Wednesday Funny: Top 10 Shortest Books!

Americans don’t read books anymore.

According to a September 2016 Pew Research survey, more than one in four Americans or 27% said that they didn’t read a single book within the last 12 months.

Well, I have good news for America!

Here are the 10 shortest books in the world which will take you no time at all to read! Then you can tell the pollsters, “Nyah, nyah, I did read a book last year — not one, but many!”

  1. Things I Love About My Country, by Michelle Obama.
  2. My Christian Accomplishments and How I Helped African Americans in the Katrina Disaster, by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton.
  3. Things I Love About Bill, by Hillary Rodham Clinton.
  4. Sequel: Things I Love About Hillary, by William Jefferson Clinton.
  5. Vaccines I Gave My Children, by Bill Gates.
  6. How To Be a Good Catholic, by Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden.
  7. How I Reduced My Carbon Footprint and Stopped Global Warming, by Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio.
  8. My Career As An Honest Reporter, by Brian Williams.
  9. My Plan to Find the Real Killer, by O. J. Simpson and Casey Anthony.
  10. And the shortest book of all is . . . Things I Did to Deserve the Nobel Peace Prize, by Barack Hussein Obama.

H/t FOTM‘s japoa

~Eowyn

Advertisements

20 responses to “Wednesday Funny: Top 10 Shortest Books!

  1. Nice job , the Kennedy one should be in there as a bonus ……..
    ” How to drive over a bridge while sober “

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Great titles!
    How about ‘A Babysitter’s Guide to Proper Childcare’ by John Podesta.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. ” Who’s my Daddy ” by Chelsea Clinton

    Liked by 5 people

  4. I love it!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Oh! My gosh . . . that was wonderful!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Kevin J Lankford

    I’ll wait for the movies to come out.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I sense a spinoff of the caption contest coming!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Reblogged this on free31498 and commented:

    Hump Day Humor, from FOTM’s japoa

    Liked by 1 person

  9. “Why I’m a War Hero” by John McCain
    March 29, 2017 – National Vietnam Veterans’s Memorial Day

    Liked by 2 people

  10. HAHAHA, love them!
    here’s a couple:
    “Planned Parenthood’s guide to prenatal care”
    “How to maintain self control” by Aleister Crowley

    Liked by 2 people

  11. “Raising perfectly poised girls” by Rosie O’Donnald
    “How to be a Svelte Senior” by Michael Moore

    Liked by 2 people

  12. “How Hitler Loved The Jewish People” – by Eva Braun.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Oh my goodness, these all are great.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. ” To all the men I’ve loved before ” co- authored by Rosie O’Donnell and Ellen DeGeneres , forward by Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama .

    Like

  15. ” How to pay your taxes ” by the Rev. Al Sharpton
    ” Pre-natal care ” by Margret Sanger

    Like

  16. ” The correct way to pray to God ” by Anton LeVey

    Like

  17. chivelry is not dead by bill clinton, forward by ted kennedy and gary hart

    Like

  18. Great stuff! Hilarious! 😀

    Add Bob Dylan to #10 above. Didn’t he just get a Nobel Prize for something or other?

    More from the HOW TO Sections of your Favorite Bookstore…

    CAREERS & SUCCESS…

    “How to be a Shadow President when Your Term is Up” by Barrack Barry Hussein Sotero Obama.

    “How to Never Look Nervous While Lying” by James Comey.

    “How to Look & Act Jewish in Business even when You’re Not” by Jeff Bezos.

    “How to Win Friends, Leak Their Secrets, & Influence Enemies” by Katie Walsh.

    “Career Secrets: How to Think & Grow Rich as a Professional Backstabber” by Paul Ryan.

    “How to Succeed in the Intelligence Agencies without Any Intelligence” by Trolls-For-Hire Anonymous.

    From the TRAVEL & LEISURE Section…

    “How to Live as a (RINO) Snowflake in the Mesa, Arizona Desert” by Sperling’s Best Places to Live, co-author Jeff Flake.

    “Best Weekend Get-A-Ways: Jekyll Island, Georgia” by Ben Sasse.

    And from the RELIGION & SPIRITUAL Section…

    “Deep State Mormonism” by Michael Hayden & Evan McMullin.

    From the LGBTQ Section…

    “Transgender Tips & Tricks: How to Hide Your Manhood in Chiffon Dresses” by Michael-Michelle Obama.

    Lastly, from the HEALTH Section…

    “How to have Seven Heart Transplants & Still Die Anyway” by David Rockefeller’s Ghost.

    😀

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s