1. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that “a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible!” The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.” The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”
2. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five- and six-year-olds. After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy father and thy mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.”
3. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘there’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘that’s Michael, He’s a doctor.’” A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.”
4. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.” “Yes,” the class said. Teacher: “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty, ma’am.”
5. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
H/t FOTM’s Mike
Actually, I find those kids kinda frightening!