We Need A Joke Badly. Today For My Italian Friends


Folks If you are Italian you will get em all. If your not you’ll probably understand some, but trust me they are all true.   😀


You know you’re Italian when…..

Why do Italians hate Jehovah’s Witnesses?
Because Italians hate all witnesses.
Do you know why most men from Italy are named Tony?
On the boat over to America
they put a sticker on them that said

You know you’re Italian when . . .
You can bench press 325 pounds,
shave twice a day and
still cry when your mother yells at you.

You carry your lunch in a produce bag
because you can’t fit two cappicola ( Gah-bah-gool) sandwiches,
4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles
into a regular lunch bag.
Your mechanic, plumber, electrician,
accountant, travel agent and lawyer
are all your cousins.

You have at least 5 cousins
living in the same town or
on the same block.
All five of those cousins
are named after your
grandfather or grandmother.
You are on a first name basis
with at least 8 banquet hall owners

You only get one good shave
from a disposable razor.

If someone in your family grows beyond 5′ 9′,
it is presumed his Mother had an affair.

There were more than 28 people
in your bridal party.

You netted more than $50,000
on your first communion.

know you’re Italian when . . . .

Your grandfather had a fig tree.
You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.
Christmas Eve . . . only fish.
Your mom’s meatballs are the best.
You’ve been hit with a wooden spoon
or had a shoe thrown at you.

You know how to pronounce
‘manicotti’  and ‘mozzarella.’   

(mon-e-gaut/ mutz-uh -ell)

You fight over whether it’s called
‘sauce’ or ‘gravy.’

You’ve called someone a ‘mamaluke.’
And you understand ‘bada bing’.



9 responses to “We Need A Joke Badly. Today For My Italian Friends

  1. I am not of Italian heritage but some of my best friends are. (:


  2. Correct tense is “If you’re not…” The word “your” is the possessive tense indicating you own something.

    I know of an Italian man up in New Jersey who thinks me saying “y’all” is ignorant (I’m in Georgia), and harasses me about it, and tried to act like it was ok to say that by saying he conceded that “bada bing” was dumb also. I wasn’t familiar with that phrase until he brought it up. So he’s complaining about a word sounding ignorant in spite of the fact — and I’m ONLY writing this crude word because y’all have written it in a blog title recently — with his NJ accent he pronounces “pussy” like “pwussy,” LMFAOROFL!!!!

    He is 5’9″ so that was funny when I read this. He is actually a quarter Dutch and somehow ended up with blue eyes, even though both parents and all three brothers had/have brown. Somehow both parents carried the gene even though one was allegedly 100% Italian.


  3. Julia, where I come from it’s sorta impolite to correct someone in front of others. Generally if typos are pointed out around here it is not amongst the regular posters. You know I’ve been making that mistake my whole life. Been working on it real hard. Hardly do it anymore.
    Guess I’ll have to try harder. 😀


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