Actor Hoffman who died from heroin overdose wrote of “demons” in diaries

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In my post of Aug. 26, 2012, “Psychiatric nurse says half of patients have a spiritual affliction,” I wrote:

It is partly through our faculty of reason that God protects us, so any activity that impairs our mind and will is a threat to the integrity of our selfhood. Any activity that involves an abandonment of self-control can provide an opening to the demonic. Since nature abhors a vacuum, the invitation is extended for something or someone to enter in to fill the void. In that light, it is interesting that an Alcoholics Anonymous counselor once told FOTM’s Joan that a recovering alcoholic’s mental age is much less than his chronological age; it is the individual’s biological age when he first began drinking. In other words, the person was not really present during the alcohol-soaked years, which raises the troubling question of who — or what — was there instead.

Why is it that when alcoholics or drug addicts say they’re fighting or struggling with “demons,” we don’t take them at their word?

The latest example is actor Philip Seymour Hoffman, winner of an Academy Award for his portrayal of the writer Truman Capote in a 2005 movie, who died of a heroin overdose on Feb. 2, 2014.

Philip Seymour Hoffman

A friend found Hoffman’s body in the actor’s Manhattan apartment, with a syringe still in his arm. Hoffman was only 46 years old. He left an unmarried partner, costume designer Mimi O’Donnell, and three children they had together, ages 5, 7, and 10.

Since a young age, Hoffman had abused drug, alcohol, and in his words, “anything I could get my hands on. I liked it all.” After graduating from college at age 22, he went to rehab for drug and alcohol addiction, but relapsed more than 20 years later with heroin and addiction to prescription medications. In May 2013, he checked himself into a drug rehab for about 10 days. He was also attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings in New York.

Richard Esposito reports for NBC News, Feb. 11, 2014, that when police searched Hoffman’s apartment, they found 49 full bags of heroin, 23 empty bags of heroin, four bags of white powder believed to be cocaine, various prescription drugs, and two small diaries — one measuring about 6 by 8 inches and another approximately 7 by 9 inches.

Those diaries reveal a man who was troubled by “demons” and struggled to control them.

According to multiple sources familiar with the diaries’ contents, the hand-scrawled entries make reference to drug deals, to the actor’s struggle with his “demons,” and his attempt to stay clean by attending Narcotics Anonymous meetings.

But the diaries are also hard to read, with scribbled lines, and sentences that run into each other. The handwriting sometimes starts out clearly and then becomes illegible, as if he had written parts of the diaries while high.

Sources say “It’s stream of consciousness and difficult to follow. In one line he refers to ‘Frank who always owes money’ and on the same page he writes about a 15-year-old girl from Texas”; and “It seems he did at least part of it in rehab. It definitely contained some soul-searching. But there is also a fair amount of rambling that doesn’t make sense.”


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0 responses to “Actor Hoffman who died from heroin overdose wrote of “demons” in diaries

  1. pharmakia is a spirit no?

  2. Thank you Dr. Eowyn for this important post. The struggle people have with alcohol and drugs is a formidable one, and one that invites evil particularly because people are so vulnerable, since they have lost themselves temporarily to addictions. I feel so badly for Hoffman’s wife and children. I will say a prayer for them and for Mr. Hoffman, that God grants him mercy.

  3. I don’t mean to bring up a shallow issue, but how many people thought he was older than his age by as much as a decade?

  4. Add to the drugs and alcohol the surrendering of one’s own Christian nature as one assumes the character of who knows what in the script. Acting makes such a great demand on the soul, only special people survive.

  5. Supposedly Hoffman was clean for 23 years. I rather tend to doubt that. Not in the environment he was in. He supposedly loved his family but …. not enough to legitimize his relationship with the mother of his three children. What do they call children born out of wedlock? Oh yeah, bastards. There’s a loving father for you.

    So we have another self absorbed individual fresh out of rehab found assuming room temperature with a heroin spike sticking out of his arm. Dumb ass.

    Hollywood mourns the loss of yet another star; the same Hollywood that celebrates the exact kind of relationship that spawns bastards, glamorizes pornography and drug abuse and makes gazillions of dollars in the process.

    Wake me when it’s over.

  6. Also it should be noted narcotics anonymous “narconon” wouldn’t be of any help, especially for spiritual matters, since it is a spyentology front organization, spyentology that is directly related to aleister crowley’s O.T.O. etc. It is curious though, both hoffman and Shirley Temple are now deceased, one wonders if they knew anything of “anything”… so to speak.

    *name of occultic satanist organization altered to make sure no shills go googling and try to make trouble here.

    • Hollyweirdos seem to die in sets of three.

    • Seumas, you got me on this one. I just googled O.T.O. since I never heard of it and how the heck is that connected to N.A.?

      • Seams is confusing N.A which is a self governed group of addicted who have self help groups in shitty church basements anonymously with a rehabilitation center that is funded by the scientology religion/cult /corporation /freakshow ,by the name of Narcanon. They are two different things. Both are annoying. Yest one isn’t really trying to hurt people (NA ), they are just pushy know-it-all who claim to have the only answer for getting clean. And often push out new people by chastising the use of medication that actually has a success rate causing many people to go off much needed meds and relapse or die. But they don’t mean to cause harm they’re just ignorant. However Narcanon has facilities in the U.S and Canada and charges very confused people a ridiculous amount of money to suffer through nonmedicated detox which can be fatal and then tries to turn them into scientologists and makes them work there in addition to taking so much of their money. People have been known to be stuck inpatient there for over a year in “treatment” . It has a horrible success rate. And people who I know who went there have had to excape due to traumatic events. Big difference. Both kinda suck. NA can help if you ignore most of the stupid people there. But if you’re a real addict good luck get therapy and meds and go to group therapy. And don’t ever stop. Oh and don’t bother counting your days cause it sets you up for self hatred when you relapse. Just pick yourself up and keep going. Or get methadone until you can get a year away from the lifestyle. Fuck what everyone else says you’re the only one who’s opinion matters.

  7. Pingback: Heroin Use in US Reaches Epidemic Numbers | aliensanddemons

  8. I was googling certain things to see if I could remotely find anyone who may have had a similar experience to what I’ve bad. The word demon(s) was included in my search, however I’m not necessarily just referring to the drug itself as “the demon”, however I also understand that perspective. Anyways long story short from the age of 4, due to multiple surgeries, then going up the typical opiate ladeer from taking lortabs, to crushing them up by 20 at a time and talong them like goodys powders, to snorting oxycontin, to then heroin along with anything else that could be used in my newfound paraphanelia which was at that point the needle…Once again long story short, there’s been many many times where I’ve felt like I’ve done entirely too much, (keep in mind a normal day with lortabs and oxycontin, was 60-70 10mg lortabs, with snorting about 6-8 80mg oxys, so when I say a day where I felt like I’ve done entirely too much, I could also say it was one of those times where I was scared to lay down, during these times, I’ve layed down to go to sleep, once with my now ex-wifes head on my chest while she was asleep, and I’m watching TV, (2 1/2 men) to be exact, and suddenly I feel like I feel into what I can only consider a coma because of how I immediately lost all control of my body, except the ability to breath, (and not to sound obvious that I’m breathing, but I mean I could still force myself to take very deep thorough breathes, but other than that I couldnt move, at this particular instance, my eyes were still “peeled” so on top of being aware of everything I can still see my wife’s head on my chest, and I can still see the tv… This is where I’ve experienced an out of this world feeling of the most intense darkness and horrific sense of “something” approaching me, it was clearly the darkside when talking about angels and demons so to speak, I’ve then been so terrified, still unable to move, but I also have seen them approaching me, laughing at the fact that I’m fighting to come out of it, with once being told, in a yelling stern tone, “STOP fighting it, your not coming back this time”, also to clarify, “seeing the, what I know in my mind to be true, as demons”, by seeing them I mean, you have more of a sense of demonicness and just an overwhelming feeling of darkness that truly can’t be explained to extent, but visually you see something approaching you, (or me I’m this instance) and it looks so terrifying, unlike anything earthly that could even possibly be on the same level of fear, but the only way I can describe the look, is by saying a tall dark figure, that is really unexplainable, as in, there is nothing someone could draw and then have me say, “yep that’s what it looked like”, at all, it is a bigger than normal size, compared to humans, and if I had to explain the look my best, it would be saying that it looked like something scary in sheer black covering, however remember it wasn’t physical so it’s very hard to explain. To boil my story and questions to others down from what I consider facts after things I’ve seen multiple times, this by no means is hallucinations, or bad drugs, if that was the case hallucinations would be anything, not just a battle of good and evil, but my question is, has anyone else had a similar experience where they’ve seen this stuff, (also to clarify the ending of what happened later), would be me praying and praying as I started having an out of body experience by seeing myself, (my soul) being lowered from my physical body, still laying there as before and with intense adrenaline, along with praying for God so intensely in your head, in this one of many examples, that is where, a sense of overwhelming peace, and “okay-ness” came along so strong, as I then saw what looked like tons of tiny white hands, (if you will) that by knowing, sensing, and just having an internal knowledge that is nothing other than God given within you, I knew that these were angel hands of gods pulling me back up from, (my soul being lowered from my body), and as soon as I felt like my soul was right back level with my body, you can say that i, “snapped out of it”, “came to”, “came back from what was or was about to be death” or whatever, but as I jump up pushing my wife off of me, I jump straight to my feet and I cant express how absolutely hysterical I was, screaming, (not yelling), I’m absolutely screaming so terrified and shaking full of intense fear, that this one particular time my wife along with 2 friends that were there were all rubbing my shoulders or whatever it took to even bring me down into a non frantic hysterical terrified state of mind.. once again this has happened more than once, and in my personal beliefs, as far as whether there is a God or devil or angels or demons, don’t exist, and hear me out, because a belief to me seems more like a thought or an opinion, I’ve never been the religious type but after what I’ve went through, I am 100% sure there is nothing anyone can tell me to make me think this is just a bad dose, or hallucinations, or whatever.. (I know exactly what the fuck I seen).. I’m very curious to know if anyone can relate or has something they’ve experienced like this, for years I felt crazy to even bring it up, and before hearing ghost stories, or anything of that nature i was the first to think that was bullshit, but I truly would appreciate if anyone would respond and let me know if they’ve ever been through anything similar. You can email me at if you’d like also and I’d greatly appreciate it, and because of how much spam I get, maybe in the subject line write something so I’ll know it’s not junkmail, such as THREAD REPLY, or FELLOWSHIP, anything relative, thanks in advance..

    • Brian,

      You are not the only one who’s experienced demonic attack. My best friend’s Godson and his then-girl friend actually saw a demon (in the form of a dark shape) attacking him. Then a fallen-away Catholic, the young man returned to God. Though Jewish, his girl friend, now his wife, converted to Catholicism, despite the objections and ostracism of her Jewish family. They now are the devout parents of 4 children.


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