Category Archives: Hollywood liberals

The brilliance that is Lena Dunham: “Dog or Jewish Boyfriend? A Quiz”

Lena Dunham's double date with Obama

New Yorker: Do the following statements refer to (a) my dog or (b) my Jewish boyfriend?

1. The first thing I noticed about him was his eyes.

2. We love to spend hours in bed together on Sunday mornings.

3. He’s crazy for cream cheese.

4. It hasn’t always been easy, but we currently live together and it’s going O.K.

5. Our anniversary is in two days and I’m not sure if he remembers.

6. If it were up to him, every room in our place would be carpeted.

7. But he has asthma.

8. I feel that he is judgmental about the food I serve him. When I make something from scratch, he doesn’t want to eat it, but he also rejects most store-bought dinners.

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9. This is because he comes from a culture in which mothers focus every ounce of their attention on their offspring and don’t acknowledge their own need for independence as women. They are sucked dry by their children, who ultimately leave them as soon as they find suitable mates.

10. As a result of this dynamic, he expects to be waited on hand and foot by the women in his life, and anything less than that makes him whiny and distant.

11. I wish he were more excited about spending time with my friends.

12. At our local organic bistro, he will often leave three-quarters of his salmon fillet untouched, offering no explanation and offending the waiter, who will ask balefully, “Was it undercooked?”

13. He doesn’t tip.

14. And he never brings his wallet anywhere.

15. He came with me to therapy once and was restless and unexpressive.

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16. When I go out of town on a business trip, he sleeps with a pair of my underwear.

17. When I get home from the business trip, he ignores me for hours, sometimes days, forcing me to wonder whether he would be better off with a woman who has a less demanding career. “Why don’t you find some catalogue model who just sits around all day and rubs your back? I bet you’d like that,” I hiss. “I apologize for my many accomplishments. I’m sorry they mean nothing to you.”

18. He respects my father but is intimidated by his Waspy, buttoned-up demeanor, flat cadence, and inability to express physical affection toward other men. The tension between them takes the form of passive-aggressive pissing matches and hostile silences.

19. He’s really more of an ass man.

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20. He has a sensitive stomach and has to take two Dramamine before entering any moving vehicle.

21. I have more Instagram followers than he does.

22. He ripped up my copy of “Lean In.”

23. My grandma Dottie loves him and says he’s a “good, good boy.”

24. Every week it’s some new health issue: urine crystals, sprained foot, beef allergy.

25. He enjoys nature and I don’t, which would be fine except it’s important to share interests, and he also doesn’t like novellas, tag sales, or hip-hop dance.

26. He hates our upstairs neighbor Beverly and refuses to acknowledge her in the elevator, even if she tells him that she likes his haircut.

27. In fact, he has hair all over his body, like most males who share his background.

28. His best friend is named Archie.

29. He briefly dated another Lena, but she was black and a runner.

30. Bald men trigger a primal fear in him.

31. In addition, he is openly hostile toward the Hasidic community, focussing most of his rage on their bulky (but chic) fur hats.

32. He has an obsession with bellhops that is troubling to me.

dunham233. One spring afternoon, we walked to Dumbo to check out a new artisanal-Popsicle stand, when we ran into my friend Jill. Jill is actually more of an acquaintance—I don’t know her well, but I really like her; she curates high-end terrariums and she’s a clog designer on the side. She’s really slim and well dressed, in an all-American, J. Crew-model sort of way. He was immediately all over her, panting and making a fool of himself. It was humiliating. Because here’s the thing: I am not a Jill. I will never be a Jill. And if that’s what he is looking for—some anorexic hipster with a glossy braid and freaking Swedish clog boots she sewed by hand—he should never have set his sights on me in the first place.

34. He once vomited on his seatmate in United business class, then ran up and down the aisle in a panic.

35. He’s adopted.

Isn't she so witty?

Isn’t she so witty?

See also:

DCG

Son of President Reagan says he’s not afraid to burn in Hell

Ron Reagan, the younger (and biological) son of the late President Ronald Reagan, made a 30-second ad campaign to promote atheism for the Freedom From Religion Foundation (FFRF).

FFRF ran a radio version of the ad last year on “The Randi Rhodes Show.” A TV version has been broadcast more recently on “The Daily Show” and repeatedly on CNN. ABC, NBC, CBS, and Fox declined to run the ad.

In the ad, with a mocking sneer, 56-year-old Ron proudly declares that he’s “a lifelong atheist, not afraid of burning in Hell.”

Ron has been a nonbeliever since childhood and is surprised when people react negatively when they hear about it. He told the L.A. Times last year, “I think when you hold an opinion that you find entirely reasonable, you are surprised when you discover that other people don’t also consider it reasonable, and kind of get up in arms.”

H/t FOTM’ s MomOfIV

See also:

~Éowyn

Hahahaha: Sean Penn’s New Anti-American Action Flick BOMBS

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NewsBusters: Should we be shocked that according to reviews Sean Penn’s new movie, The Gunman, is turning out to be the Venezuelan economy of action thrillers? Not at all. After all, Penn, the Hugo Chavez fan boy, co-wrote the screenplay. And just as Chavez/Madurro socialist tropes inevitably led to a workers’ paradise chronically short of toilet paper, Sean Penn’s anti-corporate instincts led to a thriller chronically short of thrills.

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The Gunman earned a pathetic 15 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. (For comparison, Run All Night, the current Liam Neeson shoot-em-up that’s struggling at the box office scored 59 percent. Neeson recently annoyed a good chunk of his audience with a stupidly hypocritical rant about guns. Penn lost those people decades ago.)

When you can’t get critics from the LA Times, The Guardian, NPR and the New York Times to put a happy face on your anti-American agitprop film, it must be some kind of stinker.

Penn plays a former assassin for hire haunted by things he did in Africa on behalf of big corporations that that have an interest third world in instability and bloodshed. Apparently he tries atone by doing Gaia’s work for an NGO when his old life sucks him back in, etc, etc, etc. Some of the best review lines:

  • “If the film’s intent is to condition the audience into a distaste for violence through boredom, it succeeds.” – Peter Keough, Boston Globe
  • “The self-seriousness is way out of touch with the realities of the production. This is a fundamentally stupid movie about a muscular superman beating and shooting the living hell out of all those who would cross him. It’s not an apologia for continental destruction.” – Robert Levin, AMNew York
  • “A lightweight thriller posing as a heavy political drama, or vice-versa. Not thoughtful and no fun.” – Rafer Guzman, Newsday
  • “Watching Penn pump iron and denounce capitalism for two hours would be roughly as illuminating as this monotonous Euro-thriller.” – Kyle Smith, New York Post
  • “In fact, no one in The Gunman looks happy.” – Steven Rea, Philadelphia Inquirer

How did The Gunman do in it’s opening weekend? Just $5 million.

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Variety:The weekend’s other major wide release, “The Gunman,” fired blanks, picking up a meager $5 million and seemingly deep-sixing Sean Penn’s plans to be an aging action star. Open Road distributed the film in 2,816 theaters and had expected a debut in the $8 million range. “The Gunman’s” modest results were good enough for a fourth place finish in an otherwise slow weekend. The Gunman’s” roughly $40 million production budget was fully funded by StudioCanal.”

You know you're laughing.

DCG

We have a winner!

. . . for FOTM’s 94th Caption Contest!

This was a very competitive contest. There were so many clever captions!!!

Alas, the FOTM writers have the duty to select a winner. So we each did our duty and voted for what we each considered to be the #1 and #2 captions. Each #1 vote is worth 3 points; every #2 vote is worth 2 points.

And the winner of the 94th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest, with two #1 votes and two #2 votes, totaling 10 points, is . . . .

Locke Enlode! Snoopy dance

Here’s his winning caption:

Madonna falls at BRIT award 2015

Jim is in 2nd place, with two #1 votes and one #2 vote, totaling 8 points. Here’s his caption:

Old people just fall asleep sometimes.

christy is in 3rd place, with two #1 votes, totaling 6 points. Here’s her caption:

To The Beatles tune: “‘Lady’ Madonna, demons at your feet, Here to escort you, to Satan meet.”

ratmandu is in 4th place, with one #1 vote and one #2 vote, totaling 5 points. Here’s his caption:

This picture is proof positive that her career is collapsing and on the way down ! Way,way down !

Lola is in 5th place, with two #2 votes, totaling 4 points. Here’s her caption:

Madonna has a Senior Moment.

Another ratmandu caption is in 6th place, with one #1 vote and 3 points:

Well certainly I’m not on the stairway to heaven !

lou damico and yet another ratmandu caption are both in 7th place, each with one #2 vote and 2 points. Here are their respective captions:

Help! It’s fallen and can get up.

Like a virgin? Yeah right!

Well done, everyone!

Congratulations, Locke Enlode!

Here is your fancy-schmancy Award Certificate of Great Excellence, all ready for framing! LOL

StrawberrydancingbananaCarrotChilliMuffinPurpleBanana PineappledancingbananaCarrotChilliMuffinPineappleStrawberry

award certificate1

For all the other caption submissions, click here.

Be here tomorrow for our next very exciting Caption Contest!

Seen any good pics that you think would be great for our Caption Contest? Email them to us! :D

fellowshipminds@gmail.com

~Éowyn

Do You Know Anyone Who Is Going To Hell?

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What is hell?

We’re told that it’s a place of utter anguish and torment. An eternal destination for those who turn their backs on God and reject the Ten Commandments. Imagine the most painful, the most degrading, the most unspeakable torture you can imagine, multiply it by a thousand, and it probably will not come close to the reality of hell.

Flesh-eating demons, eternal fire, the stench of sulfur…

There’s no sleeping in hell. No rest or reprieve from continuous suffering and agony. And it lasts forever.

So who goes to hell?

Those who commit murder are going to hell.

Those who lie and deceive in order to gain money or political power are going to hell. (Anyone come to mind?)

Those who practice abortion are going to hell.

Those who knowingly vote for Democratic candidates who legislate for abortion are going to hell.

Those who peddle pornography are going to hell, including most mainstream television, movies, and magazines.

Those who dress or pose immodestly, drawing others to sin, are going to hell.

Those who have sold their souls in exchange for fame and success are going to hell.

Those who legislate or resort to subterfuge in an effort to disarm the American people are going to hell.

Those who work to remove God, prayer, and Christianity from schools and society are going to hell.

Those who abuse their positions of religious or spiritual leadership with false teachings of progressivism, multiculturalism, diversity, and socialism are going to hell.

Those who teach our children and pollute their minds with false teachings of progressivism, multiculturalism, diversity, and socialism are going to hell.

Those who live off the work of others, while refusing to work themselves, are dangerously close to going to hell.

Those who promote and encourage racism through diversity, multiculturalism, and socialist policies are dangerously close to going to hell.

Those who are angry and indignant at reading this because they recognize themselves are most likely going to hell, if they don’t change.

Do you know anyone who is going to hell?

Homosexual Oscars emcee Neil Patrick Harris seen abusing his 4 y.o. twins

Openly homosexual actor Neil Patrick Harris thought he was being very clever by hosting the 2015 Academy Awards wearing only his underwear. The next morning on Live With Kelly & Michael, he even boasted that the bulge is all his, as if anyone but sodomites would either be interested in or find that information important. (See “The Oscars go down the toilet“)

Neil Patrick Harris 2015 Oscars

But even in our corrupt times of a corrupt pop culture and corrupt media, Harris’ stunt fell flat, panned by critics. Reportedly, he’s been down in the dumps about the “rejection.”

Harris has two children with his “husband,” actor/chef David Burtka — 4-year-old twins, Gideon and Harper, who were conceived via a surrogate mother.

The National Enquirer, admittedly, is a supermarket tabloid, although it must be said that if it weren’t for the Enquirer, we would never know about former Democratic vice president nominee John Edwards’ adultery and “love child” with political groupie Rielle Hunter. It was the Enquirer — not The New York Times, nor The Washington Post, nor the alphabet TV networks, including Fox News — which, alone, doggedly kept after and uncovered Edwards’ infidelity, lies, and misuse of campaign donations to keep and house his mistress. For that, the Enquirer was nominated for a Pulitzer award. (See “John Edwards, a cad to the end“)

Bob Hartlein reports for The National Enquirer that on March 3, 2015, Harris was seen in a fit of anger at his kids on a cold New York morning.

As recounted by onlookers and seen in the photos below, Harris was seen outside his Harlem townhouse, his face contorted with rage, dragging the boy by one arm down a steep set of icy cement steps.

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Without his husband or a nanny present, the 41-year-old entertainer had a meltdown while getting Gideon and Harper off to school.

Onlookers said they were horrified by his “outrageous” parental behavior. Said one spectator: “I was scared for the poor little boy because of the way Neil was acting – it was completely out of character. He had turned into the daddy from hell!”

Neil Patrick Harris2

According to the eyewitness, Harris barked at his kids to come down the stoop to the street below – a steep incline of 12 cement steps. The eyewitness explains: “Normally, as a parent, you’d want to hold your child’s hand and help them navigate down the steps – but Neil didn’t do that. He went ahead of them. Harper scampered down to join her dad without incident – but her brother appeared to need extra coaxing. Neil was very impatient – and when Gideon was slowly plodding along, reaching to about the fourth step down, Neil angrily shot back up and roughly grabbed a hold of his little boy’s arm. He dragged the kid the rest of the way down. Neil had a jawlike grip on the child, causing him to cry. But he still yelled at him to hurry up!”

Once on the sidewalk, Harris – carrying a shopping bag and holding a coffee – quickly began walking down the street, leaving both children behind. “Gideon was still crying, but Neil didn’t seem to care. He wasn’t looking back at the kids,” said the eyewitness, adding that the children finally caught up to him and he hustled them into a waiting town car.

In a response about the incident to The Enquirer, Neil Patrick Harris said he did nothing wrong. His lawyer Martin Singer downplayed the incident, insisting Harris was simply “trying to get his 4-year-old twins into the car to take them to school,” and that “His son was misbehaving and refusing to walk to the car so Mr. Harris lifted him and carried him to the bottom of the steps. Mr. Harris did not drag Gideon down the steps, or injure him in any way The allegation that Mr. Harris committed child abuse by dragging his child down cement steps is outrageous … Mr. Harris was merely disciplining his child, as any responsible parent would do. Taking one’s child by the arm to direct his or her movements is much less severe than administering a spanking to the child.”

Do you agree with the Enquirer that Harris was abusing 4=year-old Gideon?

I can see snow and ice on the steps even in the photos. I fully empathize with Gideon and understand why he was hesitant and slow going down the steps. If I were Harris, instead of forcibly dragging the boy down the steps, I would simply pick the child up and carry him down.

See also “New study finds children of homosexual parents have more than twice the emotional problems as children of opposite-sex parents.”

~Éowyn

Hollyweird hypocrite Sean Penn to profit off of gun violence in “The Gunman”

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Shocker, I know. Don’t waste your money on this fool.

Hollywood Reporter: “Sean Penn stars as a reformed hitman seeking redemption in the trite action film The Gunman. Taken‘s Pierre Morel may be in the director’s chair but Penn has credits as both a co-screenwriter and producer, and ultimately this feels like a vanity project designed to do for Penn’s bankability.”

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See also:

DCG