Category Archives: Humor

Thursday Funnies: Hillary’s secret wonder drug!

And if Americans are so stupid and corrupt as to elect her President, expect truckloads of this wonder drug to be delivered to the White House.

Wonder drug Liagra

More Liagra funnies!

3691213

H/t FOTM’s Glenn47, John Molloy, and Blake

~Éowyn

More deep thoughts from the iY Generation!

einstein

Note: The quotes below are by members of the iY Generation, Americans born after 1990. They are not the thoughts of DCG, the author of this post. ~Dr. Eowyn

“Capitalism is so fucked up. People literally die because medicine costs too much. Money isn’t real. It stands for some arbitrary number and people literally DIE because of that number. Because they don’t have that number so they die. That should freak us all out. We should be overthrowing the government.”

“Here’s the thing about being pro choice that people don’t get…You don’t have to morally agree with abortion to be pro choice. That’s why it’s not called pro abortion. It’s an understanding that you can’t make that choice for someone else and they have full control over that not you. It’s pro I’m not the boss of everyone else. That is important.”

naral colorado

NARAL: Putting a new spin on the non-existence of pro abortion…

“While it is very true that Hitler killed alot of people, it is also true that he was a fan of animals. He was not a bad guy when it came to his dogs, was even a vegetarian (which I personally agree with), and before he killed himself he killed his dogs too so they wouldn’t get tortured. This shows that Hitler was not always as bad as they make him out to be.”

holocaust

“What has happened due to the ideology of capitalism and the fact that it has no religious basis is that modernity has taken capitalism and has made our current society its bitch.”

say what

“The reason for this is because I’ve done some online research and people have been given the right to freedom.”

“Not to be fake deep but the pressure of a competition-based economy is killing my gentle spirit.”

special snowflake

“The crazy Republicans wanted to teach the Southern Confederates a lesson and were mean to them. This harsh treatment caused the Southerners to mistreat the African Americans.”

And lastly, “womyn”!!!!!!

See also:

DCG

Tuesday Funny: The Muslim Bookstore

I was walking through the mall, and came upon a Muslim bookstore.

The clerk asked if he could help me.

I asked for a copy of the The Obama Administration’s Immigration Policy Book Regarding Muslims.

The clerk said, “F*ck off! Get out and stay out!”

“Yes”. I said, “That’s the one.”

H/t FOTM’s maziel

AssbakistanWe’re widening our anus for Jihad!

On a more serious note, see “Homeland Security chief says we should ‘give voice to the plight of Muslims’ as Obama administration opens immigration floodgates to Muslims.”

muslim-immigration Pew Research

~Éowyn

Christie Bush

christybush

Isn’t that like saying,

“Top John McCain ally defects
to Lindsay Graham?”


Yawn…

Saturday Funny: Father O’Malley and the jackass

jackass2

An Irish Priest is transferred to Iola, Texas.

He rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine Spring day in his new West Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.

He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. So the priest promptly called the local police station. The conversation went like this:

“Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?”

“And the best of the day to yourself. This is Father O’Malley at St. Ann’s Catholic Church. There’s a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o’ yer lads to take care of the matter.”

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the priest’s Irish accent, thought he would have a little fun, replied, “Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!”

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.

Then, Father O’Malley replied, “Aye, ’tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call.”

H/t FOTM’s josephbc69 muttley

~Eowyn

The majority have spoken, so here’s a new Caption Contest!

As of 5 minutes ago, 38 readers have voted on whether FOTM should continue our caption contests:

  • 55.25% or 21 readers voted for the contests to continue immediately.
  • 21.05% or 8 readers voted for the contests to discontinue.
  • 13.16% or 5 readers voted for a break.
  • 10.53% or 4 readers said they don’t have an opinion.

The majority have spoken, so here is your new Caption Contest! The others will just have to suck it up. LOL

This is the 97th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic.

batmen in a boat

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box), not via email or on Facebook.
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM! :D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

With news of Hillary’s 2016 presidential race, it’s every Batman for himself as they abandon Gotham U.S.A.

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, April 21, 2015.

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

Seen any pics that you think will make good fodder for our caption contests? Send it to us at:

fellowshipminds@gmail.com

Thank you!

~Éowyn

We have a winner!

. . . for FOTM’s 96th Caption Contest!

We had noticeably fewer entrants for this contest, perhaps due to our readers being busy with Holy Week. (Please let me know in our poll at the end of this post!)

FOTM writers dutifully voted for what we each considered to be the #1 and #2 captions. Each #1 vote is worth 3 points; every #2 vote is worth 2 points.

And the winner of the 96th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest, with three #1 votes, totaling 9 points, is . . . .

CalGirl! Snoopy dance

Here’s her winning caption:

It's truthtelling time!

christy is our 2nd place runner-up, with two #1 votes, totaling 6 points. Here’s her caption:

Obama: “I’m a whiny pissy pants”
Michelle: “Bruce Jenner, call me”

BobToonist and cynkading are both in 3rd place, each withtwo #2 votes, totaling 4 points each. Here are their respective captions:

Barry: “All those fools be thinkin’ I’m a muslim….”
Michelle: “You’re standing on your prayer rug, idiot!”

Dr. Jekyll & Mrs. Hyde

aarrdy and Lori B are both in 4th place, each with one #1 votes and 3 points. Here are their respective captions:

His: This is Me..
Her: I’m with Stupid <—

His: blank check for war
Hers: menu for disadvantaged public school kids

Another BobToonist caption, Captain America, and Dennis H. Bennett are all in 5th place, each with one #2 vote and 2 points. Here are their respective captions:

Him: I can handle twelve hard inches
Her: They’re mine

Obumble’s sign says “Catcher”
Uglies’ sign says “Pitcher”

His: I’m Ren
Hers: And I’m Stimpy

Well done, everyone!

Congratulations, CalGirl!

Here is your fancy-schmancy Award Certificate of Great Excellence, all ready for framing! LOL

StrawberrydancingbananaCarrotChilliMuffinPurpleBanana PineappledancingbananaCarrotChilliMuffinPineappleStrawberry

award certificate1

For all the other caption submissions, go here.

Please sound off in our poll!

Seen any good pics that you think would be great for our Caption Contest? Email them to us! :D

fellowshipminds@gmail.com

~Éowyn