And I Love My Dog Too.

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“Next.”
 
“Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license.”
 
“Names?”
 
“Tim and Jim Jones.”
 
“Jones?? Are you related?? I see a resemblance.”
 
“Yes, we’re brothers.”
 
“Brothers?? You can’t get married.”
 
“Why not?? Aren’t you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?”
 
“Yes, thousands. But we haven’t had any siblings. That’s incest!”
 
“Incest? No, we are not gay.”
 
“Not gay?? Then why do you want to get married?”
 
“For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other.”
 
“But we’re issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who’ve been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman.”
 
“Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I’m straight doesn’t mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim.”
 
“And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?”
 
“All right, all right. I’ll give you your license. Next.”
 
“Hi. We are here to get married.”
 
“Names?”
 
“John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson.”
 
“Who wants to marry whom?”
 
“We all want to marry each other.”
 
“But there are four of you!”
 
“That’s right. You see, we’re all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship.”
 
“But we’ve only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples.”
 
“So you’re discriminating against bisexuals!”
“No, it’s just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it’s just for couples.”
 
“Since when are you standing on tradition?”
 
“Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere.”
 
“Who says?? There’s no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!”
 
“All right, all right. Next.”
 
“Hello, I’d like a marriage license.”
 
“In what names?”
 
“David Deets.”
 
“And the other man?”
 
“That’s all. I want to marry myself.”
 
“Marry yourself?? What do you mean?”
 
“Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return.”
 
“That does it!? I quit!!? You people are making a mockery of marriage!!”
~Steve~                             H/T     hujonwi
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0 responses to “And I Love My Dog Too.

  1. I didn’t know if the subject of the email would make it through… but what’s next… I’m kinda twisted in that way…

     
  2. Absolutely priceless! Hey, what’s scary is the fact that I believe this!!!

     
  3. This is a joke, but just wait: Everything in this joke will come true. Soon. If it hasn’t already.
    See: http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com/2013/07/10/bestiality-just-a-lifestyle-choice-germanys-bestiality-brothels-and-erotic-zoos/

     
  4. Satire is such a beautiful thing . Steve , you must have Limbaugh genes , demonstrating the absurd with absurdity .

     
  5. How sad this this satire will most assuredly come to pass–“After all, it’s all about who you love.” We all know that when it this is the reasoning anything is fair game. I was thinking I would like to get a female maltese puppy (and no I am not into bestiality) but I think it would be nice to be able to “claim two dependents” when filing my income tax. After all, if it’s all about love, than this scenario should not be outside the realm of acceptability.

     
  6. I guess I left out the most important thing–I would want to “marry” my new puppy.

     
  7. i agree with steve this is probably just the tip of the iceberg i was thinking the exact same words

     

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