A recent study has found that woman who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
Money talks …but all mine ever says is good-bye.
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.
Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!
The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.