Category Archives: Humor

Friday Funny: How to save Social Security

H/t FOTM’s josephbc69

~Eowyn

Saturday Unfunnies: Hillary for 2016

Send this post to your Democrat family and friends!

ClintonClinton2Clinton1Clinton3Clinton5Clinton6Clinton7Clinton8Clinton9Clintons

H/t FOTM’s maziel

~Eowyn

A Solution To Intrusive Drones

Drone, it's the new Skeet

Drone, it’s the new Skeet

The law is still very fuzzy on the safety and privacy issues associated with drones

So while the subject remains unsettled, please allow me to suggest one humorous answer. If a drone strays onto private property, like over a swimming pool or near a window, it should be considered a SKEET, and on presentation of its parts to local authorities, a bounty should be paid to the shooter.

When the drone’s owner arrives to claim drone parts, the owner may retrieve the fallen drone by paying a sum matching the bounty paid to the shooter.

Does this sound like a good idea?

PS: Of course, it is NOT a good idea. I am just trying to inject a little humor into the morning. But the availability of drones to a broad number of people will certainly become a problem to safety, privacy and even “homeland” security.

Interesting facts about bats!

Our planet is populated with plenty of bizarre and astonishing creatures.

Did you know this about bats? The latest newsletter from Texas Gardener Seeds has these interesting facts about bats:

  1. Bats consume 3,000 or more mosquitoes and other insects nightly.
  2. Bats are responsible for up to 95% of the seed dispersal essential to the regeneration of forests.
  3. Bats are less likely to be rabid than dogs are.

So put up a bat house to encourage the presence of these shy animals!

Here are three from the Bat Family:

bat1

Sucker-Footed Bat

bat2

Red-Winged Fruit Bat

bat3

Left-Winged Ding Bat

So 2 out of 3 bats have a useful purpose!

If we could just train him to eat mosquitoes . . . or do anything useful.

Wait!

There is one bat — a most destructive variety of the Left-Winged Ding Bat.

Hillary

The Vampire Bat

H/t FOTM‘s maziel!

~Eowyn

Here’s our first Eurotrash Caption Contest!

This is the 116th world famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic:

dutchmen in miniskirts protest Muslim sex assaults, Amsterdam, Jan. 16, 2016

The pic above — of men in miniskirts to show their “solidarity” with hundreds of German women who were sexually assaulted by Muslim men on New Year’s Eve in Cologne — was taken in Amsterdam, Netherlands, on Jan. 16, 2016.

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box), not via email or on Facebook.
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM:D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

“Imam Abdallah Al-Khalif recommends sodomy to widen Muslim men’s anus for jihad. We’ll gladly widen our anus for jihadists!”

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, Feb. 2, 2016.

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, click here.

Seen any pics that you think will make good fodder for our caption contests? Send it to us at:

FOTM4ever@gmail.com

Thank you!

~Éowyn

We have a winner!

. . . for FOTM’s 115th Caption Contest!

There were so many great captions. Y’all outdid yourselves for this contest!

As usual, FOTM‘s writers duly voted, each for what he/she considered to be the best (#1) and second-best (#2) captions. Each #1 vote is worth 3 points; each #2 vote is worth 2 points.

And the winner of FOTM’s 115th Caption Contest, with three #1 votes, totaling 9 points, is . . .

Snoopy dancesquirrelmistress!

Here is her winning caption:

obama lightsaber

Joe is in 2nd place, with one #1 vote and one #2 vote, totaling 5 points. Here is his caption:

I’m ready to attack ISIS!

Kevin J. Lankford is in 3rd place, with two #2 votes, totaling 4 points. Here is his caption:

Yes, the force is with me, Moochi. The force of the Supreme Court. The force of Congress. The force of the Senate. The force of the CIA. The force of the FBI. The force of the Secret Service. The force of all my military. And yes, Even the force of my powerful media.

japoa and MomOfIV are both in 4th place, each with one #1 vote and 3 points. Here are their respective captions:

“Oh my Mr.President, what a big rod you have” . . . . All the better to screw with the American people.

May the “farts” be with you…and you alone, Obama.

Captain America, chemtrailssuck, and MoFrappy are all in 5th place, each with one #2 vote and 2 points. Here are their respective captions:

“Zero,” the gay blade!

“May the farce of what we’re doing be with you ALL…”

Barry shows the world what’s been hiding in Michelle’s pants.

Well done, everyone!

Congratulations, squirrelmistress!

Here’s your fancy-schmancy Award Certificate of Great Excellence, all ready for framing! LOL

StrawberrydancingbananaCarrotChilliMuffinPurpleBanana PineappledancingbananaCarrotChilliMuffinPineappleStrawberry

award certificate1

For all the other caption submissions, go here.

Be here tomorrow for our next very exciting Caption Contest!

Seen any good pics that you think would be great for our Caption Contest? Email them to us! :D

FOTM4ever@gmail.com

~Éowyn

Cause of Tourette’s Syndrome Discovered

*%$**!!!xx!

Research by an unreliable source near Boston has concluded that Tourette’s Syndrome may be triggered by certain images flashed too frequently past an otherwise healthy individual.

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Scroll Down With Caution!!!

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Muy Peligroso!!!

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hellery