Category Archives: Humor

Wednesday Funny: This dog is not for sale

In response to all the recent e-mails and notes left in our mailbox about our dog:

Please be advised, I am sick and tired of answering questions about him.

Yes, he bit 6 people wearing Obama t-shirts, 4 people wearing “Hillary 2016” t-shirts, 2 drivers of cars with “Obama 2012” bumper stickers, 4 teenagers with pants hanging past the cracks of their ass, 3 flag burners, and a Muslim in a burqa.


smoking dog

No, I do not approve of his smoking, but he says it helps get the bad taste from all the biting out of his mouth.

H/t FOTM’s maziel


Paris high fashion Caption Contest!

This is the 108th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic:

Rick Owens fashion show model wears model

The above pic was taken at designer Rick Owens fashion show on Oct. 1, 2015, which kicked off Paris Fashion Week. (Source) Last year, Owens’ show featured a penis-baring dress for men.

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box), not via email or on Facebook.
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM! :D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

As Monique hung on for dear life, she suddenly remembered she had forgotten to take her Beano that morning….

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, Oct. 13, 2015.

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

Seen any pics that you think will make good fodder for our caption contests? Send it to us at:

Thank you!


We have a winner!

. . . for FOTM’s 107th Caption Contest!

So many funny and clever captions for the judges to choose from!

As usual, the FOTM writers duly voted, each for what he/she considered to be the best (#1) and second-best (#2) captions. Each #1 vote is worth 3 points; each #2 vote is worth 2 points.

And the winner of FOTM’s 107th Caption Contest, with four #1 votes, totaling 12 points is . . .

Captain America! Snoopy dance

Here’s his winning caption:

Tranny Obama

japoa is in 2nd place, with one #1 vote and three #2 votes, totaling 9 points. Here’s his caption:

Can I show you my rainbow panties ?

Deirdre is in 3rd place, with two #2 votes, totaling 4 points. Here’s her caption:

Anything Bruce can do, I can do better.

Beverly is in 4th place, with one #1 vote, totaling 3 points. Here’s her caption:

I HOPE to fundamentally CHANGE the character of this nation.

Deb and Kevin are both in 5th place, each with one #2 vote and 2 points. Here are their respective captions:

If Obama had a transvestite son, he would look like this.

I’m hoping for my picture on the new “DORITOS” label.

Well done, everyone!

Congratulations, Captain America!

Here’s your fancy-schmancy Award Certificate of Great Excellence, all ready for framing! LOL

StrawberrydancingbananaCarrotChilliMuffinPurpleBanana PineappledancingbananaCarrotChilliMuffinPineappleStrawberry

award certificate1

For all the other caption submissions, click here.

Be here tomorrow for our next very exciting caption contest!

Seen any good pics that you think would be great for our Caption Contest? Email them to us! :D


Moment of relief at supermarket checkout



For the first time in months there were no pictures of Caitlyn Jenner on any magazine covers

BruceLyn Jenner on Vanity Fair cover

BruceLyn Jenner on Vanity Fair cover

BruceLyn Jenner’s 15 minutes of fame may be coming to an end 

Sorry Mr. Jenner. I do say prayers for you. But you have been used to pervert our culture, and have been a very effective tool.

How moral are you? Take this definitive test!

Are you as moral as you think you are?

This test only has one question, but it’s a very important one.

By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.

Only you will know the results, so remember that your answer needs to be honest.

fork in the road


You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper.

You find yourself in Miami, Florida, where a hurricane is raging.

There is chaos all around you — gale-force wind, torrential rain, and severe flooding. A flood of biblical proportions. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for you to shoot career-making photos.

There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.


Suddenly, from your boat, you see a man in the water, about to go under. He is desperately fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.

You paddle closer . . . .

The man looks familiar.

You suddenly realize who it is.

It’s Barack Obama!

He goes under the roiling flood water. Then his head emerges. He gasps for air and yells, “Help! Help!”


You can (A) save the life of Barack Obama; or (B) you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world’s most powerful men  who is hell bent on destroying America.


Here’s the question, and please give an honest answer.




“Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?”

H/t FOTM’s maziel


Thursday Funny! Atheists sue pole

atheists sue telephone pole

We think it funny, but I won’t be surprised if some insane leftwing group — ACLU, Mikey Weinstein’s Military Religious Freedom [sic] Foundation, or the Satanic Temple — will actually do this some day.

This is my message to them:

crucifix repels vampire

H/t John Molloy


A wonderful take on the Super Moon

Brenton Dickieson’s blog, “A Pilgrim in Narnia,” has been a source of much wonderful reading and insight into some favorite authors, like Lewis and Tolkien. When I saw he was taking on the Apocalypse I had to read it. And I was not disappointed.

A Beautiful Night for an Apocalypse

Last night was the Supermoon, that time in the moon’s elliptical orbit when it is at its closest to earth and looks about 14% bigger. Last night was also a full lunar eclipse, which happened within 3 minutes of a full moon, and the sky was absolutely clear. It was also a family friendly double bill at the Drive In. And, if you think the coincidences could not continue, it was the “trunk or treat” special night at the Drive In. How cool is that?

This perigee-syzygy of the Earth-Moon-Sun system—we call it a “Supermoon” because saying perigee-syzygy makes it sound like our lips are frozen shut—combined with an eclipse is a pretty rare event. The odds of this event in the heavens being combined with a family fun double feature with free candy thrown in are astronomical.

It was quite a night. An amazing night. An apocalyptic night, really.

Read the rest at