Classy: Amy Schumer’s wedding vow is to give her husband BJs

On February 13, wearing a low-cut, see-through, sans-underwear gown, unfunny comedienne Amy Schumer, 36, niece of Demonrat senator Chuck Schumer (NY), married Chris Fischer, 36, in a “secret ceremony”.

They had known each other for only three months before their wedding.

During a podcast interview on the SiriusXM show, You Up with Nikki Glaser, Schumer articulately informed the public about their wedding vows (ENews):

“Mine sucked! I thought mine were good, I wrote mine in like, 20 minutes. I was crying when I wrote them, but his blew me out of the water so hard.

In my vows I go, ‘But I promise I’ll keep going down on you, even though everyone tells me I won’t.’ And his were like, heckling me too. He was like, ‘The other day I lost a tennis match and you called me a f–king loser.’ It was all like, awful sh-t.

All his stories about me that were supposed to be endearing were about me screaming at him. I just annoy him all day. I’ll be like, ‘Do you want to play a game?’ and he’s like, ‘What?’ And I’m like, ‘Guess how many times I sneezed today?’ And like, that’ll be the game. And he’ll be like, ‘Three.’ And I’ll be like, ‘Don’t remember!’ And he’s like, ‘I’m spending my life with this worthless monster?'”

A lifetime of BJs from Amy Schumer surely must be one of Dante’s circles of Hell.

See also:

~Eowyn

46 responses to “Classy: Amy Schumer’s wedding vow is to give her husband BJs

  1. 1) guy looks 66, not 36

    2) she’s got 20 pounds on him. Maybe more

    3) beard?

    Liked by 7 people

  2. Do we care OMG what is it about people who seems they have a need to tell everyone about their sex habits. When will the America I knew growing come back home? You turn on the internet or the TV or the radio it don’t matter any more its vulgar inappropriate and hard enough to be parents and inform your children what Gods plan for a man and woman is with out the media spewing vulgar junk like this. Not a prude but there is a time and place.

    Liked by 4 people

    • That’s how she gets her Jew “cred”. Just like Silverman. They like to shock and make fun of Goy cultural conventions. They really like it when they can get the Goyim to laugh at their insults.

      This must run in the family. Chuckie Schumer’s niece? Wow!

      Liked by 3 people

    • That’s what I thought last night when, surfing through cable, I hit WGN’s new show, “Bellevue”… every third word was “F” this or that or whatever else.

      And a guy attacked a woman in her office; I thought she was a shrink and he a patient, but turns out he’s the police chief. Don’t know who she was to him.

      I quickly turned it off. I SERIOUSLY thought of calling to immediately cancel my cable subscription, which I’m planning to do soon anyway when they raise my rates. But I went to WGN’s website instead to complain… but all they offered was an email address, and I decided against giving them permission to then spam me or worse (turn me over to retribution spammers for calling them out on their vile show).

      I’ve NEVER seen nor heard such foul content before on my TV… I only get basic channels (locals, CSpan, EWTN, TBN, HSN/QVC, …and WGN).

      Liked by 4 people

  3. What do you get from crossing a Shumer and a Fischer? A f*ng white trash in Jew fashion

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Indeed they are, at least they didn’t go out of their heritage – I should have worded “a Shumer and a Fischer, the making of trash in Jew fashion”.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. What a filthy subhuman. This trailer trash is exactly among the people mentioned in the Bible in the Book of Revelation when Jesus spoke of this group of people. He was quoted saying certain people claiming to be Jews but are not. Rather they are of the Synagogue of Satan. Perfect analogy.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I’m disgusted with the human race…..if anyone out there considers Schumer part of it, that is.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. Well ask yourself if Liberalism is a mental condition and what can be done to cure it. My recommendation, frontal lobotomy.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. She should have “married” Sarah Silverman or Lena Dunham. Filthy, evil scum. They should have died out in The Flood.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. The gif at the end (of Steve Carrol) was the perfect finishing touch. I think he speaks for all of us…

    Liked by 4 people

  10. How long until the divorce?

    Liked by 3 people

  11. Her kind understand that that sort of talk is deadly serious business in their homicidally motivated war against Christians, as well as letting off steam by joking about their atrocious sexual and anti-social behavior. It’s all part of a piece—they know it while stupid goys treat these cultural-moral genocidaires as the victims no less. As for the speculation about their “tastes,” it’s a safe bet the marriage is some form of beard-and-handbaggery. These people are to be pitied. What losers.

    Liked by 4 people

  12. Just as classy as her Uncle Chuck.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I’m fairly sure he can plead temporary insanity and recieve an annulment.

    Liked by 4 people

  14. I guess he can always close his eyes & think of some dude while she’s going down on him.

    Liked by 3 people

  15. It comes as no surprise that they only knew each other for three months before marrying. If either had known the other loser for any longer, they might have thought it over and ran away in terror.

    Correct me here if I am mistaken, but I seem to remember learning once long ago that the true Jews, those whose bloodline is pure, will in the end times, know from which tribe they are from, somehow. And that for now, since they have no way of knowing that, knowing for certain if someone is of Jewish descent is problematic. Because I am certain that in the end times, God has a covenant with the Jews and therefore a special place in His heart for them. For now, since they rejected Him, He has rejected them, and opened His salvation up to the Gentiles. But at the end times, which are getting closer with each passing day, God will draw both the saved Gentiles, and the true Jews to Himself.

    Help me here, Bible experts, I have a migraine, and am drawing a blank.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I think the short answer is, as to “bloodline” you’d be hard-pressed to find a real Jew. As to God’s “special” relationship with Jews, they rejected Christ’s gospel. There is always the hope that they will repent and accept baptism.

      What passes for “Jews” these days are Ashkenazi’s from the Russian Steppes. They “converted” from being Penis Worshippers in the 9th Century. Maybe this helps explain why they seem so intent on getting all they can in their present life.

      Liked by 3 people

    • “I am certain that in the end times, God has a covenant with the Jews and therefore a special place in His heart for them.”

      Why? Why would God the Father continue to have as His “chosen people” those who killed, continue to reject His only Son, and call Him, in their Talmud, a “bastard” and “charlatan” who is boiling in sh*t in Hell? Is God a masochist?

      “Whoever hates me also hates my Father.” -John 15:23
      “This cup that is poured out for you is the new covenant in my Blood, which will be shed for you.” -Luke 22:20
      “In speaking of a new covenant, He makes the first one obsolete.” -Hebrews 8:13

      Liked by 2 people

      • In Romans chapter 11, God talks about how the Jews were tossed aside, and the Gentiles were grafted in their place, due to their blindness. Then in the end times He will take away their sins. We know that now in New Testament times, the only method to take away sins is through the shed blood of Christ, so I believe that in some way God will work and have all the Jews accept Jesus as the Messiah. It is quite plain, at least to me, and I think it is one of the more important passages of the New Testament concerning the Jews. But you take a look and get back to me, since I have been known to be wrong, on more than one occasion.

        24 For if thou wert cut out of the olive tree which is wild by nature, and wert grafted contrary to nature into a good olive tree: how much more shall these, which be the natural branches, be grafted into their own olive tree?

        25 For I would not, brethren, that ye should be ignorant of this mystery, lest ye should be wise in your own conceits; that blindness in part is happened to Israel, until the fulness of the Gentiles be come in.

        26 And so all Israel shall be saved: as it is written, There shall come out of Sion the Deliverer, and shall turn away ungodliness from Jacob:

        27 For this is my covenant unto them, when I shall take away their sins.

        28 As concerning the gospel, they are enemies for your sakes: but as touching the election, they are beloved for the father’s sakes.

        29 For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance.

        30 For as ye in times past have not believed God, yet have now obtained mercy through their unbelief:

        31 Even so have these also now not believed, that through your mercy they also may obtain mercy.

        32 For God hath concluded them all in unbelief, that he might have mercy upon all.

        Like

      • ABSOLUTELY true, and why both Sams warned me as a 10 yr old to beware of IsraHell and the Zionazis who claim to be true Torah Jews: they are Hell’s spawn.

        Like

  16. Will someone PLEASE tell Amy Schumer she is no longer RELEVANT?

    Liked by 2 people

  17. I bet uncle UpChuck is really proud.

    Liked by 1 person

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