On February 13, wearing a low-cut, see-through, sans-underwear gown, unfunny comedienne Amy Schumer, 36, niece of Demonrat senator Chuck Schumer (NY), married Chris Fischer, 36, in a “secret ceremony”.
They had known each other for only three months before their wedding.
During a podcast interview on the SiriusXM show, You Up with Nikki Glaser, Schumer articulately informed the public about their wedding vows (ENews):
“Mine sucked! I thought mine were good, I wrote mine in like, 20 minutes. I was crying when I wrote them, but his blew me out of the water so hard.
In my vows I go, ‘But I promise I’ll keep going down on you, even though everyone tells me I won’t.’ And his were like, heckling me too. He was like, ‘The other day I lost a tennis match and you called me a f–king loser.’ It was all like, awful sh-t.
All his stories about me that were supposed to be endearing were about me screaming at him. I just annoy him all day. I’ll be like, ‘Do you want to play a game?’ and he’s like, ‘What?’ And I’m like, ‘Guess how many times I sneezed today?’ And like, that’ll be the game. And he’ll be like, ‘Three.’ And I’ll be like, ‘Don’t remember!’ And he’s like, ‘I’m spending my life with this worthless monster?'”
A lifetime of BJs from Amy Schumer surely must be one of Dante’s circles of Hell.
- Amy Schumer declares on TV she would perform oral sex on lesbian Lily Tomlin
- Amy Schumer fights for tougher gun laws after ‘Trainwreck’ shooting
- List of Hollyweirdos who say they’ll leave U.S. if Trump is elected