Category Archives: Idiots

And the Stoopid Criminal Darwin Award Goes to…


Suspected burglar stuck in Huron home’s chimney dies after residents light fire


A man who apparently got stuck in the chimney of a Huron home during a botched burglary attempt died Saturday after the homeowners lit a fire in the fireplace, the Fresno County Sheriff’s Office said.
Lt. Brandon Pursell said deputies received a 911 call to the 16000 block of West Gale Avenue just before 3 p.m. After lighting a fire, the male homeowner heard screaming coming from somewhere inside the house. When the resident realized a person was in the chimney, he extinguished the fire.

Deputies and firefighters had to smash the chimney to get the man out. He was pronounced dead at the scene. The Fresno County coroner will perform an autopsy to confirm a cause of death. The man’s identity is being withheld pending notification of his family.

Investigators believe he had attempted to break into the home sometime during the evening hours of Nov. 27. He had remained in the chimney all day.

Pursell said the home suffered smoke damage in addition to the busted chimney.


Ya know, The gene pool has a way of cleaning itself out – despite our best efforts to prevent it from doing so.

(h/t: Drudge)


A feminist’s recipe for sour dough bread (not recommended for those with a weak stomach)

I don’t recall how I happened upon this story…and I’m almost sorry I did. Yet it is an example of the lengths feminists will go to seek attention and to prove just how whacky they are.

WARNING: This is not for the faint of heart. Do not continue reading this post if you are eating or just ate. TRUST ME.






get any worse

There’s a woman by the name of Zoe Starvi who, according to her Twitter bio, is an Anarchist. Feminist. Queer. All angry. One of the nastiest trolls on here (apparently) She/her/hers. Views not representative of anywhere I work, obvs“.

On November 25th she tweeted out the following: “Baking and eating 

The hashtag alone should give you notice to proceed with caution (and an empty stomach).

The Daily Mail caught this tweet and reported on the aftermath it caused on Twitter. Here’s the story (your last warning!):

I don't think I'll ever be able to eat sourdough bread again...

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat sourdough bread again…

When a feminist blogger found herself suffering from a vaginal yeast infection, she made the unusual decision to use the unwanted bodily fluid as an ingredient for making bread.

Zoe Stavri, who writes under the title Another Angry Woman, has documented the details of her unusual baking experiment on social media and it’s caused something of a furor (shocker, not).

The feminist, who admits to having a ‘slightly perverse sense of humor’ and a ‘keenly scientific mind’, realized she was suffering from the yeast infection. Rather than resolve the issue with conventional treatment she would make the most of the additional yeast she was producing.

Using a sex aid to retrieve the yeast from her vagina, Stavri used it as a base ingredient for sour-dough, a loaf which often takes several days for the ‘starter’ dough to ferment. The experimental baker added her self-made ingredient to flour and water and then watched as the fermentation process began, taking pictures along the way.

Here’s her review of the final product:

“It tasted like a pretty damn nice sourdough bread. Not the tangiest sourdough I’ve ever eaten, but solidly tasty. I really, really liked it. After having a little bite, I ate a slice with butter. The bread was still slightly warm and the butter soaked in and it was absolutely heavenly. A lot of people on the internet seem to be under the impression it would taste like cunt. Of course it fucking didn’t. The only thing that really tastes like pussy is pussy. Given that this is a loaf of bread, obviously it didn’t taste like pussy. Learn biology, buddy.”

I cannot go into any more detail without wanting to throw up. If you feel so inclined to review the whole process, read her blog here.

If you are thinking of trying this recipe for your next family meal – don’t. HuffPo UK spoke with Dr Helen Webberley from Oxford Online Pharmacy who issued a few words of caution. She told HuffPost UK: “While moulds and funguses have been used in cooking for years, we should never consider eating anything that could contain human genetic material. The vagina hosts numerous bacteria and organisms, some of which can be infective. This is clearly a health hazard.



Spike Lee urges female college students to go on a “sex strike” to stop date rape

Conceal carry would be my preferred action to stop any rape or sexual assault. But that just me :)

Would you take advice from a man wearing this t-shirt?

Would you take advice from a man wearing this t-shirt?

Spike Lee has a brilliant solution to solve college campus sexual assaults: female students across the country should stage a ‘sex strike’ in a bid to stop sexual harassment on campus. He believes there is an abundance of sexual assaults and rapes on campus and says that women should take action to stop it.

Say anything to promote your movie...

Say anything to promote your movie…

The Daily Mail reports that Lee made these comments while appearing on the Stephen Colbert show to promote his new film “Chi-Raq“. Lee said, “I think a sex strike could really work on college campuses where there’s an abundance of sexual harassments or date rapes.”

Lee went on to say, “Once people coming back from Christmas and some stuff jumps off, there’s going to be sex strikes in universities and college campuses across this country.”

Lee’s movie idea isn’t even original: The film is based on Lysistrata, a Greek comedy play in which various women withhold physical affection from their husbands as punishment for fighting in war. Lee’s movie stars Samuel L. Jackson, Wesley Snipes and Nick Cannon. It follows four women who try and fight gun crime by refusing sex.

Mayor Rahm Emanuel isn’t happy with the title of the movie (truth hurts, I guess).  Emanuel said, ” I was clear that I was not happy about the title. I told him also that there are very good people that live in Englewood who are raising their family and there’s a lot of positive things that are happening in Englewood mainly driven by the people that make up Englewood.”

And even though Chicago has some of the strictest gun regulations in the United States, Spike Lee has another brilliant solution to the gun violence in Chiraq:

Great concept Spike! I’m sure all the criminals will be lining up to register their guns!



Free Ottawa yoga class scrapped over ‘cultural issues’

Just when you thought things couldn’t get more politically correct….


The Ottawa Sun has a story that will leave you flabbergasted. Because of “cultural appropriation”, student leaders have pulled the mat out from University of Ottawa students. The teachings of the free on-campus yoga class could be seen as a form of “cultural appropriation” and hence, offensive.

The instructor, Jennifer Scharf, had been offering free weekly yoga instruction to students since 2008. She was shocked when told in September the program would be suspended, and saddened when she learned of the reasoning.

Staff at the Centre for Students with Disabilities believe that “while yoga is a really great idea and accessible and great for students … there are cultural issues of implication involved in the practice,” according to an email from the center.  “Yoga has been under a lot of controversy lately due to how it is being practiced,” and which cultures those practices “are being taken from.”

are you serious

The centre official argues since many of those cultures “have experienced oppression, cultural genocide and diasporas due to colonialism and western supremacy … we need to be mindful of this and how we express ourselves while practising yoga.”

Scharf said the concept does not apply in this case, arguing the complaint that killed the program came instead from a “social justice warrior” with “fainting heart ideologies” in search of a cause celebre. “People are just looking for a reason to be offended by anything they can find,” said Scharf. There’s a real divide between reasonable people and those people just looking to jump on a bandwagon. And unfortunately, it ends up with good people getting punished for doing good things.”

Student federation president Romeo Ahimakin denied the decision resulted from a complaint.  He said the student federation put the yoga session on hiatus while they consult with students “to make it better, more accessible and more inclusive to certain groups of people that feel left out in yoga-like spaces. … We are trying to have those sessions done in a way in which students are aware of where the spiritual and cultural aspects come from, so that these sessions are done in a respectful manner.”

Scharf offered a solution, suggesting she change the name from yoga to “mindful stretching,” since that would reflect the content of the program and would “literally change nothing about the course.  I’m not pretending to be some enlightened yogi master, and the point (of the program) isn’t to educate people on the finer points of the ancient yogi scripture,” she told the Sun.

Student leaders, apparently having nothing better to do, debated rebranding the program, but stumbled over how the French translation for “mindful stretching” would appear on a promotional poster, and eventually decided to suspend the program.

Read the whole debacle here.


That settles it for me: Actress Kate Hudson says “Hillary is the best person to run the country”

Kate Hudson needs a new scriptwriter...

Kate Hudson needs a new scriptwriter…

Kate Hudson is starring in Campari’s annual calendar, in which they chose an election theme that they titled ‘The BitterSweet Campaign’, pitting a ‘bitter’ candidate against a ‘sweet’ one – both played by Kate – in honor of the two sides of the apéritif’s flavor profile.

The 36-year-old actress declared her own political party of choice, explaining why she will be voting for Hillary Clinton in 2016. “I think the best person in both parties to run the country is Hillary,” she said at a press event debuting the new calendar on Wednesday, adding that though she is probably more of ‘a centrist’, she’s registered as a Democrat.

“I think she’s just the best candidate. [She’s] what we need right now,” she added without hesitation. In fact, the actress has voiced her support of the Democratic frontrunner before, and co-hosted a fundraising event for Hillary with Zack Braff on November 6th.

Read the full article (which is just more fluff about her Campari photo shoot).

Hillary Clinton what difference does it make

Did you get that? Her explanations for Hillary are that she’s “the best person” and “the best candidate.” Kate’s handlers need to give her better lines to read about why she thinks Hillary is “what we need right now”. Because those words of wisdom just don’t cut it for me.


This Caption Contest is a T-Rex!

This is the 111th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic:

killer dinosaurs at computers

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box), not via email or on Facebook.
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM! :D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

Email scammers hard at work at an Internet café in Lagos, Nigeria.

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, Nov. 23, 2015.

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

Seen any pics that you think will make good fodder for our caption contests? Send it to us at:

Thank you!


Minnesota Democrat ends bid for state assembly seat after sympathetic Islamic State tweet

Lesson learned: Tweeting has consequences!

Dan Kimmel

Dan Kimmel

Fox reported that a Democratic candidate for the Minnesota House ended his campaign Sunday, hours after he tweeted that the Islamic State group “isn’t necessarily evil” and its members were doing what they thought was best for their community. Here’s what his tweet said (since deleted):

“ISIS isn’t necessarily evil. It is made up of people doing what they think is best for their community. Violence is not the answer, though.”

Dan Kimmel, 63, announced the end of his bid for office on his campaign website and Twitter account. He said Saturday evening’s tweet was in response to a statement made during a candidate debate, not in response to Friday’s violent attacks in Paris (yeah, right) that left more than 120 people dead and more than 350 wounded.

He said his tweet was poorly worded and didn’t convey his intent. “The tweet was stupid. I’m sorry,” he said in his statement. He was criticized on social media, and sent out another tweet later that said:  “I deplore the evil acts of ISIS. I do not defend their acts.”

Kimmel, who works in the technology and operations section at U.S. Bank, was challenging incumbent Drew Christensen, a Republican from Burnsville. Kimmel had lost the seat to Christensen last year.