Author Archives: Dave

And the Stoopid Criminal Darwin Award Goes to…

darwin_12

Suspected burglar stuck in Huron home’s chimney dies after residents light fire

Via fresnobee.com:


A man who apparently got stuck in the chimney of a Huron home during a botched burglary attempt died Saturday after the homeowners lit a fire in the fireplace, the Fresno County Sheriff’s Office said.
Lt. Brandon Pursell said deputies received a 911 call to the 16000 block of West Gale Avenue just before 3 p.m. After lighting a fire, the male homeowner heard screaming coming from somewhere inside the house. When the resident realized a person was in the chimney, he extinguished the fire.

Deputies and firefighters had to smash the chimney to get the man out. He was pronounced dead at the scene. The Fresno County coroner will perform an autopsy to confirm a cause of death. The man’s identity is being withheld pending notification of his family.

Investigators believe he had attempted to break into the home sometime during the evening hours of Nov. 27. He had remained in the chimney all day.

Pursell said the home suffered smoke damage in addition to the busted chimney.

-End

Ya know, The gene pool has a way of cleaning itself out – despite our best efforts to prevent it from doing so.
-Dave

(h/t: Drudge)

 

Dave’s Good Deed for the Year

Just thought I would throw in a little fall public service reminder for our camel-flea infested dune monkey friends:

original12

Never let it be said that I am not diversified in my civic mindedness.

/s.

-Dave

(h/t: NB’s Earnyourkeep)

Bastard Child of Skynet Brutally Murdered in Philadelphia

HitchBOT in Boston during happier traveling days. COURTESY OF MEAGHAN CARROCCI

HitchBOT in Boston during happier traveling days. COURTESY OF MEAGHAN CARROCCI

Via Philly.com:

Posted: Monday, August 3, 2015, 11:57 AM

Update: TORONTO (AP) – The Canadian talking and tweeting hitchhiking robot that met its untimely end in the United States over the weekend might be given another chance at life.

HitchBOT’s co-creators Frauke Zeller and David Smith said Monday that they’ve been overwhelmed with support and offers to revive the robot since it was vandalized beyond repair on the streets of Philadelphia on Saturday and they are considering rebuilding it.

The robot was on a hitchhiking, social experiment adventure in the U.S. after trekking across Canada and parts of Europe last year. Strangers helped hitchBOT travel from place to place while checking items off its bucket list.

The robot was designed to traverse continents on the kindness of strangers and could toss out factoids and carry on limited conversation.​

Earlier story:

POLICE have little information about a four-faced robotic Canadian hitchhiker last seen intact near Old City’s Elfreth’s Alley before he was found beheaded, his torn-off arms at his side.

“I just think someone saw it, probably came out of a bar and was drunk and beat the crap out of it,” Philadelphia Police Detective Joe Murray told the Daily News yesterday. “Leaving it in Old City on a Saturday night is probably the worst idea ever. Anything could happen.”

Murray was speaking about hitchBOT, a “social experiment” from roboticists at Ryerson University, in Toronto, who didn’t quite receive the “brotherly love and sisterly affection” our town is known for.

He had an Android-tablet brain and stuck out his opposable thumb to encourage folks to pick him up, using a built-in camera to see and a microphone to hear, according to a Ryerson website set up for him.

“Oh, dear, my body was damaged, but I live on back home and with all my friends,” hitchBOT, who apparently did not realize that he’d been decapitated, posted Saturday on Facebook after the violent incident. “I guess sometimes bad things happen to good robots! My trip must come to an end for now, but my love for humans will never fade. Thank you to all my friends.”

You will find the rest of the story here.

-Dave

Welcome to the Twilight Zone

Clueless: Joyce Carol Oates Outraged Over Selfie With ‘Dead Dinosaur’

The horror…the horror.Novelist Joyce Carol Oates went into full liberal outrage mode when she spotted a picture of that notorious big game hunter, Steven Spielberg, posing with his prey. In this case it was a Triceratops dinosaur prop from the Jurassic Park movie set. It turns out that Oates’ anger comes about 65 million years too late because that was about how long ago this dinosaur went extinct.  Her laughably misplaced anger was in reaction to a tongue in cheek tweet by IGN movie editor Chris Tilly who probably didn’t think any rational person would take him seriously.

__________________________________________

To see the actual tweet, go here.

LOL – I have no idea what sort of drugs Oates is doing, but I am wondering if she is willing to share.

-Dave

(h/t: newsbusters.org)

Best Christmas Cookie Recipe Ever

Note: This is a regurgitated post from back in 2011, but I figured we have enough new readers to make it worth posting again – Dave

Ingredients:

1 cup of water

lemon juice

1 tsp. baking soda

4 large eggs

1 cup of sugar

1 cup nuts

1 tsp. salt

2 cups of dried fruit

1 cup brown sugar

1 bottle Jack Daniels Whiskey

Sample the Jack Daniels to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the Jack Daniels again to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer…Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar… Beat again.

At this point it’s best to make sure the Jack Daniels is still OK, try another cup…just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor…Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Jack Daniels to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.

Check the Jack Daniels. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.

Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Dack Janiels and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS :-D

-Dave

(h/t: my dear SiL)

Hilarious Friday Headline: Michelle Obama muffs Braley’s name

Michelle Obama

And if that’s a woman, I’ll eat my shoe

Via Politico.

LOL – And that is as far as I am going with this one. :-D

-Dave

Wednesday Howler

carter

Not especially

Jimmy Carter says he would have defeated Reagan had he been more ‘manly’

By Paul Bedard | October 1, 2014 | 10:58 am

Via  washingtonexaminer.com:

Former President Jimmy Carter claimed Wednesday that he would have been re-elected and beaten Ronald Reagan in 1980 if had been more “manly” in his dealings with Iran.

Interviewed by the show “CNBC Meets,” Carter repeated his belief that the failed mission to free American hostages held in Tehran killed his chances, but then added that had he gone to war, America would have rewarded him with a second term in 1980.

“I could’ve been re-elected if I’d taken military action against Iran, shown that I was strong and resolute and, um, manly and so forth,” said the former president, who has established himself as a world human rights leader.

“I could have wiped Iran off the map with the weapons that we had, but in the process a lot of innocent people would have been killed, probably including the hostages and so I stood up against all that all that advice, and then eventually my prayers were answered and every hostage came home safe and free. And so I think I made the right decision in retrospect, but it was not easy at the time,” he said, according to a transcript provided to Secrets.

Interviewed with his wife, Carter said he also had to ignore Rosalynn’s pleadings to “do something.”

In the end, she said that she was proud of her husband. “Peace is very difficult. War is popular in our country,” said Mrs. Carter.

Paul Bedard, the Washington Examiner’s “Washington Secrets” columnist, can be contacted at pbedard@washingtonexaminer.com.

-End

This story was originally posted here.

Today just happens to be Jihad Jimmy’s 90th birthday.

He is also the longest surviving ex-president in history.

It shows.

-Dave