The 2012 Democratic National Convention, in which delegates of the Democratic Party from the 50 states will
choose rubber-stamp the party’s nominees for President and Vice President in the November 6th election, is scheduled to be held during the week of September 3.
Thanks to FOTM’s intrepid on-the-ground reporter Lady Wendy, we have a copy of the top-secret Democratic National Convention schedule!
The 2012 Democratic National Convention
4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
4:15 PM – Singing of “God Damn America” led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:25 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama
4:30 PM – Obama’s mother-in-law, Marian Robinson, “blesses” convention in special Santeria voodoo ceremony.
4:45 PM –Al Sharpton leads Castrati Choir in singing “Great Balls of Fire”
5:00 PM – UFO Abduction Survival – Joe Biden
5:30 PM – Special roundtable on “Adultery and Family Values,” with Bill Clinton, Eliot Spitzer, and Jesse Jackson.
5:45 PM – Tribute to All 57 States
6:00 PM – Joe Biden delivers 100,000-word speech featuring 23-minute question session and 2-hour answer session
8:30 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
9:00 PM – Bill Clinton delivers rousing endorsement of Obama Girl who, sadly, is now a Republican.
9:15 PM – Tribute Film to Freedom Fighters at Gitmo – Michael Moore
9:30 PM – Snack break – Delicious roasted Anthony weiners, served with special Nina Totenberg BBQ sauce!
9:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar by Charlie Rangel, with special “how to stay out of jail” bonus tips!
10:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter Bible-Reading Pro-life Gun-Owners and of Veterans – Janet Napolitano
10:30 PM – Ceremonial Waving of White Flag to Afghan Talibans
11:00 PM – Obama Energy Plan Symposium: How to sell oil to China, raise gas prices, and pour millions of taxpayer dollars into green energy sinkholes like Solyndra!
11:15 PM – Rally to free Jon Corzine (of MF Global) and Jamie Dimon (of JP Morgan Chase)
11:30 PM – Almost-midnight snack of $16 muffins!
11:45 AM – Convention delegates consult their Oujia boards.
12:00 PM – Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher, The Beast
12:01 AM – Obama Accepts Nomination as
12:02 AM – Bolt of lightning incinerates convention hall