Thursday Funnies: Gotta love the South!

yallFlorida

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.  “Amazing,” he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this!” and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding–a reason I’ve never before heard — I’ll let you go.”

The old gentleman paused then said: “Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.

“Have a good day, Sir,” replied the trooper.

Louisiana

A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying … “When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana.”

When asked why, he replied, “I’d rather be in Louisiana ’cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world.”

Mississippi

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, “Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!”

Bubba replied, “Did y’all see who it was?”

The young man answered, “I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number.”

North Carolina

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, “I got a flat tahr.”

The passerby asked, “But what’s with the flowers?”

The man responded, “When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither.”

Texas

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.

The Sheriff asked, “Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch?  Don’t you see that sign right over your head?”

“Yep,” he replied. “That’s why I’m dumpin’ it here, ’cause it says: ‘Fine For Dumping Garbage.’ ”

DCG

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14 responses to “Thursday Funnies: Gotta love the South!

  1. Since this is a funnies post , a little joke for you .
    What’s the difference between a Northern girl and a Southern girl ?
    A Northern girl says ” you can ” , the Southern girl says ………. ( see above )

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Very cute DCG! A good chuckle to start the day!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Great morning laughs! And the winner is … FLORIDUH! That was an ingenious reply to the State Trooper, lol. 😀

    The Louisiana one is great, too. It should be added to your “Anonymous hacker group warns world to prepare for WW3” post! 🙂

    Texas was good, too. You gotta love Texas!

    They’re all good!

    But japoa, nawwwwghty nawwwwghty. 😉

    When I first left Florida in 1975 & drove cross-country, I was still saying Y’ALL. When I reached California where my sister had moved, & did some waitressing for awhile, boy oh boy, did the customers, even visitors from TEXAS, ever make fun of me when asking, “Can I get Y’ALL anything?” I learned very fast to never say Y’ALL again, but switched to “YOU GUYS,” or “You Folks,” etc.

    I never liked “You Guys” but I don’t like “Y’ALL” either. So what other substitutes are there? I guess just “YOU” by itself, which can be singular or plural.

    And I thought Yankee New Yorkers say “YOUZ GUYS” (??)

    Liked by 2 people

  4. DCG . . . you hit it out of the ballpark on these. You brightened my spirits for sure! Bless You.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Last one was awesome, never heard that one before!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Alabama gal laughs with y’all

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I guess as a southern boy I should be offended.

    LOL – But I ain’t.

    Dayem, thems is funny. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Well, all y’all are making this NC gal spit up my coffee…

    Liked by 1 person

  9. What a pleasant way to end my evening. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Say what you will about the South—no one ever retires and moves up North!

    Liked by 1 person

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