In the name of inclusivity: Girls can’t say no to boys at elementary school dance

dr jeff stephens weber school district superintendent

Dr. Jeff Stephens, Superintendent of Weber School District in Utah

Apparently, a girl can’t turn down a dance because they will hurt someone’s feeeeeeelings. What a mixed message this school is sending to young girls.

From KCRG: (via CNN) — A Utah mom is upset about a school policy in which sixth grade girls can’t say “no” when boys ask them to dance. The mom says it sends the wrong message to the young students.

“Oh no, no honey. You guys are misunderstanding again. That`s not how it is,” said Natalie Richard.

When Richards sixth grade daughter told her she couldnt say no if a boy asked her to dance at Kanesville Elementarys valentines day dance, she didnt believe it at first. <strong>"The teacher said she cant. She has to say yes. She has to accept and I said excuse me?”

So Richard took her concerns to the school principal. “He basically just said theyve had this dance set up this way for a long time and theyve never had any concerns before,” Richard said.

Lane Findlay with the Weber School District confirms its a rule, but <em>its meant to teach students how to be inclusive.

“Please be respectful, be polite. We want to promote kindness and so we want you to say yes when someone asks you to dance,” said Findlay.

“I do see it from their perspective when it comes to that but there are many other ways to teach children how to be accepting than with a social dance,” Richard said.

Richard says forcing students not to say no teaches them the wrong lesson. “Sends a bad message to girls that girls have to say yes. Sends a bad message to boys that girls will – can`t say no,” Richard said.

Prior to the dance, which is voluntary, students are told to fill out a card, selecting five people they want to dance with. And the administration says if there`s someone on the card you feel uncomfortable with, the student is encouraged to speak up.

“If there is an issue, if theres students that are uncomfortable or have a problem with another student I mean thats certainly something that can be addressed with that student and parents,” said Findlay.

But Richard says rejection is part of life and at the end of the day, this policy is sending impressionable children the wrong message.

“Psychologically my daughter keeps coming to me and saying I cant say no to a boy. Thats the message kids are getting,” she said.


Contact Dr. Jeff Stephens of the Weber School District here.

h/t lophatt

DCG

45 responses to “In the name of inclusivity: Girls can’t say no to boys at elementary school dance

  1. The patients are running the asylum in Utah.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. So, did they consult great progressive figure Harvey Weinstein on this one?

    Liked by 5 people

  3. Congratulations, Superintendent Jeff Stephens! You’ve just opened the school district, i.e., taxpayers, to a slew of lawsuits.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Dr Eowyn . . . . I hope that there would be parents who would enlist the help of one of the “freedom based” law centers . . . and sue the buttons off this school district. This is just so gross. When you teach young girls that they “must say yes”. . . . . after previously teaching them in the Primary Grades that “they should speak up and tell someone “NO!!” when that person invades their personal space. . . It must be pretty dog gone confusing to a little sixth grade girl. Sixth graders, at least in my day and age were not paring off to dance . . . . it is little wonder kids today are promiscuous at age 11-12.

      This school administrator, as good intentioned as he may be, is dead wrong!! He is going to get an earful from me! Thanks for the contact info.

      Liked by 4 people

  4. No problem. After all, what could possibly go wrong? (sarc)

    Liked by 4 people

  5. Warped

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Kind a reminds me of some thing I read a while back, perhaps in the “Book of Jasher”, or one of the gnostic gospels or writings that I can not recall. It spoke of sodom and gomorrah, in which it was not permitted for any one to refuse any proposition from any one.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kevin . . . . I am blown away by the comments you made above referring to Sodom and Gomorrah, . . .”it was not permitted for anyone to refuse any proposition from any one.” This leaves very little room in my mind but what God was absolutely correct to wipe all of the people off the face of the Earth. When people begin to believe that this kind of perverted thinking is correct, it would no doubt lead any survivors to carry with them this “perverted way of thinking, and thus infect any new areas that they might choose to settle in.” I have always though that in this instance, God was certainly quite harsh, but having his new revelation shows why the utter destruction of all the people who believed in such evil doing was necessary–so that they could not teach these evil ways to other generations of people..

      Kevin . . . Thank you for broadening my horizon. It is much appreciated.

      Liked by 3 people

  7. Pingback: In the name of inclusivity: Girls can’t say no to boys at elementary school dance — Fellowship of the Minds – NZ Conservative Coalition

  8. It isn’t rape if you consent (or they’re Muslim!). What’s the message for daughters. “Dad isn’t safe to go to a dance with. Never reject a stranger?”.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Fathers are banned but random little boys aren’t? Because be polite by force?

    This reminds me of how some parents always forced childhood playmates of mine to apologize to their siblings. Even when they weren’t sorry, they had to “say it”. And I always asked, “why? What’s the point? You totally destroy the legitimacy and value of an apology if it’s forced.” The parents even argued, “Because I ORDERED my children to apologize SINCERELY, it’s sincere!”

    Way to grow your sheep. Turns out, that’s more or less what most of them became. I know they’d probably tell me I’m a demoniac or a terrorist for believing stuff like 9/11 and Pizzagate and just about anything else true. OR visiting questionable sites. Like this one. But hey, at least whenever I said “I’m sorry”, it was sincere. Unless it was to my Mother. She didn’t accept apologies for sins twice or without physical demonstration of remorse.

    That woman, she looks more wise each day.

    Of course, this school dance has a sexual connotation. Will they do this at Middle and High School next? What happens if a transgender wants to dance, and proposition? Don’t expect that too far into the future!

    Liked by 5 people

    • In the Middle East they don’t dance (except alone or with another woman). As to deviants, you can expect a LOT of that. If they’re of a different race its even more complicated.

      They are defining what The State accepts. The individual no longer exists (as you point out in your comments). They are saying “you MUST offer yourself even if you don’t wish to”.

      It isn’t just a “dance”. It is a metaphor.

      Liked by 3 people

      • lophatt . . . . You have brought up some further very important aspects of this dilemma. As cruel as it may seem, I truly believe that parents who respect the “freedom of choice” among their children . . . will keep them home from this “dance.” I don’t know whether this dance is during the day, or during an evening. If it is during the day, parent’s should write a note having their child excused at such and such a time due to a family matter. Parents should never kneel to the authority to compel their child to do something as wrong as this idea is.

        For goodness sake, when these kids get to high school, and are paring off as couples for various dances . . . are they still going to be compelled to “accept invitations to school functions in order not to hurt someone else’s feelings,” or are they going to go to a dance as a couple, but be “compelled to dance with other attendees, just so that their feelings not be hurt?” This school administrator should go and visit one of the Russian Gulag’s for six months, then let’s see if his thinking has been straightened out!

        Liked by 3 people

    • Eli . . . . Bravo! Well said. Your post was very thoughtful, and I agree 100% with the “transgender question.” No child should be constrained to dance with anyone, for any reason! PERIOD!!!!

      Liked by 2 people

  10. There’s been an update to this issue. Praise God! After I read this article, I sent an email to Dr. Stephens reminding him of the dangerous precedent being set with this policy and the wrong message it would send to our youth. Dr. Stephens’ reply:
    I agree with you! I was not aware that this instruction was being given to students. We met with the principal yesterday and that practice will no longer be in place in the future–including tomorrow’s Valentine’s Dance. Thanks,
    Dr. Jeff Stephens
    Superintendent; Weber School District

    Liked by 4 people

  11. How are kids supposed to learn to deal with rejection????

    Liked by 4 people

  12. I think when i was a kid and we had dances in the school hall if we were asked to dance we had to say yes. I think it’s just old fashioned good manners. You don’t have to go a second time but if your sitting on the sidelines boys were encouraged to ask. It’s just social lubricant i would think.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I don’t remember any such thing when I was a kid. I went to a lot of dances. One was expected not to be a “wall flower” but it wasn’t unusual for a girl to say “no thank you”.

      Besides, to me at least, this isn’t the point. In this case “The State” (in the person of a school) is attempting to exert authority over individuals. We do not need anyone’s permission to say “no”. We do not need assistance with choosing our friends.

      When we are faced with untenable decisions, like we’ve seen recently with the refusal of certain governments to prosecute rape if the perpetrator is a “migrant”, we should not accept that. It is extreme, but it is the same idea.

      These governments, realizing that they don’t work for us, have no authority to enforce the laws selectively or to favor one group over another on a whim. They don’t even ask the parent’s consent on issues any longer. The assumption is that “The State” knows best.

      Liked by 4 people

      • lophatt . . . . Bravo! Thank you for enumerating the voice of reason! Well done. I could not agree more . . . when you mention the travesty the “refusal of certain governments to prosecute rape if the perpetrator is a ‘migrant’, we should not accept that.” I think that for the vast majority of Americans, and the vast majority of the indigent people from European countries . . . this travesty was never envisioned! This is but a modern PC nonsense, that so many people have to live under. It is insane.

        Liked by 3 people

        • Thank you Lulu. I think the question is, what do we do about government officials (who we know don’t work for us even though they’re supposed to), who do these things? So we just accept this and make it acceptable?

          I think they have to go, and immediately.

          Liked by 3 people

      • Fair point

        Liked by 1 person

    • I should add, i was probably about 10 and the dances were not disco moves. They were of the square dancing type. I think it was aimed to build confidence. Like, i seem to recall i never used to want to dance with a boy with eczema on his hands. He would have been crushed if everyone said, “yuck, hell no”.

      Liked by 2 people

  13. Kevin J Lankford

    I can remember learning at a young age what they called a girl who never said “NO”.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kevin J Lankford

      I can not help but consider this as an attempt to force girls at a young age to accept the unwanted advances of persons out side their own race.

      Liked by 3 people

    • Kevin . . . . I certainly agree with you over . . .”what they called a girl who never said ‘No.’ ” As sad as it is to tell this story from many years ago. in fact 1961, when I was a Freshman in high school . . . . there was a young woman, who I now realize was what we would have called “mentally retarded” back then, but now we would call her “developmentally challenged;” A young man took her out and had his way with her after buying her a hamburger and a Coke. Much to his lack of any character, he told the story far and wide . . . . . how he could have sex with her for the price of a “Coke.” As a result, all of the students started calling her “Coke.” All up and down the halls you could hear students call out “Coke,” when they addressed her. My very soul now sees what a filthy, ugly story this is . . . it makes me ashamed to even recall it.

      As an old woman recalling this story, I literally am in tears, what a travesty, what a trespass against her very soul. I pray that life was kinder to Shirley than what was dished out to her when we were in high school. This is probably the saddest of all stories that I remember from my high school years.

      Liked by 3 people

      • Oh my God, That is the saddest thing I have heard like this. I hope that boy paid for it the rest of his life. I hope he was haunted Everytime he closed his eyes.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Glenn47 . . . . I have always hoped that this young man went on to marry, and that one of his children turned out to be a “special needs” child. I just hope that one way or another, he made spiritual reconciliation for this horribly, ugly, sinful episode in his life. In this instance, the sin was not as much on Shirley’s head, as it was on him, since she did not have full comprehension of what was going on. This young man was ever so popular, he was a jock! So many of the students though this was a great lark. If he has not reconciled this act here on the Earth, I have no doubt but what when he stands before the Judgement Bar of God, and has this episode replayed in his mind in full technicolor . . . he will have a full understand of the sinfulness of the initial act, and even more that he would cause the other students to censure Shirley as harshly as they did.

          Liked by 2 people

    • Yeah…..Mom!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I a glad to see where this was reversed. I was wondering why there wasn’t kindness and compassion for the girls being forced into something they were uncomfortable with. Perhaps a guy scares her or is just downright icky? Or she even has a crush on another boy.
    These so called leaders have to stop being helicopter management and let these kids figure out life by themselves.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. This Dr. Stephens is out of his mind! Well, what can I say that hasn’t been said already? Plenty of women said No to me, and, like it or not, that was their perfect right. I, too, have said No to some women, and that was my perfect right.
    This political correctness is going to make imbeciles of us all. If we let it.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Steven . . . . Bravo! Well said . . . unfortunately I think that in one way or another we have all experience rejection. You just have to take it in stride . . . perhaps you did not get the job you wanted, or the guy/gal that you had your eye on. Life is a learning process, sometimes, you do not get that which you think at the time is your greatest desire . . .only to realize later that you got something that prize all the more. If you don’t teach young people in grade school that life truly is the school of hard knocks, then you prime them to abject failure, with no way of recovering from the slings and arrows that come your way.

      Liked by 3 people

  16. Reblogged this on On the Patio and commented:

    It appears to me as if the harangue that when a girl says NO it means NO has just become invalid. Excellent job Doc! You are an idiot! But an idiot with a degree. So it must be valid! Where do we get these “educators” and why are they tolerated? And they get all defensive when they are called out for violating social norms. I can only hope the heat on this Doctor Goombah gets his attention.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. This to me reeks of CONTROL. They must control EVERY aspect of our lives to “Protect” others and their feelings. A dance card must be discussed, ahead of time. Where is the spontaneity, the fun? Dances are hard enough for young people, this would make it unbearable.

    Liked by 1 person

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