Little Johnny’s Ransom
Little Johnny desperately wanted a bright red wagon for Christmas. His friends were writing letters to Santa Claus, so Johnny decided to do them one better.
“Dear Jesus,” he wrote, “If I get a red wagon for Christmas, I will not fight with my brother Hank for a year.” Then Johnny thought, ‘Oh, no, Hank is such a brat, I could never, ever keep that promise.’ So Johnny threw away the letter and wrote another one.
“Dear Jesus, if I get a red wagon for Christmas, I will eat all my vegetables for a year.” Then Johnny thought, ‘Oh, no, that means spinach and asparagus. Yuck! I could never ever keep that promise.’
Then Johnny had an idea. He threw away the paper and went downstairs to the living room. From the mantel above the fireplace, he grabbed the family’s statue of the Virgin Mary. Taking the statue to the kitchen he wrapped it in newspapers then stuffed the newspapers into a grocery bag.
He took the package upstairs to his room, opened the closet and placed the whole works in the farthest, darkest corner. Then he closed the closet door tightly, took a new sheet of paper and wrote: “Dear Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again…”