef, eggs, LOTS of veggies [the best are raised by you!], don’t worry about salt –but don’t overdo it– and drink at least 2 glasses… Read more »