This news is from last August, but I only discovered it today. The U.S. Marine Corps is so afraid of offending Muslims’ delicate sensibilities that our brave Marines serving in Afghanistan are banned from passing gas, otherwise called farting.
Gina Cavallaro writes for the Marine Corps Times blog “Battle Rattle,” August 23, 2011:
Marine Corps Times is a family newspaper and we only rarely have offensive language in our stories. [...]
So here’s the news: audible farting has been banned for some Marines downrange because it offends the Afghans.
I know there are many things in the Afghan culture that don’t seem normal to Americans and it’s hard to spend seven months working in someone else’s back yard. Still, the Marines I saw downrange are doing a pretty good job at trying to do the right thing around the Afghans.
They’re not supposed to cuss because it could be misunderstood (that one goes out the window a lot). And they stay away from talking about politics, religion or girls because those topics could escalate into major disagreements (they can’t communicate anyway because of the language barrier).
But farting? That’s practically a sport. Ok, it’s not soccer, but a good contest could open the door for cross-cultural exchanges, jokes and other gallows humor.
So, for all Marines getting ready to go downwind, I mean downrange, be forewarned — you may have to hold it in… at least until you get back to your hooch where you can loudly crop dust your friends.
The comments on this news are really funny. Here’s a sample:
Gary Conlon Says: August 23rd, 2011 at 6:00 pm
“We are protecting them assholes. Boy’s, let-um rip!!”
Thomas M Says: August 23rd, 2011 at 11:58 pm
“Are you kidding me. With the shit we had to eat i was farting none stop. I mean really all the MREs and UGRs all you do is fart.”
Michael Says: August 24th, 2011 at 12:25 am
“I have to ask….what discipinary action does UAF (Un-Approved Farting) carry these days???”
SNM Says: August 24th, 2011 at 12:50 am
“If we can’t fart around the Afghans then they should stop wiping their fecal matter all over the port-o-potty’s. Fair trade.”
None Ya Says: August 24th, 2011 at 7:59 am
“So, let me get this right. For a culture who looks at female life as less than that of a farm animal, who educates almost no one, who wipes their ass with their hand, and will have sex with farm animals; farting is offensive? Here’s the problem with our leadership, we have no leadership with any balls.”
Of course, this is the same U.S. Marine Corps eunuch administration who just gave Sgt. Gary Stein an other-than-honorable discharge for being critical of Obama on Stein’s personal Facebook page.