Category Archives: Humor

Moment of relief at supermarket checkout



For the first time in months there were no pictures of Caitlyn Jenner on any magazine covers

BruceLyn Jenner on Vanity Fair cover

BruceLyn Jenner on Vanity Fair cover

BruceLyn Jenner’s 15 minutes of fame may be coming to an end 

Sorry Mr. Jenner. I do say prayers for you. But you have been used to pervert our culture, and have been a very effective tool.

How moral are you? Take this definitive test!

Are you as moral as you think you are?

This test only has one question, but it’s a very important one.

By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.

Only you will know the results, so remember that your answer needs to be honest.

fork in the road


You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper.

You find yourself in Miami, Florida, where a hurricane is raging.

There is chaos all around you — gale-force wind, torrential rain, and severe flooding. A flood of biblical proportions. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for you to shoot career-making photos.

There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.


Suddenly, from your boat, you see a man in the water, about to go under. He is desperately fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.

You paddle closer . . . .

The man looks familiar.

You suddenly realize who it is.

It’s Barack Obama!

He goes under the roiling flood water. Then his head emerges. He gasps for air and yells, “Help! Help!”


You can (A) save the life of Barack Obama; or (B) you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world’s most powerful men  who is hell bent on destroying America.


Here’s the question, and please give an honest answer.




“Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?”

H/t FOTM’s maziel


Thursday Funny! Atheists sue pole

atheists sue telephone pole

We think it funny, but I won’t be surprised if some insane leftwing group — ACLU, Mikey Weinstein’s Military Religious Freedom [sic] Foundation, or the Satanic Temple — will actually do this some day.

This is my message to them:

crucifix repels vampire

H/t John Molloy


A wonderful take on the Super Moon

Brenton Dickieson’s blog, “A Pilgrim in Narnia,” has been a source of much wonderful reading and insight into some favorite authors, like Lewis and Tolkien. When I saw he was taking on the Apocalypse I had to read it. And I was not disappointed.

A Beautiful Night for an Apocalypse

Last night was the Supermoon, that time in the moon’s elliptical orbit when it is at its closest to earth and looks about 14% bigger. Last night was also a full lunar eclipse, which happened within 3 minutes of a full moon, and the sky was absolutely clear. It was also a family friendly double bill at the Drive In. And, if you think the coincidences could not continue, it was the “trunk or treat” special night at the Drive In. How cool is that?

This perigee-syzygy of the Earth-Moon-Sun system—we call it a “Supermoon” because saying perigee-syzygy makes it sound like our lips are frozen shut—combined with an eclipse is a pretty rare event. The odds of this event in the heavens being combined with a family fun double feature with free candy thrown in are astronomical.

It was quite a night. An amazing night. An apocalyptic night, really.

Read the rest at

Monday Funny! How do you define ‘politically correct’?

Americans, nay, the entire Western world, is plagued with the scourge of “Political Correctness” — a plague worsening by the day especially in our college and universities where hyper-sensitive quick-to-take-offense delicate-little-peach-blossoms now label any and every thing to be “micro aggression”.

Alas, there is no clear definition of what constitutes “political correctness” and even less of “micro aggression.”

We are awash in a sea of linguistic vagueness.

So I decided to do a little research, and after two weeks of chasing fruitless
leads, I finally found what I’d been looking for at the Truman Library and Museum in Independence, Missouri!

A helpful library staff member who, understandably, wishes to remain anonymous, sent me copies of four telegrams between then-President Harry Truman and General Douglas MacArthur on the day before Japan’s signing of the WWII Surrender Agreement in September 1945.

Below are the four telegrams. Not a word has been added or deleted!

(1) Tokyo, Japan
0800-September 1, 1945

To: President Harry S Truman
From: General D A MacArthur

Tomorrow we meet with those yellow-bellied bastards and sign the Surrender Documents, any last minute instructions?

(2) Washington, D C
1300-September 1, 1945

To: D A MacArthur
From: H S Truman

Congratulations, job well done, but you must tone down your obvious dislike of the Japanese when discussing the terms of the surrender with the press, because some of your remarks are fundamentally not politically correct!

(3) Tokyo, Japan
1630-September 1, 1945

To: H S Truman
From: D A MacArthur and C H Nimitz

Wilco Sir, but both Chester and I are somewhat confused, exactly what does the term politically correct mean?

(4) Washington, D C
2120-September 1, 1945

To: D A MacArthur/C H Nimitz
From: H S Truman

Political Correctness is a doctrine, recently fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and promoted by a sick mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end.

There you have it — the historical, definitive definition of what “political correctness” means, with special thanks to the Truman Museum and Harry himself. Here’s a helpful visual aid!


H/t FOTM’s Glenn47


Can you handle this Caption Contest?

This is the 107th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic (h/t maziel):

Tranny Obama

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box), not via email or on Facebook.
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM! :D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

Obama comes out of the closet as he delivers his final address to the American people on January 19, 2017.

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, Sept. 29, 2015.

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

Seen any pics that you think will make good fodder for our caption contests? Send it to us at:

Thank you!


We have a winner!

. . . for FOTM’s 106th Caption Contest!

So many funny and clever captions for the judges to choose from!

As usual, the FOTM writers duly voted, each for what he/she considered to be the best (#1) and second-best (#2) captions. Each #1 vote is worth 3 points; each #2 vote is worth 2 points.

And the winner of FOTM’s 106th Caption Contest, with two #1 votes and two #2 vote, totaling 10 points is . . .

truckjunkie! Snoopy dance

Here’s his winning caption:

Trump Hildebeast

chulai1968 is in 2nd place, with two #1 votes and one #2 vote, totaling 8 points. Here’s his caption:

Donald Frump

Lola is in 3rd place, with two #1 votes, totaling 6 points. Here’s her caption:

Whether it’s Hllary or Donald, there will be hell toupee.

Captain America, Glenn47 and james4vs10 are all in 4th place, each with one #2 vote and 2 points. Here are their respective captions:

Damn, I look good! C’mer and gimme some Huma!

Hillary was disappointed to find out she and The Donald had the same hair stylist.


Well done, everyone!

Congratulations, truckjunkie!

Here’s your fancy-schmancy Award Certificate of Great Excellence, all ready for framing! LOL

StrawberrydancingbananaCarrotChilliMuffinPurpleBanana PineappledancingbananaCarrotChilliMuffinPineappleStrawberry

award certificate1

For all the other caption submissions, click here.

Be here tomorrow for our next very exciting caption contest!

Seen any good pics that you think would be great for our Caption Contest? Email them to us! :D