The ‘Religion of Trash’ Caption Contest

This is the 144th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic:

wraiths

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box), not via email or on Facebook.
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM:D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, February 28, 2017.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

Every Monday morning, Ayesha plays a game of hide-and-seek with Dearborn’s trash collectors.

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

~Eowyn

Saturday Funny: The Confession

texting

TEXT MESSAGE NO. 1

Hi Bob, this is Alan next door.

I’m sorry buddy, but I have a confession to make to you.

I’ve been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling in text as I can’t live with myself a moment longer without you knowing.

The truth is I have been sharing your Wife, day and night when you’re not around. In fact, probably more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently, but that’s no excuse, I know. The temptation was just too much….

I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me. I promise that it won’t happen again. Please come up with a fee for usage, and I’ll pay you.

Regards, Alan

WHAT BOB DID

Bob, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun, marched next door, and shot Alan dead.

He returned home where he poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. He took out his cell phone and saw he has another message from Alan.

TEXT MESSAGE NO. 2

Hi Bob, this is Alan next door again.

Sorry about the slight typo on my last text. I expect you worked it out anyway, but as I’m sure you noticed that my Auto-correct changed WiFi to Wife. Technology, eh?!? Hope you saw the funny side of that!

Regards, Alan

H/t FOTM‘s josephbc69

~Eowyn

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Fort Hood jihadist shooter Nidal Hassan is ‘gay’ and wants a sex-change operation

Nidal Malik Hasan, 46, an American-born Muslim of Palestinian heritage, is the former Army Medical Corps psychiatrist and jihadist who fatally shot 13 people and injured more than 30 others in the Fort Hood mass shooting on November 5, 2009, for which he was convicted in a court martial and sentenced to death. He is incarcerated and awaiting execution at Fort Leavenworth Disciplinary Barracks while his case is reviewed by appellate courts.

In letters to the National Enquirer, Hasan reveals he’s a homosexual transgender, and wants a sex change operation, on the taxpayer’s dime of course.

nidal-hassan

J.R. Taylor reports for The National Enquirer, Feb. 23, 2017, that in his letters, Hasan expressed no regrets for his shooting massacre. He said he was upset at the deployment of troops to Afghanistan and at a homosexual lover for ditching him.

According to The Enquirer, Hasan’s lover may have been an Islamic convert who worshiped at the Islamic Community of Greater Killeen that Hasan frequented. “Hasan claimed he was instructing the young man on Islam, but the rumor at the mosque was that he was in love with him,” an insider said.

In the letters, Hasan complained about his living conditions and his physical well-being from being shot five times by civilian police officer Sgt. Mark Todd who helped to end the Fort Hood carnage. Hasan whined that “I’m in solitary confinement. I’m also a paraplegic!”

Hasan also said he wants a sex-change operation: “I am trying slowly to change my ways into a woman who the Creator would be proud of. I’m trying to be a devout servant of God in an ungodly world. We need to do the best we can with the cards we’re dealt and what we did to ourselves.”

A military veteran told The Enquirer: “It’s quite ironic. He wants to be a woman — but it takes massive cojones to demand that taxpayers foot the bill!”

Teacher Gang Raped By 9 Iraqi Immigrants in Vienna Attack

rapefugees

From Express UK: Prosecutors charge the Iraqi men with “abuse of a defenceless person and rape in a very humiliating and agonising way for the victim”.

At the opening of the trial yesterday the court heard how the woman identified as Sabine K. was “blind drunk” when she went with the men to an apartment. Most of them deny the charges but DNA proved that sperm from six of them was found in or on her body.

The court heard how the victim arrived in Vienna on December 28, 2015 to spend the New Year with a female friend in the city. Shortly before midnight on December 31 they wandered into the city centre to join milling crowds celebrating the arrival of 2016 and at 2.00am were seen drinking in a bar-restaurant called Cactus.

Shortly before 3.00am the friend of Sabine noticed she was no longer there and was told by another patron that the men she had been talking with had “taken her away.”

The defendants, aged between 22 and 45, all arrived in Austria between May and December 2015 via the Balkan route. At the time of the attack, five of them had cemented their right to stay, the applications of the other four were still pending.

Judge Petra Poschalko heard how the woman was taken by four of them to an apartment in Vienna’s Rustenschacher Allee where five other men were waiting. Sabine later said she found herself naked on a double bed being assaulted by the men one after the other. Evidence was heard that said she was assaulted in the dark so she could not identify the men, according to her lawyer Karina Fehringer.

After the attacks, which went on for several hours, the victim needed in-patient treatment at a trauma clinic and now is under psychiatric care for post traumatic stress disorder. She had another breakdown at the weekend and was too fragile to be in court to face her attackers.

Only one man, Mohamed Al-A., 31, admitted his role in the rapes and he sobbed in court and said he was “really drunk” on vodka at the time. And he further admitted: “This act is a crime in Iraq.”

He was with co-defendants Nazar Al-J., Mohammed Al-T. and Alaa Al-J. in the Cactus bar who took the victim back to the apartment. The other defendants – Hader Al-A., Mustafa Al-J., Nael Al-J., Marwan Al-J. und Sabah Al-J. – lay in wait for her there. Medical experts testified she was raped multiple times and sodomised.

The victim said she yelled at them, in German: “No, I don’t want this.” Then in English: “Listen to me, just a little bit.” Her attackers conversed only in Arabic.

Alaa Al-J. was said to be the rape ringleader. After it was over Mohammed Al-. escorted her to a toilet in the flat where he took a selfie with her on his mobile phone. Later he and Alaa Al-J. escorted her to a nearby tram stop where they tried to stem her sobbing by saying in English: “Don’t cry.”

After she went to police a tracking app on her mobile phone led officers to the rape scene. The app showed that her ordeal lasted from 4:20am to 6:20am on January 1 2016.

The court heard that with the exception of the man who confessed, none of the others feel guilty. Several denied rape in the face of the DNA evidence. One man claimed that the woman had been “offered” to them by relatives: another that she was a willing participant in whatever took place.

Judge Poaschalko seemed visibly angered at the shifts in their stories throught Tuesday’s hearing. The court resumes again on Thursday and sentencing will be handed down on March 6. She has warned them they face up to 15 years each in jail.

DCG

Illegal alien injures two teenage girls in hit & run – had previous DUI arrests in the US

lara-lozano-illegal

From KETV (Omaha, NE): An undocumented immigrant illegal alien is behind bars Thursday night after Omaha police said he fled the scene of a hit-and-run crash on Feb. 4.

Investigators said 31-year-old Alejandro D Lara-Lozano was arrested Monday at a home in Omaha. They believe he was planning to head to Mexico.

Madison Reed, 16, and a friend were driving near Oak View Mall when the crash happened. OPD said Lara-Lozano slammed into her car head on and ran away. “I was just horrified, you know, at the condition of my granddaughter’s car … how they survived this accident I’ll never know,” said Joan Reed, Madison Reed’s grandmother.

KETV spoke with Joan Reed over the phone Thursday. She talked about the emotions she felt the day of the crash, learning the driver of the truck took off. “Very angry,” Reed said. “Thinking to myself, how can you just get out of your vehicle and then look at these girls, seeing the extent of the damage?”

According to court documents, a Facebook message from Lara-Lozano’s wife helped police identify him as the driver. The documents say she reached out to Joan Reed, telling her Lara-Lozano was driving that night and hiding in Illinois.

According to police documents, Lara-Lozano is an illegal immigrant. Joan Reed said she recently learned this news. “To us, it makes no difference who he is or where he’s from, whether he’s here legally or illegally,” Reed said. “That’s just not something that makes a difference to us at this point.”

Douglas County Attorney Don Kleine is aware of the case, with Lara-Lozano in court Wednesday. He’s now potentially awaiting deportation. “At this time, we made sure we connected with immigration and they have a hold on him for that purpose,” Kleine said Thursday.

As for Madison Reed, she is recovering from a shattered heel and fractured vertebra. A junior at Marion, she’ll now have to put her dancing on hold.  “She’s having some emotional struggles,” Joan Reed said. “She’s got some anger, she’s got some sadness, she’s just trying to kind of come to grips with all of it.”

The passenger in Madi’s car is also a junior at Marion. She’s since been released from the hospital. Lara-Lozano’s bond was set at $3 million. His preliminary hearing is scheduled for March 10.

According to KMTV, the illegal alien had 3 previous DUI arrests in Illinois and Iowa.

DCG

‘Star Trek’ actor George Takei fondly reminisces about being molested by a camp counselor

Supposedly conservative Milo Yiannopoulos recently resigned from his editor position at Breitbart after an audio of him extolling man-boy sex was publicized online.

In a 2016 episode of “The Drunken Peasants” podcast, Yiannopoulos recalled being sexually molested when he was a teen but did not outright condemn pederasty — sex between an adult male and an adolescent boy. Yiannopoulos flippantly said young boys “discover who they are” through such relationships and that while those relationships can be sexual in nature, they give the boys “security and safety and provide them with love and a reliable rock where they can’t speak to their parents.”

When the podcast host said to Yiannopoulos, “Sounds like Catholic priest molestation to me,” Yiannopoulos quipped: “I’m grateful for Father Michael. I wouldn’t give nearly such good head if it wasn’t for him.”

After the podcast was brought to light, which led to CPAC canceling Yiannoupoulos’ appearance, Yiannopoulos drafted a lengthy apology on Facebook, blaming his “sloppy phrasing” and denied supporting pedophilia. He wrote:

“I shouldn’t have used the word ‘boy’ when I talked about those relationships between older men and younger gay men. I was talking about my own relationship when I was 17 with a man who was 29. The age of consent in the UK is 16.”

He also clarified that his example of learning oral sex from a priest was a joke to make light of his own sexual abuse. (Source: Celebrity News Update)

The Yiannopoulos incident, however, led citizen journalists to bring to our attention something about which I had not known — a genuinely disturbing interview in 2006 of homosexual actor George Takei, best known for playing Mr. Sulu in the original Star Trek TV series, in which Takei spoke approvingly of pederasty.

In an interview with Howard Stern in 2006, Takei gleefully recalled his first sexual experience when, as a sexually-inexperienced 13-year-old boy, he was molested by an “18- or 19”-year-old counselor at summer camp at Lake Arrowhead in Los Angeles.

george-takei-laughing-about-being-molested-by-camp-counselor

Takei said he was alone in a cabin in the summer camp, the other boys were off hiking. Although Takei wasn’t “gay” then, he thought the 18-year-old camp counselor was “pretty attractive” — “muscled,” “toned,” with “blonde, tanned forearms”. Takei said the counselor “puts his arm around my shoulders . . . . Then he started, you know, touching the private parts.” The older male gave Takei “a hand job” — Takei’s “first orgasm”. The whole experience was “both wonderful and scary and kind of intimidating, and delightful,” but with “an element of scariness,” and “delicious”.

Here’s the audio of the disgusting interview, with Stern and co-host Robin Quivers cheering and prodding Takei’s salacious reminiscing.

Folks, that’s the Left.

Forget about their supposed ideology and beliefs, which are inconsistent and contradictory any way.

The Left are about one thing, and one thing only:

Moral Degeneracy – Do As Thou Wilt

See also:

H/t FOTM’s MomOfIV

~Eowyn

‘Real men provide’ billboard in North Carolina is turning heads

real-men-provide-billboard

And causing Feminazi heads to explode.

From WHNT: (WINSTON-SALEM, NC) – A new billboard in North Carolina is stirring up controversy, protest and debate. It reads: “Real men provide. Real women appreciate it.”

It’s located on I-40 Business West between Greensboro and Winston-Salem.

Clearly, the billboard is turning a lot of heads. Some folks were even spotted getting out of their cars to take pictures. Love it or hate it — everyone has a strong opinion on the message.

“I think it’s fairly accurate. Being a married man myself, I think my wife really appreciates the fact that I can provide for a family and take some of the stress off her,” said Ron Houser.

“I think appreciation is good however we find it. But there is a message in that board that’s not good,” said Lucy Milner. “It really undermines women’s work in the world,” said Joe Milner.

“I would assume if you had a husband that loves you and appreciates you and showed it enough to carry your family and kids, that you would appreciate it. I don’t know why that would be offensive. I think that’s a good thing,” said Nathan Walin.

The billboard belongs to Whiteheart Outdoor Advertising. At the time of this report, it’s still unclear who’s sponsoring the message and why.

But female rights activists like Molly Grace say the billboard delivers a misogynistic, outdated message. “It’s absolutely, absolutely insulting to single mothers, to women who have careers whether they are small careers or big careers,” said Grace.

Grace is planning a peaceful demonstration against the billboard this Sunday at 11 a.m.

DCG

Feds paid $1 BILLION in Social Security benefits to individuals without a SSN

serious

Drain the over-bloated, incompetent swamp.

From Fox NewsThe Social Security Administration paid $1 billion in benefits to individuals who did not have a Social Security Number (SSN), according to a new audit.

The agency’s inspector general found errors in the government’s documentation for representative payees, otherwise known as individuals who receive retirement or disability payments on behalf of another person who is incapable of managing the benefits themselves.

The audit released Friday found thousands of cases where there was no SSN on file.

Over the last decade, the agency paid $1 billion to 22,426 representative payees who “did not have an SSN, and SSA had not followed its policy to retain the paper application.”

“Furthermore, unless it takes corrective action, we estimate SSA will pay about $182.5 million in benefits, annually, to representative payees who do not have an SSN or paper application supporting their selection,” the inspector general said.

The inspector general also found the agency paid $853.1 million in benefits since 2004 to individuals who had been terminated as representative payees by the agency.

Click for more from The Washington Free Beacon.

DCG