The bi-gender boy who decides every morning what sex he wants to be

Ryan (l) and Krystal (r)

Ryan (l) and Krystal (r)

DailyMail: Waking beside her boyfriend each morning teenager Krystal Griggs never knows what mood he’ll be in. But rather than predicting good or bad, the 18-year-old has to choose between male or female.For Ryan Wigley is bi-gender. He faces the difficult choice every day of whether to dress as a man or woman.  

While most people need only pick from a selection of dresses, or smart shirts, he has rails full of both. His outfit choice will depend on which gender he has woken up feeling like that day. Half the time the 22-year-old from Kent rouses feeling like a woman, Ria, the other half, he feels totally male. And sometimes, he gets the urge to shift gender during the day.

ryanRyan’s condition is recognised by psychologists and was coined by the transgender community. ‘It’s so confusing,’ he said. ‘I have to guess which gender I’ll be the following morning so I can plan my day. I try to work out how I feel the night before, so if I feel more feminine I’ll have a shower and set my alarm earlier to make sure I have time to get ready.’

‘If I feel like a girl several days in a row, the upkeep can be hard. I need to shave my face, chest and legs every day, wash my hair and keep my make up in place. I feel like I prefer to be female but I’m much more relaxed in what I look like when I feel like a man.’

During the day, Ryan feels the urge to shift gender. ‘If I see a pretty dress in a window, even if I’m in a male mood, I can feel myself standing differently. My mannerisms change,’ he said.

Ryan is attracted to women but says previous partners have struggled to deal with his two sides. In September last year he got together with Krystal, who he’d been introduced to at a party through a mutual friend. Krystal, also from Kent said: ‘He was Ryan that night. We said hello and afterwards I added him on Facebook.’

‘One day he commented on a status using his Ria profile and I recognised her as Ryan. At first I thought it was just cross-dressing, I’d never heard of bi-gender. ‘But he explained it and we didn’t dwell on it.’

After bumping into each other again at a beach party this August, they started a relationship soon after. ‘Ryan was nervous because his exes judged him a bit,’ Krystal said. ‘But I told him I honestly didn’t care. It’s what’s inside that counts. When I saw Ria in female dress in person, my first thought was that she’s beautiful and I tell her that as often as I can. I can’t believe how quickly he goes from male to female so smoothly.

Aged 13, Ryan first had the impulse to wear his mother’s clothes. He said: ‘I was walking down the stairs past some of my mum’s freshly washed clothes on the landing. Grabbing a bra and dress, I ran to the bathroom. I didn’t really have any understanding why at that time. All I knew was that the clothes felt different yet comfortable even though I looked kind of ridiculous. I felt so much guilt but soon I was sneaking into my sister’s room. I knew what she didn’t wear in her wardrobe so I could take dresses without her noticing. I took anything I could fit into, she’s much smaller than me, but one I loved was a black stretchy dress.’

Feeling guilt and embarrassment, Ryan kept that side of him locked up and never left his bedroom in his pretty outfits. ‘I opened up to my first girlfriend at 16, and she was understanding at first,’ he said. ‘But she spoke about it like it was a problem that needed to be dealt with. I just felt ashamed and tried to stop.’

ryan2But once Ryan left home at 18 to start an illustration course at University for the Creative Arts in Maidstone, he was able to dress how he wanted. ‘It was the first time I’d had a lock on my door and my own space,’ he said. ‘I started to get over the guilt and be in a safe place. I was cross-dressing more and more, but still in secret.’

‘Then I realised there was more to it. Some days every inch of me felt like a bloke and wearing a dress wouldn’t even cross my mind.  Other days though, my bones and everything inside me felt female. I wasn’t consciously choosing which one I wanted to be.  It was my body telling me. It hit me that I was two genders. I’d never heard of anything like it before, so I made up a name for it, bi-gender.’

Curious, he decided to Google the term and came across a website called bigender.net. ‘I discovered the site and straight away joined the forum. There were so many people echoing how I’d felt for years. It was a revelation, I didn’t know it was a real thing,’ he said. ‘I decided to name my female side Ria, I wanted to embrace her. She was as much a part of me as Ryan and she deserved a name. A few months later I decided on Ria because it was similar to Ryan. But I still didn’t tell anyone.’

It was 11 months later, in January 2013, that he decided to test the water with his close friends, though he only revealed half of his secret. ‘First I told them I was a cross-dresser, because I hadn’t got my head around the whole bigender thing,’ he said. ‘I was shaking and stuttering when I told them, but it didn’t faze them one bit. We were all art students so everyone had individual personalities. In fact, they were more surprised when they discovered I was left-handed.

After finding the courage to take the first step, later that month Ryan wrote an online journal to explain to his friends what bigender means. He said: ‘I told them I’m male and female, I switch between the two. They were fine with it, it was an anti-climax really after I was so worried.

‘That February I went out with them to the pub dressed as Ria for the first time. ‘I was so self-conscious and braced for comments, but I only got a double-take and I can handle that. My friends were really supportive and didn’t treat me any differently.’

Three months later, in July, Ryan found the courage to sit his parents down. He said: ‘I’d told all my friends and felt they needed to know. I was going back home for the summer holidays and didn’t want to go back in the closet. Dad asked if I wanted to be a woman. I had to explain it’s not the same as being transgender. They don’t mind it but we don’t talk about it.’

It was only natural he was worried about Krystal’s reaction after she brought up his Ria profile on their first date in August this year. He says: ‘After telling others I was calmer about it than before, but I still don’t know how someone new will react. She didn’t know much about it so I wanted her to ask questions so she’d understand. Although it was tense showing her Ria for the first time, she was so positive.’

Krystal has found her relationship with Ryan to be the perfect mix. She says: ‘I treat Ria like a princess. Usually with a guy and girl relationship, the guy treats the girl but we can treat each other. It’s a more fulfilling relationship.’

Some bi-gender people have a separate female persona and male persona, but others can have shades of grey between the two. ‘He definitely has two personas,’ she said. ‘I can tell straight away when it’s Ryan or Ria with me, there’s different mannerisms. Ryan is much more slouchy and like a guy, but Ria has an effeminate manner, plays with her hair lots and is quite dainty when she’s walking.’

Usually Ryan will stick to baggy t-shirts and jeans if he’s going to a gig or hanging out with the guys. But for clothes shopping or picking out new makeup, Ria will go out with girl friends in a feminine frock.

Ria

Ria

Ryan said: ‘When I first told girl mates and they saw me as Ria, they were quite jealous and wanted me to help with their makeup. I found it difficult to go shopping for dresses when I was dressed male. I knew shop assistants would think I was buying something for my girlfriend, but I was self-conscious. Now I always go dressed as Ria and clothes shops have been really great, letting me use women’s changing rooms.

It’s early days for Ryan and Krystal, they haven’t been out shopping together but they’ll soon be swapping frocks. Krystal said: ‘I’m already sizing up Ria’s wardrobe, I’ve picked a few things I want to borrow.’

DCG

Advertisements

39 responses to “The bi-gender boy who decides every morning what sex he wants to be

  1. There is no better testimony to “transgenderism” being a mental-spiritual disorder, instead of a real biological phenomenom, than the absurd and grotesque Ryan Wigley.

    Like

    • Dr Eowyn . . . you have stated it best by calling it “grotesque.” The lame little friend should be running for the hills. What chance does this kind of relationship have for producing a healthy family life? None, I should think!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Kevin J Lankford

    Just cannot identify with that problem.

    Like

  3. LOL… sorry DCG, but I can’t take this seriously!!! It’s just plain funny!!! Still I’m kind afraid of how the world will look like when I get old… it will be creepy!!! I bet we’ll have people walking their partners, that feel that they are not human but dogs, cats and other creatures… “Oh, this is Tobias, my dog. He is also my hubby. We met in uni, when he realised he wasn’t a human, but a chihuahua, and I was very understanding. We changed our relationship since then and I love to read a good book with Tobias curled up on my feet”.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Looks like a flaming drag-queen! Leeann

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Son of the Rabbit People

    Dear Dudes,

    Putting on make-up and donning women’s attire does not make you look like a girl. You are only fooling yourselves. Stop being insane, please.

    Sincerely,
    Everyone else

    Liked by 2 people

  6. It’s very telling that going to college is what gave him the “courage” to ‘come out’ as “bi-gender”. This adult has serious mental problems and it seems to stem from his mother….was his father involved in his life? I pity any child born from his loins who has to deal with daddy/mommy. Seems like some kind of split personality…but, instead of getting treatment for it, he is praised.

    Liked by 2 people

    • College, obviously, is not for grown ups any more…

      Liked by 2 people

    • Methinks it was the college that helped in large part to screw the kid up, lest we forget “gender studies” and other flagrant vile propaganda which finds a home in “colleges” etc. Indeed he definitely needs treatment, and possibly an exorcism.

      Such a shame his life is being stolen and corrupted. Seems as if nothing good comes from colleges, whether they be universities or local.

      Liked by 2 people

      • yes, most colleges today are havens for hedonism. My husband and I will have to have a long talk and prayer with all of our children to help them decide on where to go for college. The low-quality “higher” education is a joke. Our focus will be on Christian colleges and universities, maybe even online schooling as a possibility…I guess we’ll see.

        Liked by 2 people

    • OK, I feel better after reading yr comments, as I was thinking along the lines of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. This poor devil is nothing if not pathetic; at least Chelsea Manning had the strength to make a commitment to her new-found self and stick with it. I cannot help but think this shape-shifting is unlikely to have a happy ‘end of story’ conclusion.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Another serial killer in the making.

    Like

  8. Since this guy/girl doesn’t know what he is,gender-wise,he/she should be fine with being considered an IT. (it LOOKS a little like IT from the Stephen King movie by the same name,and probably scares little kids just as much too. Anyway,they’re ALL ITs to me.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I have one word to describe him. FREAK!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Bi-gender, is this an attempt to hide mental illness? Sounds like the diagnosis is really multiple personality disorder.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. You commenters are horrible. Calling another human being an “it”? How can you claim to call yourselves followers of GOD? HE would never treat HIS children so abysmally. Yes, Ryan needs help, but how is mocking him online going to help him sort out his issues? No wonder the LGBT+ community hates and mistrusts Christians with such a passion. If the likes of you would stop this childish game of name-calling and mockery, maybe we as a human race would actually start to make real progress for once. Be the bigger person, for GOD’s sake.

    Like

    • Are you a mind reader? While I would not refer to a self-proclaimed transgender with the pronoun “it,” how do you know that those who use “it” are mocking transgenders? I can see how they can be genuinely confused as to what pronoun to use since transgenders and the complicit media insist on mis-using pronouns, referring to Bruce Jenner, a biological male who will remain biologically male, as “she.”

      What pronoun would you use?

      I think your calling commenters “horrible” is most unChristian. Nor is it Christian to be a narcissist, as you are, since it was you who gave your comment a thumbs up BEFORE I could “moderate” or approve your comment for publication.

      Liked by 1 person

      • You’ll probably delete it again, but just in case here it is a second time:
        You wrote in your comment that Ryan is “absurd and grotesque”, words that are almost always used as insults.
        Other commenters called Ryan “it”, “grotesque”, “funny” in regards to his sad situation, “flaming drag-queen” (which I personally saw as a means of poking fun at him, but perhaps that was somehow not the intention?), “insane”, “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”, “pathetic”, a future “serial killer”, “FREAK”, and mocked him with pictures. I cannot imagine Jesus would ever use such derogatory language.
        A simple fix to the pronoun situation would be to address him using male pronouns, as he was “assigned” male at birth.
        Yes, Jesus probably wouldn’t call someone “horrible”, but he certainly wouldn’t let this sort of hateful behavior you and the other commenters displayed slide without reprimand, either. And, yes, I did “thumbs-up” my own comment. I hardly think that equals being a narcissist.

        Like

        • @Anon Y Mouse in Cypress, Texas:

          Cambridge Dictionary‘s definition of “absurd” is “ridiculous” or “completely unreasonable”, and the definition of “grotesque” is “​strange and ​unpleasant, ​especially in a ​silly or ​slightly ​frightening way”.

          Ryan Wigley, a male both biologically and in his physical appearance, who decides what gender he is every morning, depending on what “mood” he’s in, most certainly is “ridiculous and completely unreasonable,” i.e., devoid of reason, as well as “strange” and “slightly frightening.” That you don’t find him “absurd” and “grotesque” — and then use Christianity as a truncheon against those of us who do, calling us “horrible” — speaks volumes about you.

          As for your “And, yes, I did “thumbs-up” my own comment. I hardly think that equals being a narcissist.”

          Of course, you don’t. After all, you are a narcissist, which is exemplified by your self-congratulatory description of your blog posts as “Amazing Stuff I Just Posted”. Tsk, tsk.

          Then, on top of everything, you use your obscure little blog which no one reads (12 followers!) to publicly ridicule and humiliate your friend Nevaeh, whom you’ve known since 8th grade, calling her “very immature”; her family “slobs”; her mother “bitchy”; her little sister “an uncontrollable wild animal”; and her home “messy,” “disgusting,” “smells like period blood and dirty clothes,” with “shit everywhere,” which makes you feel “revolted”.

          All of which, of course, makes you a hypocrite for lecturing to us for being judgmental about Ryan Wigley. Nothing I or FOTM commenters wrote about Wigley even come close to the venom you spewed about Nevaeh. Indeed, with “friends” like you, who needs enemies. Nevaeh’s parents should sue you for online bullying.

          It’s clear that you find especially offensive Nevaeh’s Christian faith, which renders your rantings against us completely transparent.

          Finally, I am the owner of FOTM, a private non-government blog. FOTM is under no obligation (legal or moral) whatsoever to publish your comments, two of which I’d already allowed through. For you to protest otherwise is also “absurd” and utterly “grotesque.”

          Liked by 2 people

          • Wow! You tell ’em Dr. Eowyn!
            You are a hypocrite anon e mouse!
            How dare you come to this website scolding others for their opinions of a social pervert when you are a self righteous online bully and make such disgusting comments about someone?!
            First, you need to get a grip with Jesus and remove the log from your own eye, Then, regardless of your age, you need to grow up.

            Liked by 1 person

      • Our blog, our choices. Only so much time to play with trolls. Besides, why bother with people who are so horrible?

        Liked by 2 people

    • If Ryan needs help, as you state, how is perpetuating this “gender shift” and supporting it helping him to sort out his issues?

      At some point reality must set in. And if Ryan can’t deal with his own issues, and the LGBTQRSV community continue to support a false reality, then how can you expect commenters to take a supportive stance for those so removed from one who cannot progress on his own?

      Name calling and mockery have been mastered by those who refuse a debate about gender, sex and the liberal agenda to remove biology and God from the discussion. Us “bigots”, “homophobes”, “transphobes”, and “raaaacists” have heard it all. Real “progress” is a two-way street that starts at Reality Avenue.

      Liked by 2 people

    • I’m pretty sure GOD isn’t really thrilled by His creations deciding He didn’t know what He was doing when He created THEM,and taking it upon themselves to alter His design. Maybe these “shape-shifters” should stop this childish game of re-designing GOD’s work just so they can use a different restroom or date a different Gender,for GOD’s sake. I KNOW there’s more to it than I stated,but the vast majority of people understand that if you want to retain any degree of integrity in life,you play the hand you’re dealt;some do well,some don’t,but according to the Laws of Nature,we don’t get the choice of dealing ourselves a different hand,or sorting through the deck to cherry-pick the cards we WANT.
      SOME things are just better off to NOT be tampered with. People who decide to attempt to change their Gender surgically,I’m sure,think the results will make them “happier”,but it very likely won’t,and THEIR choice causes problems for EVERYONE ELSE. HOW FAIR IS THAT?

      Liked by 2 people

    • Dear Anon Y. Mouse:

      I note that you have six ‘thumbs up’ contra 3 down, so it looks clear to me that we have read our comment and gave it a positive rating; you may wish to wonder about the nay-sayers, however, as it wasn’t one of us.

      Now who is”… the bigger person, for GOD’s sake.”?

      Liked by 1 person

  12. BTW-no matter WHAT Ryan (or Bruce Jenner,for that matter) decides to do to “make” himself a girl,genetically he’ll ALWAYS be a MALE,and he CAN’T change that. And GENETICS trumps the trans-gender want list,the LGBTQRST Movement AND any flawed LAWS that are passed by cowardly political buffoons to force the opposite,because the evidence it shows can be PROVEN accurate in any Court in this Country.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. What the hell, this crap is so against nature! I will never accept this spit in the eye of . God!

    Like

  14. He needs deliverance from demons and evil spirits. He needs Jesus. He needs to snap out of it and repent and get saved. Or he will spend eternity with those demons that are controlling him now. But we need to at least show him that there is a God that loves him and will heal him. If he doesn’t want to choose the Lord, that’s on him, he will be spending eternity with the very same demons that are possessing him now. Jesus had mercy on the guy that was filled with demons and was crazy and lived in the cave. He was vile. But God’s love saved him. It’s a serious mental illness and a spiritual issue. He is possessed by demons. They all are. But we all need to repent for our own sins and stop throwing stones at the hurting, confused and bound person.

    Like

  15. Sad to see the hate from people who make comments without having the intelligence to realize that unless they are in a similar position they should not judge. My heart and thoughts go out to Ryan/Ria, thank god for people like Kristal. Some people have hormonal imbalances, have brains that don’t quite match society’s simplistic view that everyone must fit within two boxes. At the end of the day we are all human. Sadly some above this comment have acted inhuman. If there is a judgement day I’ve got my money on Ryan and Ria and not on what hypocrites tend to troll these articles

    Like

    • @Elisha Delahay:

      You just violated your own injunction. By saying “Sad to see the hate from people who make comments without having the intelligence to realize that unless they are in a similar position they should not judge,” you precisely are judging us. And you call us hypocrites?

      Liked by 1 person

    • Interesting how the LGBTQ community insists that sexual orientation is essential immutable, yet gender which is determined by each individual person’s chromosomal fingerprint is completely fluid. Sad that junk science rules intelligent thoughts and feeeeeeelings.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. @ Dr Eowyn. Sorry I hit a nerve. I am in a similar position hence I can judge. My choice is to show compassion and understanding. Something god taught me. Awaits compulsive reply.
    @DCG while we disagree you argue well and don’t seem to be driven by hate. Respect your posts.

    Like

    • @Elisha:

      Thank you for your civil reply.
      Re: “Sorry I hit a nerve” — You misunderstood me. No nerve of mine was hit. I simply pointed out the logical or self contradiction in your “Judge not” injunction, which clearly you still don’t get. When you tell others to “judge not,” that command itself is a form of judging because you are JUDGING the other person of doing something you JUDGE to be improper. In order words, you violated your own command to “judge not”.

      Like

      • Hi Dr Eowyn
        I disagree. As you guessed I would no doubt. “unless they are in a similar position they should not judge” what makes you think I’m not in a similar position. The article was clearly posted for ridicule. Intention in my world is revealing the true nature of the beast. We both look in as outsiders so are basically judging from a similar position. Hence my self contradiction doesn’t really exist.
        Now I offer support for those in this very situation. I realize while most posters will have no idea of what goes through their minds they will still post their own beliefs / theories whatever.
        Whatever (that word again) what makes people this way will be up for debate for the foreseeable future. Just because it feels uncomfortable to you doesn’t mean the feelings and actions they take aren’t very real to them.
        So instead of trying to ridicule a small isolated portion of society who lets face it probably go through more than the majority of people can even imagine I’d rather show understanding. A little compassion. Lets hope the odd cruel word doesn’t add to the real issue of suicide and depression these people face. In the end we share a planet. Lets not try and exterminate everything that we can’t quite comprehend.
        Elise

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s