Tag Archives: Golf

Don’t Pee On The Golf Course

money

A little old lady was walking down 
the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind 
her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while 
a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a 
policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 
bills falling out of that bag.” “Oh, really? Darn it!” 
said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I 
can find them. Thanks for telling me officer. “Well, now, 
not so fast,” said the cop. Where did you get all that 
money? You didn’t steal it, did you?”

“Oh, no, no”, said the old lady.

“You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course
A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in 
my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really 
tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 
‘why not make the best of it?” 

“So, now, I stand 
behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my 
hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing 
through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 
O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.” 

“Well, 
that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. 

OK. Good luck!” 

“Oh, by the way, what’s 
in the other bag?” 

“Not everybody 
pays.”

~Steve~                                H/T WildBillAlaska

 

Golf Joke

A man got on the bus with both of his front trouser pockets full of golfballs
and sat down next to a beautiful–you guessed it–blonde.

The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many glances from her, he said, “It’s golf balls.”

The blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, thinking deeply about what he had said.
After several minutes, unable to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked,
“Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?

~Steve~      H/T  LTG friend Charlotte.

Obama Blames Americans for Being Lazy

Obama spent the first two years of his presidency blaming George W. Bush for every and all problems. Now that we’re at the end of the third Obama year, blaming George is no longer a credible excuse. So Skippy has found a new scapegoat — the American people!

Dave Urbanski writes for The Blaze, Nov. 13, 2011:

For the third time in as many months, Obama chided the United States for lack of effort in the competition for business. At the annual Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation meetings in Honolulu Saturday, the president said the U.S. has been “lazy” about attracting new investments to its shores:

“But we’ve been a little bit lazy, I think, over the last couple of decades. We’ve kind of taken for granted — well, people will want to come here and we aren’t out there hungry, selling America and trying to attract new business into America.”

In October, the president told donors in San Francisco that Americans “have lost our ambition, our imagination, and our willingness to do the things that built the Golden Gate Bridge and Hoover Dam and unleashed all the potential in this country.”

Obama noted in September that the U.S. had “gotten a little soft’’ when it comes to competing in international markets.

This is the same Obama who isn’t exactly the model of a hard worker, having gone golfing 87 times in less than three years.

The same Obama whom the New York Post describes as having “workdays…[that] end early, often at 4 p.m.”, and who spends his free time conducting vanity searches of himself on the Internet.

The same Obama who has the final vote on, but is delaying approval of the TransCanada Co.’s construction of the $13 billion Keystone XL pipeline because of politics.

The pipeline could produce almost half a million gallons of crude oil a day and generate 20,000 direct jobs and a half-million indirect jobs, as well as injecting hundreds of millions of dollars into local communities. But Democrats, environmental groups, and Hollywood activists have targeted the project during three years of environmental reviews and legislative delays, despite being deemed environmentally sound.

For narcissists, it’s never their fault when things go wrong. Obama blames everyone but himself.

President Harry Truman had a sign on his desk which says: “The buck stops here.” This was meant to indicate that he didn’t ‘pass the buck‘ to anyone else but accepted personal responsibility for the way the country was governed.

Obama’s motto is: “The buck stops there.”

~Eowyn

Ed, Nancy, and Golf

Ed and Nancy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her.

When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart, Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home.

Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Nancy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Nancy was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.

On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Nancy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, “I guess you can tell I’m very much in love with you. I’d like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it’s only fair to warn you, I’m a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that’s going to be a problem for us, you’d better say so now!”

Nancy took a deep breath and responded, “Ed, that certainly won’t be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we’re being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I’ve been a hooker.”

“Oh wow! I see,” Ed replied.

He looked down at the table, was quiet for a moment.

Deep in serious thought then he added, “You know, it’s probably because you’re not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball.”

~Steve~      H/T   May

Guess what Skippy did today?

Take a wild guess

Two days after S&P downgraded our credit rating, and THE DAY AFTER we lost so many soldiers, this man must have needed to unwind.

Priorities…

DCG

Business as Usual…

Don’t worry, it’s all good…

What do you do when you are the leader of the US, the economy is tanking, and we’re in three wars right now?  Course you spend the weekend golfing! Via Keith Koffler at thewhitehousedossier.com:

Obama Golfs Twice This Weekend – 75th Time as President

President Obama today went golfing for the second time this weekend, an outing that also puts him at the three quarter century mark for total trips to the golf course as president. Obama’s 75 times golfing since Inauguration Day includes 17 outings this year. He made it 13 weekends in a row Saturday with a trip out to the Andrews Air Force Base course.

The president today was at the Fort Belvoir course, taking along a couple of his usual crew of younger staffers but also White House Chief of Staff William Daley.

Wonder if he made it to church?

DCG

Are you surprised?

Respectful

Obama Goes Golfing on Memorial Day

After laying a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and meeting with US Military families, President Obama headed to the golf course. This is his 12th golf outing this year and the 70th time during his presidency.

The decision to golf on Memorial Day invites comparison with President George W. Bush, who gave up the game early in his presidency and said he did it out of respect for the families of those killed in Iraq.

Any wonder why US military personnel and veterans give Obama low marks?

DCG

Just Another Day for President Obama

After 45 Americans Are Killed in TornadoesObama Goes Golfing – It was his 64th round.

While thousands of Americans were faced with the storms over the weekend (including our beloved Tom in NC), President Obama spent the day dealing with the tragedy golfing.

Yes, our President has his priorities straight. Can you imagine the outcry if President Bush had done this?

h/t @itsonlywords

DCG

Obama in Joker Mode as World Falls Apart

Pathological narcissism is a disorder described by the American Psychological Association’s Diagnostic Statistical Manual IV describes as “A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by 5 or more of the following:

  1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance.
  2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
  3. Believes that he or she is “special” & unique & can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions.
    Requires excessive admiration.
  4. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with her expectations.
  5. Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his/her own ends.
  6. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings & needs of others.
  7. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him/her.
  8. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.”

Even during the 2008 presidential campaign, there were those who tried in vain to warn Americans that the man of many names with whom they’re so besotted, Barack Hussein Steven Dunham Soetoro Obama, is a pathological narcissist.

Examples of Obama’s narcissistic arrogance and sheer grandiosity abound. After he was elected President and his Demonrat Party won control of Congress, Obama dismissed the two-party system, the concept of the loyal opposition, and America’s founding principle of checks and balances when he declared to Republicans upset with the $787 billion stimulus porkulus package: “Deal with it. I won, you lost.”

Then there is what Obama told Rep. Marion Berry about the looming midterm elections in 2010. Increasingly worried about how Democrats would fare on November 2, Berry and others pleaded with the White House not to force Blue Dogs (southern Dems) “off into that swamp” of supporting bills that would be unpopular with voters back home. Berry recounted what happened to Jane Fullerton of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette:

“I’ve been doing that with this White House, and they just don’t seem to give it any credibility at all. They just kept telling us how good it was going to be. The president himself, when that was brought up in one group, said, ‘Well, the big difference here and in ’94 was you’ve got me.’

We all know what happened on November 2 – how empty Obama’s grandiose boast turned out to be.

One of the attributes of pathological narcissism is a lack of empathy.

Empathy is the ability to put ourselves in someone’s shoes and feel the emotions they’re feeling — an ability inherent in human beings. Babies as young as days old already display a primitive type of empathy (called “global empathy”) when they cry in response to hearing another baby cry. Empathy is what makes us human.

But not all humans display empathy. Psychologists have found that sociopaths/psychopaths or those with Anti-Social Personality Disorder (ASPD) lack empathy. I worry about anyone who does not have empathy, especially if this individual is president, commander-in-chief, and the most powerful man in the world.

As the disaster in Japan goes from bad to worse every day — with entire villages demolished by the 9.1 earthquake and the 32-ft tsunami that followed; thousands reported dead, more thousands missing; and half a million made homeless – there is human suffering on a scale unprecedented since World War II.

What is Obama’s reaction? A strangely affect-less statement, read from a prepared script (that someone else wrote for him), displaying not a whiff of emotion, even less of anguished empathy:

But Obama had no problem showing plenty of affect as he yucks it up at the Gridiron dinner. Well, at least he’s being consistent. As oil spewed from the floor of the Gulf of Mexico last year, Obama also yucked it up at the White House Correspondents’ dinner. 

And as the situation with the damaged reactors in Japan’s Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant deteriorates by the day — the latest being this morning’s report that those 50 heroic workers who had gone into the plant have retreated because of the radiation rising to a level too dangerous even for them – Americans are more and more worried that a core meltdown will release a radiation cloud that will be carried by the jet stream to the U.S. west coast.

What is Obama doing about all this, as the world falls apart? Party like it’s 1999!

As Keith Koffler of White House Dossier observes in President Obama’s Trivial Pursuits,” March 15, 2011:

[A]s Japan’s nuclear crisis enters a potentially catastrophic phase, we are told that Obama is videotaping his NCAA tournament picks and that we’ll be able to tune into ESPN Wednesday to find out who he likes.

Saturday, he made his 61st outing to the golf course as president, and got back to the White House with just enough time for a quick shower before heading out to party with Washington’s elite journalists at the annual Gridiron Dinner.

With various urgencies swirling about him, Saturday’s weekly videotaped presidential address focusing on “Women’s History Month” seemed bizarrely out of touch.

Obama Friday took time out to honor the 2009-10 Stanley Cup Champion Chicago Blackhawks. Thursday was a White House conference on bullying – not a bad idea perhaps, but not quite Leader of the Free World stuff either. Obama appeared a little sleepy as he weighed in against the bullies, perhaps because he’d spent the night before partying with lawmakers as they took in a Chicago Bulls vs. Charlotte Bobcats game.

Meanwhile, the president has been studying for weeks whether to establish a No Fly Zone over Libya, delaying action while the point becomes increasingly moot as Qaddafi begins to defeat and slaughter his opponents. And lawmakers from both Parties are wondering why he seems to be AWOL in the deficit reduction debate…..

But the fun stuff won’t end anytime soon. On Thursday, the Taoiseach of Ireland will be in town to help the president celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. And then Friday it’s off to Brazil for the start of a three-country Latin American tour.

I trust the 52.9% of American voters who had voted for this “man” with ice in his heart are happy with what they accomplished.

God help us….

~Eowyn

Vote Wisely Or You Never Know

HEAVEN AND HELL

While walking down the street one day a corrupt Senator was tragically hit by a car and died. 

His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to Heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.” 

“No problem, just let me in,” says the Senator.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really?, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven,” says the Senator.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.” And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.  

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne. Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes. 

They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.  

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, “Now it’s time to visit Heaven.”

So, 24 hours pass with the head of state joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

“Well then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”

The senator reflects for a minute, then the senator answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.”

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

“Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”

The Devil smiles at him and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning. Today, you voted.” 

Vote wisely on November 2, 2010!
(Vote out the trash) 

~Steve~                            H/T I-Man