Tag Archives: Saskatchewan

Two duck hunters from Prince Albert

This is a true story,  first published in the Saskatoon Star-Phoenix.

A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator from Merlin Motors in  Saskatoon for $42,500 (with monthly payments of $560).

Driving the new Lincoln Navigator, equipped with shotguns and accompanied by his dog, the guy and a friend go duck hunting at Tobin Lake in mid-October. This being Saskatchewan, the lake is frozen.

The two guys decide they want to make a natural-looking water area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on.

Now making a hole in the ice large enough to invite a passing duck is going to take a little more power than the average drill auger can produce. So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40-second fuse.

Afraid they might slip on the ice while trying to run away after lighting the fuse, our two rocket scientists decide on the following course of action:

  • They light the 40-second fuse.
  • Then, with a mighty thrust, they throw the stick of dynamite as far away as possible.

Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the Navigator, the guns, and the dog? Let’s talk about the dog….

A Black Labrador bred for retrieving — especially good at retrieving things thrown by his owner.

You guessed it: The dog takes off across the ice at a high rate of speed and grabs the stick of dynamite — with the burning 40-second fuse — just as it hits the ice.

The two men swallow, blink, start waving their arms and, with veins in their necks swelling to resemble stalks of rhubarb, scream and holler at the dog to stop.

The dog, now apparently cheered on by his master, keeps coming.

One guy panics, grabs the shotgun, and shoots the dog.

But the shotgun is loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough to stop a black Lab.

The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, then continues on.

Another shot, and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinking the two men have gone insane. So the dog takes off to find cover — under the brand new Navigator.

The men continue to scream as they run.

The red hot exhaust pipe on the truck touches the dog’s rear end. He yelps, drops the dynamite under the truck and takes off after his master.

BOOM!!!!

The truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake, leaving the two idiots standing there with “I can’t believe this just happened” looks on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is not covered by the policy.

The man had yet to make the first of those $560 a month payment….

In case you are wondering, the dog is okay.

H/t beloved Joseph, who, happily, does not live in Saskatchewan.

~Eowyn

The Cowboy Solution

 

Don’t miss the end of this …. it’s the best part!


Cowboy Solution (This is Good) I really like the gasoline part!!!

Cowboy rules for:

Alberta, Saskatchewan, Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma,

Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Nebraska, Idaho, and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:

1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.


2. Turn your cap right, your head ain’t crooked.

3. Let’s get this straight: it’s called a ‘gravel road.’ I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you’re gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.


4. They are cattle. That’s why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don’t like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We’re impressed. We have $350,000 combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It’s called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin’ in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don’t have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It’s available at the corner bait shop.

9. The ‘Opener’ refers to the first day of deer season. It’s a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That’s applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there’s no ‘vegetarian special’ on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah … We don’t care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat… IT AIN’T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring ‘Coke’ into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring ‘Mary Jane’ into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don’t hit the water hazards – it spooks the fish.

16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain’t music, anyway. We don’t want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!

The COWBOY Solution to

save Gasoline.

OBAMA wants us to cut the amount of gasoline we use…..

The best way to stop using so much gasoline is to deport 15 million illegal immigrants!

That would be 15 million less people using our gas.
The price of gas would come down…..
Bring our troops home from Afghanistan to guard the borders….

When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the Border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Afghanistan …..

Tell him if he wants to come to AMERICA then he must serve a tour in OUR military….

Give him a soldier’s pay while he’s there and tax him on it……

After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country…..
He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal resident…..
This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Afghanistan and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves. …….

If they refuse to serve, ship them to Afghanistan anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo.

Problem solved…..

~Steve~ H/T Eowyns Good Friend Sol