Tag Archives: India

Happy New Year Chuckles.

Happy New Year To all at FOTM.   :D


A New Year Prayer For the Elderly

God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.

New Year’s Day Prayer for One and All

Dear Lord

So far this year I’ve done well.

I haven’t gossiped, I haven’t lost my temper, I haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I’m very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I’m going to get out of bed, and from then on I’m probably going to need a lot more help.


A New Year’s Wish

On New Year’s Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.

Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck – the bartender was almost crushed to death

Lecture Tour with A Difference

On New Year’s Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. ‘What are you doing out here at four o’clock in the morning?’ asked the police officer.

‘I’m on my way to a lecture,’ answered Roger.

‘And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year’s Eve?’ enquired the constable sarcastically.

‘My wife,’ slurred Daniel grimly.

Happy New Year



Persecuted by militant Islam, Christianity is close to extinction in Middle East

Nothing can be sadder in this Christmas season than the news that Christianity is facing imminent extinction in the land of its birth.

And the cause is the systematic and mounting persecution of Christians by militant Muslims. In fact, persecution by the “religion of peace” is now the greatest threat to Christians across the world.


reports for The Telegraph, Dec. 23, 2012, that a new report entitled Christianophobia, by the think tank Civitas says “It is generally accepted that many faith-based groups face discrimination or persecution to some degree. A far less widely grasped fact is that Christians are targeted more than any other body of believers” and suffer greater hostility across the world than any other religious group. As many as 200 million Christians, or 10 per cent of Christians worldwide, are “socially disadvantaged, harassed or actively oppressed for their beliefs.”

The most common threat to Christians abroad is militant Islam. The “lion’s share” of persecution faced by Christians is in countries where Islam is the dominant faith. “Muslim-majority” states make up 12 of the 20 countries judged to be “unfree” on the grounds of religious tolerance by Freedom House, the human rights think tank.

Quoting estimates that between a half and two-thirds of Christians in the Middle East have left the region or been killed in the past century, the Civitas report concludes “There is now a serious risk that Christianity will disappear from its biblical heartlands.”

The report identifies a fear among oppressive regimes that Christianity is a “Western creed” which can be used to undermine them. The report catalogs hundreds of attacks on Christians by religious fanatics over recent years, focusing on seven countries: Egypt, Iraq, Pakistan, Nigeria, India, Burma and China.

  • Converts from Islam face being killed in Saudi Arabia, Mauritania and Iran, or risk severe legal penalties in other countries across the Middle East.
  • In Iraq, the 2003 U.S.-led invasion of Iraq left Iraqi Christians “more vulnerable than ever”, highlighted by the 2006 beheading of a kidnapped Orthodox priest, Fr Boulos Iskander, and the kidnapping of 17 other priests and two bishops between 2006 and 2010. “In most cases, those responsible declared that they wanted all Christians to be expelled from the country,” the report says.
  • In Pakistan, the murder last year of Shahbaz Bhatti, the country’s Catholic minister for minorities, “vividly reflected” religious intolerance in Pakistan. Shortly after his death it emerged that Mr Bhatti had recorded a video in which he declared: “I am living for my community and for suffering people and I will die to defend their rights. I prefer to die for my principles and for the justice of my community rather than to compromise. I want to share that I believe in Jesus Christ, who has given his own life for us.”
  • In India, Christians have faced years of violence from Hindu extremists. In 2010 scores of attacks on Christians and church property were carried out in Karnataka, a state in south west India.
  • In Burma, while many people are aware of the oppression faced in Burma by Aung San Suu Kyi and other pro-democracy activists, little exposure has been given to targeted abuse of Christians. In some areas of Burma the government has clamped down on Christian protesters by restricting the building of new churches. Christians employed in government service who openly profess their faith “find it virtually impossible to get promotion.”
  • In China, where more Christians are imprisoned than in any other country in the world, state hostility towards Christianity is particularly rife. Ma Hucheng, an advisor to the Chinese government, claimed in an article last year that the US has backed the growth of the Protestant Church in China as a vehicle for political dissidence. Writing in the China Social Sciences Press, Ma claims that “Western powers, with America at their head, deliberately export Christianity to China and carry out all kinds of illegal evangelistic activities. Their basic aim is to use Christianity to change the character of the regime…in China and overturn it.”

But the persecution and oppression of Christians in Muslim countries is often ignored by the media because of a fear that criticism will be seen as “racism”. Politicians, too, have been “blind” to the extent of violence faced by Christians in Africa, Asia and the Middle East.

Rupert Shortt, journalist and author of the Civitas report who’s a visiting fellow of Blackfriars Hall, Oxford, says:

“Exposing and combating the problem ought in my view to be political priorities across large areas of the world. That this is not the case tells us much about a questionable hierarchy of victimhood. The blind spot displayed by governments and other influential players is causing them to squander a broader opportunity. Religious freedom is the canary in the mine for human rights generally.”


Your Helpful Customer Service, At Last!

We’ve all talked to this guy.

At last, we have a picture of him.

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India.

The Personnel Manager said, “Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.”

Mujibar steeled himself and said, “I am ready.”

The manager said, “Make a sentence  using the words YellowPink, and Green.”

Mujibar said, “The telephone goes green, green,
And I pink it up, and say, Yellow, this is Mujibar.”

Mujibar now works at a call center.

No doubt you have spoken to him. I know I have.

H/t beloved fellow Joseph!


FaceBook for Seniors.


The 76-year-old woman walked down the hallway of Clearview Addictions Clinic, searching for the right department. She passed signs for the “Heroin Addiction Department (HAD),” the “Smoking Addiction Department (SAD)” and the “Bingo Addiction Department (BAD).” Then she spotted the department she was looking for: “Facebook Addiction Department (FAD).”

It was the busiest department in the clinic, with about three dozen people filling the waiting room, most of them staring blankly into their Blackberries and iPhones. A middle-aged man with unkempt hair was pacing the room, muttering,”I need to milk my cows. I need to milk my cows.”

A twenty-something man was prone on the floor, his face buried in his hands, while a curly-haired woman comforted him.

“Don’t worry. It’ll be all right.”

“I just don’t understand it. I thought my update was LOL-worthy, but none of my friends even clicked the ‘like’ button.”

“How long has it been?”

“Almost five minutes. That’s like five months in the real world.”

The 76-year-old woman waited until her name was called, then followed the receptionist into the office of Alfred Zulu, Facebook Addiction Counselor.

“Please have a seat, Edna,” he said with a warm smile. “And tell me how it all started.”

“Well, it’s all my grandson’s fault. He sent me an invitation to join Facebook. I had never heard of Facebook before, but I thought it was something for me, because I usually have my face in a book.”

“How soon were you hooked?”

“Faster than you can say ‘create a profile.’ I found myself on Facebook at least eight times each day — and more times at night. Sometimes I’d wake up in the middle of the night to check it, just in case there was an update from one of my new friends in India . My husband didn’t like that. He said that friendship is a precious thing and should never be outsourced.”

“What do you like most about Facebook?”

“It makes me feel like I have a life. In the real world, I have only five or six friends, but on Facebook, I have 674. I’m even friends with Juan Carlos Montoya.”

“Who’s he?”

“I don’t know, but he’s got 4,000 friends, so he must be famous.”

“Facebook has helped you make some connections, I see.”

“Oh yes. I’ve even connected with some of the gals from high school — I still call them ‘gals.’ I hadn’t heard from some of them in ages, so it was exciting to look at their profiles and figure out who’s retired, who’s still working, and who’s had some work done. I love browsing their photos and reading their updates. I know where they’ve been on vacation, which movies they’ve watched, and whether they hang their toilet paper over or under. I’ve also been playing a game with some of them.”

“Let me guess. Farmville?”

“No, Mafia Wars. I’m a Hitman. No one messes with Edna.”

“Wouldn’t you rather meet some of your friends in person?”

“No, not really. It’s so much easier on Facebook. We don’t need to gussy ourselves up. We don’t need to take baths or wear perfume or use mouthwash. That’s the best thing about Facebook — you can’t smell anyone. Everyone is attractive, because everyone has picked a good profile pic. One of the gals is using a profile pic that was taken, I’m pretty certain, during the Eisenhower Administration. ”

“What pic are you using?”

“Well, I spent five hours searching for a profile pic, but couldn’t find one I really liked. So I decided to visit the local beauty salon.”

“To make yourself look prettier?”

“No, to take a pic of one of the young ladies there. That’s what I’m using.”

“Didn’t your friends notice that you look different?”

“Some of them did, but I just told them I’ve been doing lots of yoga.”

“When did you realize that your Facebooking might be a problem?”

“I realized it last Sunday night, when I was on Facebook and saw a message on my wall from my husband: ‘I moved out of the house five days ago. Just thought you should know.'”

“What did you do?”

“What else? I unfriended him of course!”

~Steve~             H/T   Our Own Joseph.


Earth to satellite: When will you hit — and where?

By MARCIA DUNN – AP Aerospace Writer | AP – 11 hrs ago

I don’t know about you but 1 in 3200 is not that bad. You have a better chance of getting hit with space junk than the lottery or getting struck by lightning.

~ Steve~                                    H/T  igor


By MARCIA DUNN – AP Aerospace Writer | AP – 11 hrs ago

CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida (AP) — NASA scientists are doing their best to tell us where a plummeting six-ton satellite will fall later this week. It’s just that if they’re off a little bit, it could mean the difference between hitting Florida or landing on New York. Or, say, Iran or India.

Pinpointing where and when hurtling space debris will strike is an imprecise science. For now, scientists predict the earliest it will hit is Thursday U.S. time, the latest Saturday. The strike zone covers most of Earth.

Not that citizens need to take cover. The satellite will break into pieces, and NASA put the chances that somebody somewhere will get hurt at just 1-in-3,200.

As far as anyone knows, falling space debris has never injured anyone. Nor has significant property damage been reported. That’s because most of the planet is covered in water and there are vast regions of empty land.

If you do come across what you suspect is a satellite piece, NASA doesn’t want you to pick it up. The space agency says there are no toxic chemicals present, but there could be sharp edges. Also, it’s government property. It’s against the law to keep it as a souvenir or sell it on eBay. NASA’s advice is to report it to the police.

For rest of story Pls Go HERE!!!!

College Chancellor Has S-M Torture Dungeon in House

Higher education is so edifying!

In the course of a raid by federal immigration agents, it came to light that the Chancellor of the University of Northern Virginia (UNVA) — a controversial for-profit school suspected of aiding and abetting in immigration visa fraud — is a fetish of kinky sadomasochist sex who’s transformed the basement of his suburban home into a dungeon complete with bondage racks.

The Smoking Gun reports on August 1, 2011, that in addition to being UNVA’s chancellor, 64-year-old David V. Lee (pictured above) is also the chair of its board of trustees.

Lee and his girlfriend “polyfamilyinva2”recently advertised online on collarme.com, which describes itself as the “largest BDSM Community on the Planet,” seeking “attractive submissive” women who —

“wish to be part of our poly family. Ideally you will consider yourself a slave or a sub with slave tendencies. We enjoy almost all kinks, and are expert in most of them. But for us it is more the submission and commitment that matter. We provide a safe, sane home with a good balance of love and discipline. We are very serious about finding a permanent addition to our poly family. We are in excellent health and in excellent shape.”

The couple’s profile included an assortment of photos showing them in a variety of poses. In two pictures, Lee is placing a flame near the body of a naked woman wearing a bondage mask. In another photo, a shirtless Lee is seen flexing in a mirror. Another photo shows Lee’s immaculate dungeon with its polished wood floors and bondage racks. Other images from the couple’s online profile show Lee’s girlfriend attached to a wooden rack and caught in a metal spider web. Another image shows Lee’s girlfriend astride another woman, who appears to be gagged with an extension cord.

Other photos are more mundane, showing the couple at home in Santa hats and attending a holiday party.

UNVA is unaccredited, which means no accrediting body that is recognized by U.S. authorities has accredited this for-profit school. A March 2011 article in the authoritative The Chronicle of Higher Education compared UNVA’s enrollment practices and business model to those of Tri-Valley University, a California institution that was forced to close after facing an investigation for visa fraud. The Chronicle article states that UNVA enrolls Indian students who work full-time in “internships,” without being required to attend actual classes. About 90% of UNVA’s students were from India who paid between $5,000 and $10,000 for admission.

In a day-long exercise, dozens of officials from different federal agencies, including Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and FBI, raided offices at UNVA’s Annadale campus and took away with them a large number of boxes full of documents and computer hard drives from its administrative division.

The ICE probe is examining whether UNVA, which was founded in 1998, has exploited visa loopholes to enroll foreign students. Investigators are seeking to determine whether some students attended classes or just used enrollment in UNVA as a method of gaining entry to the United States. During the July 28 raid, UNVA officials were served with a notice temporarily blocking the school from enrolling any new foreign students.

H/t Fellowship’s lowtechgrannie!


Mid Week Chuckle.

One Sunday the policeman was sitting on the side of the highway and was waiting
to catch speeding drivers. The police officer saw a car driving along at 22 MPH.
He thought to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!”
he turned on his lights and pulled the driver over. When he approached the car,
he noticed that there were five little old Indian ladies – two of them were in
the front seat and three in the back with wide eyes and they were white as
ghosts. The driver was obviously confused and said to him, “Officer, I don’t
understand, I was doing exactly! I always go exactly the speed limit. What seems
to be the problem?” “Madam,” the officer replies, “you weren’t speeding, but you
should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to
other drivers.”
“Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed
limit exactly! Twenty-two miles an hour!” the old Indian woman says a bit
The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle, explained to
her that “22” was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the
woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
before I let you go, Madam, I have to ask. Is everyone in this car OK? These
women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole
time,” the officer asks with concern.
“Oh, they’ll be all right, officer. We
just got off Route 119.”