Category Archives: Humor

Bizarre: Car thief dances when stopped by police

Is it my imagination or are Americans getting crazier?

ABC7 reports that on Wednesday night, Aug. 26, 2015, a suspected car thief led police on a wild chase in downtown Los Angeles, the got out of the car and started dancing jiggling her fat in the middle of the street.

According to Los Angeles police, the woman was blasting through red lights, weaving in and out of traffic, ran over a spike strip and blew a tire, but that still didn’t stop her.

At one point, she got out of the car and did a little dance, but then got back inside the vehicle.

A few moments later, officers swarmed the car, pulled her out and took her into custody near the 2000 block of East 8th Street.

The woman is believed to have been under the influence.


Friday Funny: Ready for Hillary 2016!

Hillary in prison

We can only hope . . . .

H/t John Molloy


Why are there long lines everywhere at Disney but nobody in line to see the HALL of PRESIDENTS?

Even an animatronic copy of President Lucifer can’t draw a crowd these days…


Animatronic Obama

Animatronic Obama

Oh. That’s why.  All respect for this office has been squandered by this president and his group of lying spokes-weasels.

San Francisco goes down the toilet. Public health hazard!

San Francisco, the leftwing City by the Bay that’s ever so tolerant about the homeless, estimated to number 10,000, has a huge problem with people urinating and defecating in public, as attested to by the images below.

SF poop1SF poop

Nearly two years ago, the problem was already rampant. A citizen resident, Noah Sanders, warned that tourists are vowing not to return to San Francisco because of encounters with human turd. Sanders wrote: that the odor of piss and shit that permeates so many of our neighborhoods

“[T[he odor of piss and shit…permeats…our neigborhoods…. I have experienced days, even weeks, in a row when I’ve had to pull my eager dog away from steaming pancakes of human shit, or I’ve had to step over a sad, sick turd-smeared man passed out among sculpture-like piles of his own doo-doo mere feet from my doorway. However San Francisco’s poop problem isn’t confined to the streets of the Mission. Other neighborhoods ­– particularly SOMA, Mid-Market, and the Tenderloin ­– have a similar human-excrement predicament. Let’s face it: if you live in the city, regardless of location or class affiliation, you’ve probably had your own encounter with the aftermath of a public number-two.”

Recently, public peeing nearly caused a man’s death when a street light pole, its base corroded by age and urine, crashed down on the hood of his car, missing him by about a foot. Public Utilities Commission spokesman Tyrone Jue told the San Francisco Gate, “We believe there was some contribution of dog or human urine on the base of the pole.”

Ever so tolerant, Jue advised the public urinators to pee instead in a public restroom or at a fire hydrant because, unlike the humble light pole, the fire hydrant is made of a stronger material — cast iron. (Daily Caller)

And what’s mayor Ed Lee’s solution?

Brandon M. Mercer reports for the San Francisco Chronicle, Aug. 26, 2o15:

San Francisco is known for its Golden Gate Bridge, world class cuisine, panoply of cultures, striking skyline, frigid fog, and homeless. More specifically, aggressive panhandling and homeless defecating and urinating in public. And sometimes doing even worse things….

Mayor Ed Lee announced this week that“the homeless must leave the street” for Super Bowl 50…. “We’ll give you an alternative…. We are always going to be supportive. But you are going to have to leave the street….

The idea is to house street campers either in the city’s new Navigation Center in the Mission District — where people can live while they are routed into housing, rehabilitation, employment and other services — or in an estimated 500 units of supportive housing the mayor hopes to have rehabbed and open by the end of the year.

Meanwhile, residents and tourists should arm themselves with Human Wasteland, an interactive map showing areas in San Francisco to avoid. The map is the clever creation of civil-engineer-turned-web-developer Jennifer Wong, who obtained her information of turd deposits from reports of encounters by the public to SF311, the City of San Francisco’s Street and Sidewalk Cleaning division.

↓Click map to enlarge↓

SF public defecation map

H/t FOTM’s maziel


Wednesday’s Funny: That look…

that look

This is exactly the same look you would  get from your friends if you told them you plan to vote for Hillary Clinton.

h/t Laura


The Two Pigs Caption Contest

This is the 105th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic:

McCain & pig

The above pic was taken at a press conference on government spending on May 13, 2015.

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box), not via email or on Facebook.
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM! :D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

Income: $58,000+/yr disability pension from Navy 
Income: $174,000/yr as a U.S. senator 
Net worth: $21 million (from marrying rich) 
John McCain: Definition of a Fat Pig who has voted every time to cut veterans’ military pension 

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, Sept. 1, 2015.

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

Seen any pics that you think will make good fodder for our caption contests? Send it to us at:

Thank you!


LGBT have panties in a twist over Caitlyn Jenner Halloween costume

Call Me Caitlyn Halloween costume

Joe Otterson reports for The Wrap, Aug. 25, 2o15:

Costume company Spirit Halloween is facing serious backlash after offering a Caitlyn Jenner costume in time for Halloween.

The costume recreates Jenner’s look when she debuted as a woman on the cover of Vanity Fair in June, complete with shorts, a padded top, a wig, and a sash that reads, “Call Me Caitlyn.”

Twitter blew with expressions of anger about the costume, with some calling it “disgraceful,” “hurtful,” and “transphobic.”

Here are some of the tweets:

  • Connor ‘X’ Hepburn: “Why would you produce a Halloween costume for @Caitlyn_Jenner? That’s basically saying trans is all a joke as its only fake?”
  • Marni Panas: “@Caitlyn_Jenner Halloween costume: Mocking the community is degrading, disrespectful & harmful. We are humans, not jokes.”
  • em: “‘caitlyn jenner halloween costume’ time for me to backflip the fuck out of this society onto a rocket ship i am leaving for space. goodbye”
  • Shawna Seth: “There’s a Caitlyn Jenner Halloween costume, and it’s not okay. Tell @SpiritHalloween to stop cashing in on bigotry”
  • andrew: “The Caitlyn Jenner Halloween costume is like a really bad idea”
  • Courtney S: “Am I the only one who thinks that a Caitlyn Jenner inspired Halloween costume is extremely insensitive?! Wtf is wrong w/ ppl”
  • RJ Edwards: “TW for transmisogyny! I just saw an ad for a Caitlyn Jenner Halloween costume and I hate this planet!!”
  • RXB SPXXRS: “The struggle that Caitlyn Jenner has to face isn’t a Halloween costume. Whoever made this is a shitty person.”

IMHO, Spirit Halloween should complete the “Call Me Caitlyn” Halloween costume with a mask:

Bruce-Caitlyn Jenner