Author Archives: Dave

Welcome to the Twilight Zone

Clueless: Joyce Carol Oates Outraged Over Selfie With ‘Dead Dinosaur’

The horror…the horror.Novelist Joyce Carol Oates went into full liberal outrage mode when she spotted a picture of that notorious big game hunter, Steven Spielberg, posing with his prey. In this case it was a Triceratops dinosaur prop from the Jurassic Park movie set. It turns out that Oates’ anger comes about 65 million years too late because that was about how long ago this dinosaur went extinct.  Her laughably misplaced anger was in reaction to a tongue in cheek tweet by IGN movie editor Chris Tilly who probably didn’t think any rational person would take him seriously.

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To see the actual tweet, go here.

LOL – I have no idea what sort of drugs Oates is doing, but I am wondering if she is willing to share.

-Dave

(h/t: newsbusters.org)

Best Christmas Cookie Recipe Ever

Note: This is a regurgitated post from back in 2011, but I figured we have enough new readers to make it worth posting again – Dave

Ingredients:

1 cup of water

lemon juice

1 tsp. baking soda

4 large eggs

1 cup of sugar

1 cup nuts

1 tsp. salt

2 cups of dried fruit

1 cup brown sugar

1 bottle Jack Daniels Whiskey

Sample the Jack Daniels to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the Jack Daniels again to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer…Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar… Beat again.

At this point it’s best to make sure the Jack Daniels is still OK, try another cup…just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor…Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Jack Daniels to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.

Check the Jack Daniels. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.

Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Dack Janiels and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS :-D

-Dave

(h/t: my dear SiL)

Hilarious Friday Headline: Michelle Obama muffs Braley’s name

Michelle Obama

And if that’s a woman, I’ll eat my shoe

Via Politico.

LOL – And that is as far as I am going with this one. :-D

-Dave

Wednesday Howler

carter

Not especially

Jimmy Carter says he would have defeated Reagan had he been more ‘manly’

By Paul Bedard | October 1, 2014 | 10:58 am

Via  washingtonexaminer.com:

Former President Jimmy Carter claimed Wednesday that he would have been re-elected and beaten Ronald Reagan in 1980 if had been more “manly” in his dealings with Iran.

Interviewed by the show “CNBC Meets,” Carter repeated his belief that the failed mission to free American hostages held in Tehran killed his chances, but then added that had he gone to war, America would have rewarded him with a second term in 1980.

“I could’ve been re-elected if I’d taken military action against Iran, shown that I was strong and resolute and, um, manly and so forth,” said the former president, who has established himself as a world human rights leader.

“I could have wiped Iran off the map with the weapons that we had, but in the process a lot of innocent people would have been killed, probably including the hostages and so I stood up against all that all that advice, and then eventually my prayers were answered and every hostage came home safe and free. And so I think I made the right decision in retrospect, but it was not easy at the time,” he said, according to a transcript provided to Secrets.

Interviewed with his wife, Carter said he also had to ignore Rosalynn’s pleadings to “do something.”

In the end, she said that she was proud of her husband. “Peace is very difficult. War is popular in our country,” said Mrs. Carter.

Paul Bedard, the Washington Examiner’s “Washington Secrets” columnist, can be contacted at pbedard@washingtonexaminer.com.

-End

This story was originally posted here.

Today just happens to be Jihad Jimmy’s 90th birthday.

He is also the longest surviving ex-president in history.

It shows.

-Dave

Ebola Coming to a Town Near You? Our Illustrious Comrade Dear Ruler Sending 3000 Troops to the Center of Ebola Hell

obama_ebola

No, the little spineless Kenyan coward refuses to put boots on the ground to eradicate the ISIS cancer that is currently devouring large swaths of the Middle East, but he seems to have no problem exposing 3000 of our bravest to the most deadly disease in recent history.

Via  dailymail.co.uk:

By David Martosko, Us Political Editor for MailOnline

Published: 23:01 EST, 15 September 2014 | Updated: 23:07 EST, 15 September 2014

The United States government is sending thousands of military troops to the west African nation of Liberia as part of the Obama administration’s Ebola virus-response strategy, the White House said late Monday night.

‘U.S. Africa Command will set up a Joint Force Command headquartered in Monrovia, Liberia, to provide regional command and control support to U.S. military activities and facilitate coordination with U.S. government and international relief efforts,’ a statement from the White House press office said.

‘A general from U.S. Army Africa, the Army component of U.S. Africa Command (AFRICOM), will lead this effort, which will involve an estimated 3,000 U.S. forces.’

Liberia is the hardest-hit of the four west African nations that have confirmed Ebola cases, accounting for more than one-half of the fatalities. The others are Sierra Leone, Guinea and, to a lesser extent, Nigeria.

You will find the rest at this link.

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I wonder how many of these soldiers are going to return home and ultimately infect their family members and friends?

Somehow I don’t much think the POtuS gives a damn.

-Dave

(h/t: Drudge)

Y’all Ain’t Gonna Believe This: Jihad Jimmy Slams Obama for Being Incompetent

pot_kettleNo, you do not have dyslexia.  James Earl Carter, the 39th POTUS, and at least the worst president of all those I have lived under (if not the worst in the history of this country), really said that.

This was the same Jimmy Carter that was run out of office in one of the most lop-sided elections in the history of…elections, yet actually said this about the Kenyan Boy Blunder currently occupying the domicile at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

You can read all about it here: http://dailycaller.com/2013/11/02/epic-fail-now-jimmy-carter-is-calling-obama-an-incompetent-loser/.*

LOL – I sure hope Jimmy Earl has his taxes paid up – well beyond what he actually owed.

Somewhere in Hell, there is a blizzard brewing.

-Dave

(h/t: My buddy Earl)

*Note: I was recently stupid enough to perform software updates on my browser and my security software at the same time, and they are both giving me fits at the moment.

Corn Crop Behaving Badly? Department of Agriculture Wants Submachine Guns with 30 Round Magazines

CornVia breitbart.com:

Dept of Agriculture Orders Submachine Guns with 30 Round Magazines

A May 7th solicitation by the U.S. Department of Agriculture seeks “the commercial acquisition of submachine guns [in] .40 Cal. S&W.”

According to the solicitation, the Dept. of Agriculture wants the guns to have an “ambidextrous safety, semiautomatic or 2 round [bursts] trigger group, Tritium night sights front and rear, rails for attachment of flashlight (front under fore group) and scope (top rear), stock collapsible or folding,” and a “30 rd. capacity” magazine.

They also want the submachine guns to have a “sling,” be “lightweight,” and have an “oversized trigger guard for gloved operation.”

The solicitation directs “all responsible and/or interested sources…[to] submit their company name, point of contact, and telephone.” Companies that submit information in a “timely” fashion “shall be considered by the agency for contact to determine weapon suitability.”

~Dave

See also:

~Eowyn