The Real Deal From FOTM.
If you don’t Believe you get Bupkis!
By SERGE BIELANKO | December 3rd, 2012 at 4:23 pm
People who don’t believe in Santa Claus are starting to piss me off.
I mean, what gives, you guys?
Do you seriously refuse to believe that there is even a remote possibility that a robust, ageless, elfin-man with super magical powers and the ability to travel at the speed of light to deliver happiness to the children of the world exists?
I don’t get the whole ‘skeptical’ thing here.
What exactly is so hard to fathom about deer that fly anyway?
You think elves are something someone just happened to make up?
God, you’re jaded.
To each his own.
In my mind though, no matter how bad you have messed up in this life you’ve been living the last 20 or 50 or 70 years or whatever, you haven’t ever screwed things up nearly as bad as you did on that day long ago when you finally sighed into the afternoon wind and whispered to yourself those terribly tragic four words: “There is no Santa.”
Why do we do that to ourselves?
Why do we reach an age like 10 or 12 and all of the sudden question maybe the greatest tale we have ever been told? Is it some sort of twisted rite of passage? Are we supposed to feel cooler or, sakes alive, BE cooler once we’ve ‘followed the sheep’ and declared Santa Claus to be extinct?
It’s a mystery to me.
Just when we could use a friend like old Saint Nick to help guide us through The Age of Zits and The Prama™ (Prom Drama) Years, we turn around and thank him for his long dedication to our boundless joy by informing him that he is nothing but a bunch of bull.
Anyhow, I have to try and stem the tide here this year; I’ve got to do my part to try and bring at least a few of you back into the righteous fold of Kringleism (that unfettered belief in magical things).
See, as one of the few remaining adult believers (and also as former Vice-President of the Unofficial Santa Claus Fan Club, Southeastern Pennsylvania Chapter #828 from 2002-2003), I should think that I’ve been privy to a wee bit more of the truth about who Santa really is than most of you. Plus, as a father to two (count ‘em TWO!) die-hard SantaHeads, I feel like it’s my duty to try and save the last of the lovable legends before it’s all too late.
So listen up, people of Earth! Read the truth here today and then decided for yourselves!
You wanted the proof and I’ve got it.
Santa Claus is real: always was, always will be.
Department Store Magic
Most of us agree that department stores and the like all hire ‘Elves’ to play the role of Santa in the month leading up to Christmas. But recent revelations in Santa Believer Circles highlight this special photo from the Sears store in Duluth, MN 1964. In it, Mary and Bobby Richards stare into the eyes of what is largely believed to be the REAL Santa Claus in one of his very rare store appearances captured on film! Why do we think this? Because Bobby, now a respected brat salesman in Sheboygan, WI swears it.
A Picture In The Mail
Last Minute Trouble
The Greatest Photo Ever Taken?
Any Questions? I thought so.
~Steve~ H/T Katie C