Women who engage in casual “hookups” beware.
There is a new, but widespread, sexual practice that some men engage in, called “stealthing” — the male’s surreptitious removal of his condom during coitus, without notifying or obtaining the consent of his sexual partner.
Not only does “stealthing” leave the woman feeling betrayed and violated, which some call “rape-adjacent” or rape by deception, it also renders the woman susceptible to sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unwanted pregnancy.
Alexandra Brodsky of Yale Law School reports this in her article, “‘Rape-Adjacent’: Imagining Legal Responses to Nonconsensual Condom Removal,” Columbia Journal of Gender and Law, Vol. 32, No. 2, 2017.
From interviews with people who have experienced condom removal and online accounts from victims, Brodsky determined that nonconsensual condom removal is a common practice among young, sexually active people. Both men and women have fallen victim to stealthing. Some realized their partner had removed the condom at the moment of re-penetration; others did not realize until the partner ejaculated or, in one case, notified them the next morning.
Internet forums provide not only accounts from victims but encouragement from perpetrators. Promoters provide advice, along with explicit descriptions, for how to successfully trick a partner and remove a condom during sex. “Stealthing is controversial,” writes Mark Bentson, who runs a website dedicated to teaching others how to trick their sexual partners into condom-less sex.
Note: Bentson’s Twitter feed indicates he’s a homosexual, who claims to have sodomized married men. Condomless sex between homosexuals is called “barebacking” — a dangerous practice that’s increasingly favored among young “gay” men. See:
- CDC: 62% of HIV-positive men had unprotected anal sex
- World Health Organization: HIV ‘exploding’ among homosexual men
- Sharp rise in STDs among homosexuals, from casual sex arranged via social media
- Homosexual men risk HIV in ‘sex roulette’ parties
- Syphilis increases by a stunning 232% among homosexual men
So why do some men do this?
From articles and an online sub-community of “stealthing” perpetrators, Brodsky gleaned that the men who engage in this deceptive practice view “stealthing” as their masculine “right” to “breed” — spread and deposit their “seed”.
One commenter on an article about stealthing wrote, “It’s a man’s instinct to shoot his load into a woman’s *****. He should never be denied that right. As a woman, it’s my duty to spread my legs and let a man shoot his load into my wet ***** whenever he wants.” Another defender, commenting on a blog post detailing one man’s “strategy” for stealthing, explained: “Oh I completely agree with this. To me you can’t have one and not the other, if she wants the guy’s **** then she also has to take the guy’s load!!!” One commenter on the blog post asked whether the sexual partners of “stealthers” “deserve to be impregnated,” to which another replied: “Yes, they deserve it. That’s how god created this universe, we are born to do it.”
Men who stealth assault other men display similar rhetoric focused on a man’s “right” to “breed” and spread his seed—even though there is no conceivable way that his semen could ever impregnate another man.
At present, Brodsky knows of no victim of nonconsensual condom removal has considered bringing legal action, and there is no record of a court case in the U.S. But, as Brodsky observes, “Nonetheless, survivors experience real harms—emotional, financial, and physical—to which the law might provide remedy through compensation or simply an opportunity to be heard and validated.”
The rest of Brodsky’s article is on what legal avenues victims of stealthing might take — in criminal law and tort law. She concludes:
“[T]he current legal landscape has failed to send a clear message that nonconsensual condom removal is unethical…. While overlooked by the law, nonconsensual condom removal is a harmful and often gender-motivated form of sexual violence. Remedy may be found under current law, but a new cause of action may promote the possibility of plaintiffs’ success while reducing negative unintended effects. At its best, such a law would clearly respond to and affirm the harm victims report by making clear that ‘stealthing’ doesn’t just ‘feel violent’—it is.”
In the morally corrupt but litigious landscape of American society, the threat of lawsuits and of arrest, if a case of “rape by deception” can be made, are the only ways to punish the perpetrators and curb stealthing.
There is already an international precedent.
Lauren Tousignant of the New York Post points out that in January 2017, a Swiss court convicted a man of rape after he took off his condom without telling his partner. The court concluded that it was rape because the woman would have said no to sex if she knew the man would remove his condom.