More feminism baloney…

Why settle for just one man?

Every Woman Needs a “Gaggle” of Men

CNN: If you’re a single woman and you’re looking for love, forget about “The Rules” and stop worrying that “He’s just not that into you.”  That was then, this is now – it’s a post-dating world you’re living in, and that means you have to shed your one-to-one mind-set and start thinking in terms of one to many.

In other words? Stop searching for Mr. Right and look around at all the Mr Right(s).

That’s the premise of “The Gaggle,” a new book from Jessica Massa, who, along with Rebecca Wiegand, runs the website “WTF Is Up With My Love Life?!”  According to Massa and Wiegand, every woman – single or not – should have her own gaggle, a group of guys that occupy different roles in her life.

“You probably have a gaggle of friends, who all play different roles and fulfill different needs for you,” explains Massa. “You might call one friend to go shopping versus another friend when you’re upset versus another friend when you need a serious professional opinion. Your romantic gaggle is just another piece of the much larger, long-term puzzle of how you structure the relationships in your life to feel full, happy and loved.”

The men in this gaggle can include anyone from the barista you flirt with, to the ex-boyfriend you Skype, to the work buddy you commiserate with over lunch. Whether you end up dating one or more of them is just an added bonus.

“As a woman, having a gaggle provides you with a love life full of possibility: you have many men in your life, in many ambiguous but enriching ways, who are all teaching you about yourself and your needs and desires and leading you closer to the guy and relationship you want,” say Massa and Wiegand.

Terri Trespicio, a New York-based dating and relationship coach who is single herself, exuberantly extols the “uncoupled state” and takes things a step further: If you’re happily single but enjoy dating, she recommends seeing three different men regularly.

When you date just one guy, you might feel pressured to commit, even if you’re not ready,” she says. “If you see two men, there’s often this unspoken need to choose between them. But three guys tend to balance each other out, like a tripod.”

Like the “Gaggle,” these three men can fulfill different needs – maybe you like to see movies with one, travel with another and cuddle with a third – which removes the burden of one man to fill all those slots.  “This can also help you worry less about whether or not someone is your ‘match’,” says Trespicio, “and shifts your focus to the sheer joy of connecting with other people.”

Nor does being single have to equal celibate. Your gaggle may well include ex-boyfriends, hot sex prospects, and perhaps even a cuddle-guy. It’s your love-life, so do it your way. As long as you’re open and honest with your dates – and practice safe sex – there’s no reason why you can’t be intimate with more than one person.

Just as different people can serve different roles outside of bed, so too, can they satisfy different needs between the sheets. In their groundbreaking book, “The Ethical Slut,” Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy describe the ways in which single women (and men) can juggle multiple sexual partners and enjoy intimacy safely and “ethically.”

Marriage is wonderful for many, but it’s not the right choice for everyone. Whether you’re sexually intimate with more than one person or simply enjoying a variety of friendships and dates, one doesn’t have to be the loneliest number.

Say Massa and Wiegand: “We are living in a post-dating world because traditional dating is no longer the most common path that people are following to romantically connect and fall in love. And the more that women judge themselves and their relationships by traditional dating standards that no longer exist, the more they are going to feel an unnecessary despair and confusion and hold themselves back from finding love in this new romantic landscape.”

So go forth and gaggle!

Traditional dating standards no longer exist?  In their opinion.  And the opinion and agenda of today’s feminists.  In an attempt to justify a woman’s lack of finding “Mr. Right”, why not just fool around with whomever you choose?  Heaven forbid a woman have some moral standards and a dream to find a soulmate.

I don’t need a “tripod” – I need a faithful man who is my rock.  And I believe any respectable man would expect the same from me.  Yet I’m just a little old-fashioned.  I’d rather be called that than an “ethical slut” any day!

DCG

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12 responses to “More feminism baloney…

  1. Ya know, none of these idiots think past their noses…what happens when you cross that inevitable threshold where you are no longer physically attractive to strangers and your butt hangs down to your knees and your neck is comprised of crepey turkey-wattle and your face looks like an Alfred Hitchcock nightmare…who will be your “cuddle buddy” then? That’s the whole point of devoting yourself to one person for life. When you get old and feeble and creepy, the memories are there, the loyalty is there, the trust is there, the love is there, what you need when you’re old is there. It’s part of the plan, estupid girl.

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  2. Homeschool Mama

    Moxie, that was funny. As a Christian, there is also a spiritual component to monogamy and that is that marriage was instituted by God to demonstrate His faithful love to His bride. Even when marriage partners drift apart, our commitment to our vows demonstrates the selfless love of Christ, who died for us.

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  3. What exactly is a “cuddle guy”. Your gay friend?? No wonder Sandra Fluke needs help paying for birth control, her gaggle demands are ever present!!

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  4. Here is an example of a girl who was “fooling around with whomever she chose”. The story was in our local paper this morning…a little lengthy, but recommended for “gagglers”. I’ve included the link to the entire article below. He was quite the cuddle buddy:
    The additional charge stems from an incident in the early morning hours of Dec. 26, 2011, when Mr. O’Dell allegedly went to the apartment of a 21-year-old woman.
    That night, the victim told police she invited Mr. O’Dell over and they consumed alcoholic drinks before she passed out, fully clothed. When she woke up a few hours later, all the lights were out in her apartment and Mr. O’Dell was gone. As she left the room, her intestines fell to the floor.
    “She went into the bathroom and saw herself cut open in the mirror,” Platte County Sheriff Richard Anderson said at the press conference.
    Originally questioned at the press conference, Mr. Zahnd would not confirm or deny if anything sexual happened during Mr. O’Dell’s stay at the woman’s apartment. On Tuesday, a press release from the prosecutor’s office was more forward.
    “The amended complaint adds an allegation that O’Dell had deviate sexual intercourse with that same woman without her consent on the same date of the assault,” the document stated.
    According to News-Press files, Mr. O’Dell previously admitted to having a heated conversation with the alleged victim before grabbing a razor and slicing her.
    In addition, Mr. O’Dell is accused of killing Alissa Shippert, 22, on May 31, 2011, after bludgeoning her with a hatchet near the Platte River. Her body was found washed up on the shore a day later.”

    http://www.newspressnow.com/news/local_news/article_60799123-f0d9-5ab2-87f8-c16f9261752f.html

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  5. edward oleander

    “she recommends seeing three different men regularly”

    I’m fat enough to be three men… does that make me an Economy-sized-all-in-one-gaggle? If I then get paid for it, does that make me a Gaggolo?Where do I sign up?
    😉

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  6. When I was young and pretty I usually had a few guys at once trying to date me. It always felt funny, and I actually did not like it. But, those were the days….. 🙂

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  7. Somebody tell CNN they’re a little late:

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  8. just remember,girls…all of those advances you spurned are
    going to come back to haunt you when you’re old and lonely.
    You can’t get by on just good looks forever…or so they tell me 🙂

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  9. Isn’t a gaggle a group of Geese?

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  10. umdidyoureadit?

    So – by reading this, I’m assuming you haven’t actually read the book because if you had or actually even read the CNN article without judgement – you would see that they’re not advocating that girls sleep around but on the contrary saying that women should use their platonic relationships to help them find what they are REALLY looking for in a life partner so that they don’t end up spending the rest of their life with the wrong guy. I applaud them. Too many people end up with the wrong life partner by settling.

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    • “Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy describe the ways in which single women (and men) can juggle multiple sexual partners and enjoy intimacy safely and “ethically.” So that’s not advocating that women sleep around? Alrighty then…

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