The 2 brides Caption Contest

This is the 165th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic:

About the pic: Luke and George celebrate “gay” marriage in Melbourne, Australia.

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box), not via email or on Facebook.
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM! :D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, December 19, 2017.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

“Fooled ya! You guys actually believed us when we said legalizing gay marriage won’t make a mockery of the institution of marriage?”

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

~Eowyn

Boston University professor claims “Jingle Bells” is racist

kyna hamill

Professor Kyna Hamill

From Daily Mail: A professor has claimed that Jingle Bells has racist roots because it was first performed in blackface. ‘The legacy of ‘Jingle Bells’ is one where its blackface and racist origins have been subtly and systematically removed from its history,’ wrote Kyna Hamill, a Boston University theater historian, in a research paper that is making waves.

The claim has shocked fans of one of the world’s most famous Christmas carols, long considered innocuous and inoffensive.

Hamill began researching the origins of Jingle Bells to help settle a dispute between Medford, Massachusetts and Savannah, Georgia – both of which claim to be the place where James Lord Pierpont composed the song.

In the course of her research, Hamill discovered a playbill indicating that Jingle Bells was first performed under the title One Horse Open Sleigh in blackface, for a minstrel show at Ordway Hall on Boston’s Washington Street in 1857. She wrote that traces of the song’s blackface minstrel origins can be found in the music and lyrics, as well as the ‘elements of “male display,” boasting, and the unbridled behavior of the male body onstage’.

‘Its origins emerged from the economic needs of a perpetually unsuccessful man, the racial politics of antebellum Boston, the city’s climate, and the intertheatrical repertoire of commercial blackface performers moving between Boston and New York,’ Hamill wrote in her paper.

‘Although ‘One Horse Open Sleigh,’ for most of its singers and listeners, may have eluded its racialized past and taken its place in the seemingly unproblematic romanticization of a normal ‘white’ Christmas, attention to the circumstances of its performance history enables reflection on its problematic role in the construction of blackness and whiteness in the United States,’ she wrote.

Her claims, published in September, have attracted furious reaction from some who see them as an attack on Christmas traditions.

‘Jingle Bells is racist, White Christmas is racist, Baby it’s Cold Outside is sexist. What the hell happend to the America I grew up in where people didn’t wake up every day trying to find something to be offended by?,’ wrote one Twitter user.

‘What the hell is wrong with these liberal professors do they have nothing better to do besides sit around and Pick A Part our history and call everything racist,’ wrote another person on Twitter.

But as backlash mounted, Hamill spoke out to say that her research had been misinterpreted.  ‘In 1857 when it was performed in blackface — that is white men blackening up with burnt cork on their faces — it would have been racist,’ she told the Boston Herald.

‘I never said it was racist now,’ said Hamill. ‘Nowhere did I say that. My point was that because it is now included in the Christmas catalog of songs — attention is only given to it during the Christmas season — it has eluded rigorous study,’ she said.

Hamill insisted that she wasn’t telling people not to sing Jingle Bells, and that her research had been blown out of proportion.  ‘I did not write the article to make people upset. At no point have I ever made a claim on what people should or should not sing at Christmas,’ she said.

Decide for yourself how much Jingle Bells romanticizes whiteness. Read the lyrics to Jingle Bells here.

DCG

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Liberalism is a mental disorder: 44 y.o. man has Hillary Clinton’s face tattooed on his testicle

Yesterday, DCG published a post on a cast member of Saturday Night Live, 24-year-old Pete Davidson, getting a new tattoo of Hillary Clinton on his right leg.

Davidson wrote on Instagram:

“Wanted to get @hillaryclinton a Christmas gift so I got a tattoo of my hero. Thanks for being such a badass and one of the strongest people in the universe.”

Ever shameless, Hillary responded to her “useful idiot” worshipper:

“Thanks, @petedavidson, This makes it significantly less awkward that I’ve had a Pete Davidson tattoo for years. But seriously, I’m honored. Merry Christmas my friend.”

Davidson isn’t the only man to sport a Hillary Clinton tattoo.

In 2008, Luis Salgado, 28, owner of a tattoo parlor in Philadelphia, got a Medusa portrait of Hillary inked by “artist” Buffalo Bill on his thigh at a tattoo convention in Baltimore. Bill was offering free Hillary tattoos because his daughter Sarah Toby is a big Hillary supporter.

In September 2016, Ron Morrison, the owner of Ron’s Barber Shop in Winter Haven, Florida, got a Hillary tattoo on his upper arm.

But Pete Davidson, Luis Salgado and Ron Morrison are all outdone by another useful idiot — 44-year-old James Branton who had Hillary’s face tattooed on one of his testicles.

Branton published pictures of the painful tattooing session on his Facebook account to show others how much “Americans are ready to sacrifice” for the cause and to make sure Donald Trump doesn’t end up in the Oval Office.

Branton told reporters (NotAllowedTo.com):

“I love her so very much, she is such a great woman and an inspiration to all Americans. I tattooed her face on my balls because I want my future child to have a little of Hillary in him or her.”

Pete Davidson says he has borderline personality disorder. What’s Branton’s excuse?

H/t FOTM‘s Anonymous

~Eowyn

NBC paid off producer who accused Chris Matthews of harassment

Chris_Matthews

From Fox News: NBC paid thousands of dollars to an assistant producer on MSNBC’s “Hardball with Chris Matthews” nearly two decades ago after she brought a sexual harassment complaint against the longtime host, The Daily Caller reported Saturday.

The website, citing two sources, reported that NBC paid the woman $40,000 to settle her claim against Matthews in 1999. An NBC spokesperson told The Daily Caller the network paid a smaller, unspecified amount as part of a severance package.

The woman complained to executives that Matthews, now 71, had made inappropriate comments to her and made inappropriate jokes about her to others.

An MSNBC spokesman told The Daily Caller that Matthews had been slapped with a formal reprimand at the time the woman made her complaint. The website reported that the network decided that the complaints were “inappropriate and juvenile,” but were not intended as propositions.

Matthews has hosted “Hardball” on MSNBC since 1997. He also hosted the syndicated “Chris Matthews Show” between 2002 and 2013 and has authored eight books, most recently a biography of Robert Kennedy.

DCG

Monday Funny! Are you a pilot?

An old grizzled Marine pilot, still wearing his old USMC flight jacket, sat down at a coffee shop and ordered a cup of espresso.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman in a nose ring sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked, “Are you a real pilot?”

He replied, “Well, I’ve spent my whole life flying planes. First Stearmans, then the early Grummans. Flew a Wildcat and Corsair in WWII, and later Banshees and Cougars in the Korean War. I’ve taught more than 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds. So I guess I am a pilot. And you, what are you?”

She said, “I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.”

The two sat sipping their coffees in silence.

A little while later, a young man sporting a Hillary tattoo on his leg sat down at the table of the old pilot and asked: “Are you a real pilot?”

The old Marine replied, “I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.”

H/t maziel

~Eowyn

This is Chiraq: 16 shot with 5 dead, including a 15-year-old boy, during weekend shootings

rahm_emanuel_2

Heckuva job mayor!

I scheduled this post on Sunday afternoon. Expect the number to be higher come Monday morning.

The good mayor should be more worried about the number of shootings and deaths in his gun-controlled town than making the city a “Trump-free” zone.

From MyFoxChicago: Shootings across Chicago have left 5 people dead and 11 more wounded since Friday afternoon. In a particularly violent six hours of the weekend, nine people were shot — three fatally — in attacks Saturday night into Sunday morning.

The most fatal recent shooting took the life of a 15-year-old boy as he rode in a car Sunday morning in the LeClaire Courts neighborhood on the Southwest Side. About 6:50 a.m., someone in a white vehicle crashed into the back of the car the boy was riding in and then someone fired shots into it, striking the boy in the head, according to Chicago Police. He was pronounced dead at the scene in the 5100 block of West 47th Street.

Earlier Sunday, a man was found dead in the driveway of a home in the West Garfield Park neighborhood. The man, whose exact age was unknown, suffered a gunshot wound to his head was found by officers responding to a call of shots fired about 1:54 a.m. in the 4000 block of West Iowa, police said. The Cook County Medical Examiner’s Office has not confirmed either death as of Sunday morning.

On Saturday night, a man and woman were killed and another man was critically wounded in a shooting in the Chicago Lawn neighborhood on the Southwest Side. About 9:40 p.m., they were traveling south in a four-door sedan in the 5900 block of South Richmond when someone fired shots from the sidewalk, authorities said. The 25-year-old man and 21-year-old woman who were shot were pronounced dead at the scene. Their identities have not been released. The other man, age 20, was taken to Mount Sinai Hospital in critical condition with gunshot wounds to his arms and legs.

About five hours earlier, a 20-year-old woman was killed and an 18-year-old man was wounded in a shooting in the South Side Englewood neighborhood. They were sitting in a vehicle about 3:40 p.m. in the 5600 block of South Emerald when someone in a passing dark-colored Audi fired shots, authorities said. The woman was shot in her body and pronounced dead at the scene at 4:15 p.m. Her identity hasn’t been released. The man suffered a gunshot wound to his leg and showed up at St. Bernard Hospital, where his condition stabilized.

The most recent nonfatal shooting happened at 2:23 a.m. Sunday in the South Side Washington Park neighborhood. A 36-year-old man was walking on a sidewalk when someone came up to him in the 5500 block of South State and fired shots, striking him in his chest, police said. He took himself to Provident Hospital for treatment and was later transferred to Stroger Hospital in serious condition.

About 10 minutes earlier, a man was seriously wounded in a Humboldt Park neighborhood shooting. The 37-year-old was walking on a sidewalk at 2:12 a.m. when someone in a vehicle opened fire in the 2500 block of West Potomac, according to police. He showed up at Saints Mary and Elizabeth Medical Center and was later transported to Mount Sinai Hospital, where he was listed in serious condition.

About an hour and a half earlier, two men, ages 22 and 29, were wounded in a South Deering neighborhood shooting on the Far South Side. The men were in a parked vehicle at 12:33 a.m. when shots were fired in an alley in the 10200 block of South Commercial, police said. The younger man was shot in the abdomen and the older man suffered a gunshot wound to his left knee. Both were taken to Trinity Hospital, where their conditions were stabilized.

At least five more people were wounded in shootings since Friday evening. Last weekend, 19 people were shot — five of them fatally.

DCG

Monsters: Missouri couple accused of microwaving 2-weeks-old baby

Some say there is no such thing as evil.

But a young Missouri couple show otherwise.

On Nov. 27, 2017,  Mikala and Derick Boyce-Slezak of Park Hills, Missouri, both 22 years old, were charged with felony child abuse after their son – who was less than two weeks old at the time – was taken to a hospital on April 11 for a rash on his face, according to court papers obtained by the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

Doctors determined the infant had a first-degree burn on his left cheek, a second-degree burn on his scalp, a skull fracture, and a small hematoma — a head injury that can cause swelling on the brain. It was later found that the infant had another fracture, the Daily Journal reports.

Mikala at first claimed that the second-degree burn was the result of someone cleaning the infant’s face with a towel that contained a bleach-type disinfectant. When asked about the head injuries and bruising, she invoked her Fifth Amendment rights.

Then an employee of the Children’s Division of the Missouri Department of Social Services testified that Mikala had previously stated she intended to testify that the head wounds were a result of Derick dropping the infant while trying to imitate what he saw on a television commercial, and that Mikala believes Derick had placed the infant in a microwave and turned it on for a “short period of time.”

Jailed on $500,000 bail, Derick and Mikala Boyce-Slezak were arraigned on December 5.

According to the St. Francois County prosecutor’s office, the child is in stable condition and undergoing laser treatment for skin issues from the burns. But he has “developmental issues” due to his head injuries and is expected to have a long road to recovery – from months to perhaps years.

Sources: New York Post; CBS12 KFVS

~Eowyn

Family members of Berlin Christmas terrorist attack receive bills from government

berlin terrorist attack

Bureaucracy doing what it does best.

From News.com.au: Those whose sons, daughters and loved ones were killed by a terrorist plunging a hijacked truck through a Christmas market in 2016 thought at the very least they’d get a letter of condolence from their leader.

Instead, almost a year after the Berlin Christmas market terror attack, relatives of the 12 Germans killed in the attack have received bills for identifying the dead bodies and threats to call the debt collectors in.

They received limited compensation and not an official word, or letter of condolence, from German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

Merkel failed them, say the grieving relatives of the 12, who have vented their anger in a withering letter accusing the Chancellor of “political inaction” and of failing to reach out to the bereaved.

Almost a year after the attack, we note that you have not shared your condolences with us either in person or in writing. In our opinion, this means that you are not doing justice to your office,” read the letter, published by weekly magazine Der Spiegel on Friday.

“In failing to do so, we believe, you are failing to live up to your high office … It is a question of respect, decency and, finally, a matter of course that you as the head of government should acknowledge to us the loss of our family members through an act of terror.”

Among those venting their anger, frustration and grief are Sigrid and Hans-Georg Rheinsberg. Their daughter, Doris, was killed in the attack by a jihadist asylum-seeker Anis Amri.

The only official communication they’ve had is an invoice from the forensic medicine department demanding €51 ($80) for identifying the body of their daughter. And a very official warning that if they didn’t pay it in 30 days, a debt collector would be hired.

Hans-Georg Rheinsberg told the magazine: “Ms. Merkel embraced the refugees, but she left us out in the cold.”

The letter says the bereaved were neglected by their government after the attack.

Accusing the Chancellor of “failing to live up” to the responsibility of her office, it notes how she and other dignitaries attended a rushed mass at the Memorial Church, a Berlin landmark in the heart of the Christmas market, while relatives of the victims were desperately struggling to find out whether their loved ones were among the casualties. Some waited for days to be informed.

The letter contrasts how other nations dealt with the five foreign dead: the Italian President attended the transfer of the remains of one of the victims; the Polish president knelt in front of the coffin of the truck driver murdered by Amri. Israel, home to another victim, passed a law giving financial support to families of terror targets overseas.

Meanwhile, the injured German survivors of the attack are also angry: while the killer received state support, some of the 70 injured have not yet been compensated for massive medical bills.

The German government has so far paid out $1.9 million to those wounded in the attack and to the victims’ families, according to the justice ministry.

Merkel’s office reacted swiftly to the public damnation, her spokesman saying on Monday she will this month hold her first face-to-face meeting with relatives on December 189 — one day before the anniversary of the attack.

Government spokesman Steffen Seibert said Merkel will listen to their grievances and see “which lessons can be learned” at the December 18 meeting.

He claimed the meeting was scheduled before the open letter was sent, nevertheless, “the letter shows how useful and urgent this meeting is”, Seibert said.

The letter had harsh words for the security “failings” that allowed Amri, a failed asylum seeker from Tunisia, to carry out the attack, the deadliest yet in Germany to be claimed by the Islamic State group.

Authorities missed a number of opportunities to arrest and deport the known drug dealer with connections to radical Islamists, who escaped detection by skipping across German state lines and using different identities.

On the day of the attack, he hijacked a truck and murdered its Polish driver before ploughing the vehicle through the market on his deadly drive. He was shot and killed four days later by Italian police in Milan.

The annual Christmas market at Berlin’s Breitscheidplatz reopened last week with new security measures in place, including concrete barriers and a heightened police presence.

DCG