You don’t want to miss this Caption Contest!

This is the 103rd world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic.

Berkeley tree huggers1

About the pic: Greenies protest a proposed wildfire-prevention tree-clearing program by stripping naked and hugging eucalyptus trees on the U.C. Berkeley campus, July 18, 2015. See “Berkeley tree-huggers go naked“.

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box), not via email or on Facebook.
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM! :D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

Eucalyptus trees: “Aack! Yuck! Eww! We need a shower!”

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, Aug. 4, 2015.

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, click here.

Seen any pics that you think will make good fodder for our caption contests? Send it to us at:

Thank you!


Obama: “I could win a third term!”


For those who don’t know, Obama is visiting his home country, Kenya, in his home continent, Africa.

Yesterday, July 28, 2o15, in a speech to the African Union, he criticized African leaders who wouldn’t step aside at the end of their term of office. The POS boasted:

“Now, let me be honest with you, I do not understand this. I am in my second term. It has been an extraordinary privilege for me to serve as the President of the United States. I cannot imagine a greater honor or a more interesting job. I love my work. But under our Constitution, I cannot run again. I actually think I’m a pretty good president. I think if I ran, I could win. But I can’t. So there’s a lot that I’d like to do to keep America moving, but the law is the law.”

“I actually think I’m a pretty good president. I think if I ran, I could win.”

That should be one of the criterial attributes of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder for the American Psychological Association (APA)’s next edition of its Diagnostic Statistical Manual.

H/t The Washington Free Beacon


Keys to unlock the parables of Jesus Christ


Proverbs: the Master Key to the Bible

“The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel: for gaining wisdom and instruction; for understanding words of insight; for receiving instruction in prudent behavior, doing what is right and just and fair; for giving prudence to those who are simple, knowledge and discretion to the young—let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance—for understanding proverbs and parablesthe sayings and riddles of the wise. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” – Proverbs 1:1-7

Have you ever wanted better understanding the parables of Jesus? Or have various passages of the Bible puzzled you?

That should not be a surprise. Jesus spoke in parables to give clues, but also to deliberately hide the meaning from those who’s corruption has made them blind.

The first 7 verses of Proverbs makes a remarkable declaration. It declares the purpose of Proverbs is to give guidance for understanding proverbs and parables.  The book of Proverbs serves as a Master Key to unlock our understanding of life, and in particular, the Bible. It helps us to become treasure hunters in the Word of God.

But we have one ongoing caveat: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” In other words, without reverence for the Lord, a right heart toward Him, the Proverbs will not work for us.

Happy Treasure Hunting!




“I’m a feminist. I’m a dude. And I hate that I love to grill.”

The author Jacob Brogan

The author Jacob Brogan

Slate: I hate how much I love to grill. It’s not that I’m inclined to vegetarianism or that I otherwise object to the practice itself. But I’m uncomfortable with the pleasure I take in something so conventionally masculine. Looming over the coals, tongs in hand, I feel estranged from myself, recast in the role of suburban dad. At such moments, I get the sense that I’ve fallen into a societal trap, one that reaffirms gender roles I’ve spent years trying to undo. The whole business feels retrograde, a relic of some earlier, less inclusive era.

I take food prep a little too seriously, curtly brushing others out of the way when I step up to the kitchen counter. In my online dating days, I tried to spin this fault as a feature, describing myself as “a finicky, meticulous cook.” On reflection, I’m probably just kind of a jerk, but when I’m grilling I worry that I’ve become something even worse. Am I shoving others out of the way because it makes me feel like a man? Have I become some sort of monster?

grillingPaging through photographs of my years in grad school recently, I came across one in which two colleagues and I stand in a semicircle around a kettle grill. Though my eyes are downcast in the image, I’m not sad. Instead, I’m studying the burgers in front of me, and I’m happy. Our friend Katrina—the only woman in frame—leans in from the left, somehow outside of the scene, despite her presence in it.

This picture captures so much of what delights me about grilling and so much of what embarrasses me about that delight. On the one hand, there’s the peculiar alchemy of sun and smoke that makes summer days sprawl. On the other hand, it bears the stain of unintentional masculine cliché. Gathered around the coals with beers slung low, we’re all but enacting a myth of the American man, telling a story in postures and poses. No longer mere Ph.D. students, we have become bros.

It’s not that I think we’re doing anything consciously sexist. Friends who were there that day remind me that we were actively making light of cookout customs even as we were participating in them. I suspect that everyone in the photograph identifies as a feminist. Yet the three of us look suspiciously like characters in a commercial, one where masculinity itself seems to be for sale.

I’m thinking—maybe you are too—of Hillshire Farm’s obnoxious “Go Meat” television spot. As it opens (watch it if you must), a man works a grill alone. Without warning, a man in another yard begins a call-and-response chant about the meat he’s cooking, and after a brief moment of confusion, our hero and two other solitary grillmasters join in. The camera cuts for a moment to a crane shot, showing us the men isolated in their adjacent but fenced-off yards. In the final scene, all four have gathered around a single grill, united in celebration.

Men, this commercial suggests, come together as men when they do a manly thing. Their grills become symbolic meeting points. They enable what scholars call homosocial contact, a kind of same-sex intimacy that deflects the supposed dangers of sexual contact between men but allows them to confirm their masculinity by excluding women. Grilling, in other words, allows these characters to cozy up to one another while still maintaining their understanding of themselves as truly manly men.

Significantly, the notion that grilling is a manly thing for very, very manly men is far from universal. In an article for Forbes, Meghan Casserly proposes that men like to grill because it’s dangerous and because they don’t have to clean up afterward. Yet “women preside over the grill” in much of the world. Though many claim that men grill because they’re somehow drawn to fire, presumably by some atavistic impulse carried in our chromosomes, the masculine connotations of grilling are culturally specific, and hence culturally constructed.

Many claim that the association between modern grilling and masculinity originates in the former’s prehistory, when barbecuing meant heavy logs and whole animals. (Slim as my buddies and I were in that old picture, I doubt we would have been able to join in.) Ironically, it wasn’t until grilling became much easier—thanks, as the historic gastronomist Sarah Lohman explains, to the midcentury invention of the kettle grill—that the connection began to take hold. It derived from the way these new grills were marketed and sold rather than from anything essential to the practice itself.

Lohman suggests that advertisers in the United States, starting in the 1950s, targeted men because they constituted an untapped market. Where women felt “they could just use their stoves,” men could be more easily persuaded to try out a new device. Adweek’s Robert Klara traces a direct lineage between these early commercial overtures and more recent ones. “Whether the product is a Swift-brand T-bone in 1960 or a Weber S-470 today,” Klara writes, “the man at the grill has always served up the branding.”

There’s another reason why advertising has so successfully linked grilling to masculinity, which has to do with long-standing cultural conventions that associate women with the private sphere and men with the public. This assumption has long contributed to the scarcity of women in professional kitchens. The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics counts 364,000 employees in the role of chef or head cook. Nearly 83 percent of them—fully 302,000—are men. A variety of factors contribute to this imbalance, from the aggressive bro culture of the culinary brigade system to the lack of child care support. Underneath it all, however, is the idea that women are so beholden to domestic kitchens that they don’t belong in professional ones.

The association of grilling and masculinity partakes of a similar logic.  Unlike most other traditionally “feminine” forms of domestic cooking, grilling typically happens outside, and hence in the public sphere. The putatively masculine quality of grilling may derive in part from the old public-private gender split. In that sense, it shares a common cause with the belief that women belong in the home.

Of course, having all this context doesn’t stop me from grilling, or from enjoying myself when I do. The other night, a few friends and I gathered out back to cook some sausages. We stood around the grill together, watching the meat cook. I was happy in their company and only a little embarrassed that I wouldn’t let anyone else take the tongs.



Bias-Free Language Guide claims the word ‘American’ is ‘problematic’

tampon earrrings

Quote at the top of the page on the Bias-Free Language Guide, from one of our greatest philosophers:

In a democracy, recognition matters. Everyone wants to be seen as who they are. If they are not, then it’s impossible for them to enjoy the experience of being full citizens.  -Melissa Harris-Perry

Campus Reform: “American,” “illegal alien,” “foreigners,” “mothering,” and “fathering” are just a handful of words deemed “problematic” by the University of New Hampshire’s Bias-Free Language Guide.

According to the university’s website, the guide “is meant to invite inclusive excellence in [the] campus community.”

The guide defines words such as “homosexual” as “problematic,” offering “Same Gender Loving” as a more inclusive substitute. Similarly, a lack of gender-neutral bathrooms is, according to the university, “ciscentrism.”

The university defines “ciscentrism” as “[a] pervasive and institutionalized system that places transgender people in the ‘other’ category and treats their needs and identities as less important than those of cisgender people.” “Ciscentrism,” according to the university, “includes the lack of gender-neutral restrooms, locker rooms, and residences.”

This is problematic? Too bad, so sad!

This is problematic? Too bad, so sad!

Saying “American” to reference Americans is also problematic. The guide encourages the use of the more inclusive substitutes “U.S. citizen” or “Resident of the U.S.”

The guide notes that “American” is problematic because it “assumes the U.S. is the only country inside [the continents of North and South America].” (The guide doesn’t address whether or not the terms “Canadians” and “Mexicans” should be abandoned in favor of “Residents of Canada” and “Residents of Mexico,” respectively.)


The guide clarifies that saying “illegal alien” is also problematic. While “undocumented immigrant” is acceptable, the guide recommends saying “person seeking asylum,” or “refugee,” instead. Even saying “foreigners” is problematic; the preferred term is “international people.”

Using the word “Caucasian” is considered problematic as well, and should be discontinued in favor of “European-American individuals.” The guide also states that the notion of race is “a social construct…that was designed to maintain slavery.”

The guide also discourages the use of “mothering” or “fathering,” so as to “avoid gendering a non-gendered activity.”

Even saying the word “healthy” is problematic, the university says. The “preferred term for people without disabilities,” the university says, is “non-disabled.” Similarly, saying “handicapped” or “physically-challenged” is also problematic. Instead, the university wants people to use the more inclusive “wheelchair user,” or “person who is wheelchair mobile.”

Using the words “rich” or “poor” is also frowned upon. Instead of saying “rich,” the university encourages people to say “person of material wealth.” Rather than saying a person is “poor,” the university encourages its members to substitute “person who lacks advantages that others have” or “low economic status related to a person’s education, occupation and income.”

Terms also considered problematic include: “elders,” “senior citizen,” “overweight” (which the guide says is “arbitrary”), “speech impediment,” “dumb,” “sexual preference,” “manpower,” “freshmen,” “mailman,” and “chairman,” in addition to many others.

The Bias-Free Language Guide includes a link to the university’s “Gender Pronouns Guide,” which the university appears to have borrowed from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. UNH offers the guide as “a starting point for using pronouns respectfully.”

are you serious

The Gender Pronouns Guide uses a chart to explain how to use “nonbinary pronouns” such as spivak pronouns or ze/zie/hir sets. For example, instead of saying the sentence “their eyes gleam” (using binary pronouns), the sentence would become “hir [pronounced identically to “here,” and “hear”] eyes gleam.” Nonbinary pronouns, the guide explains, “are often used by trans, genderqueer, and gender non-conforming people.”

In addition to the guides on bias-free language and gender pronouns, the university also offers faculty training to combat microaggressions. The training, the university says, “explores the danger of microaggressions and the cumulating effects on those being discriminated against.”

Inviting “inclusive excellence” is apparently not all that abandoning the use of the word “American” will do for the university. In the university’s words, “Each step of inclusion moves us closer to a full democracy.”

The university defines “inclusive language” as “communication that does not stereotype or demean people based on personal characteristics.” The university website encourages readers to understand that the guide “is not a means to censor but rather to create dialogues of inclusion where all of us feel comfortable and welcomed.”


We have a winner!

. . . for FOTM’s 102nd Caption Contest!

This was a great contest, with many clever submissions!

FOTM writers voted, each for what he/she considered to be the best (#1) and second-best (#2) captions. Each #1 vote is worth 3 points; each #2 vote is worth 2 points.

And the winner of FOTM’s 102nd Caption Contest, with two #1 votes and one #2 vote, totaling 8 points is . . .

MomOfIV! Snoopy dance

Here’s her winning caption:

car with dolls

chulai1968 is in 2nd place, with two #1 votes, totaling 6 points. Here’s his caption:

Planned Parenthood float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade…. just add ketchup.

LAH and Jim are both in 3rd place, each with one #1 vote and 3 points. Here are their respective captions:

You can’t shift gears if you are stuck on stupid.

yeah. well, parts is parts….all I do is deliver ’em……….

CalGirl, Glenn47, Holly Smith, Lola and lou damico are all in 4th place, each with one #2 vote and 2 points. Here are their respective captions:

Obama on border security: What human smuggling?

Illegals will change themselves into anything to get over that border. No one will notice.

Found! 561 of Obama’s electronic voters.

Planned Parenthood now offers mobile services.

All dolled up and no place to go.

Well done, everyone!

Congratulations, MomOfIV!

Here’s your fancy-schmancy Award Certificate of Great Excellence, all ready for framing! LOL

StrawberrydancingbananaCarrotChilliMuffinPurpleBanana PineappledancingbananaCarrotChilliMuffinPineappleStrawberry

award certificate1

For all the other caption submissions, go here.

Be here tomorrow for our next very exciting caption contest!

Seen any good pics that you think would be great for our Caption Contest? Email them to us! :D


Detroit goes to the devil

Detroit is the most populous city in Michigan — the Detroit metropolitan region holds roughly one-half of the state’s population. According to the 2010 census, 82.7% of Detroit’s population are Black.

With a murder rate of 43.4 per 100,000 in 2014, Detroit has the highest murder rate of any U.S. city, accounting for nearly two-thirds of all murders in the state of Michigan in 2011.

On July 18, 2013, the city filed for bankruptcy — the largest municipal bankruptcy case in U.S. history. Less than 5 months later on Dec. 3, 2013, citing Detroit’s $18.5 billion debt, Judge Steven W. Rhodes of the Bankruptcy Court for the Eastern District of Michigan declared the city to be bankrupt.

One sign of Detroit’s decrepitude are the 80,000 decaying vacant buildings that the bankrupt city can’t afford to tear down. The larger buildings can cost more than $10,000 each to demolish.

As if the city doesn’t have enough problems already, on July 25, 2015, Detroit welcomed the installation of a 9 ft. statue of the devil.

Detroit satan statue

As reported by ABC News, the “largest public satanic ceremony in history” took place Saturday in Detroit when the Boston-based Satanic Temple organization unveiled a nearly 9-foot tall bronze statue of a goat-headed Baphomet in a private ceremony attended by 600 ticket holders.

Tickets for the event were $25 each and the location was revealed only to ticket-holders.

The event served “as a call-to-arms from which we’ll kick off our largest fight to date in the name of individual rights to free exercise against self-serving theocrats,” according to the invitation.

satanists eagerly awaiting the unveiling of baphomet, Detroit, July 25, 2015

Satanists waiting for unveiling of Baphomet statue, Detroit, July 25, 2015

The statue was originally planned to sit at the Oklahoma state capitol, but the state’s supreme court banned all religious displays there, including the Ten Commandments. The statue was created through $28,180 fund-raised by 1,041 people on last year.

Detroit has the largest and oldest chapter of the Satanic Temple. 

Satanist Jex Backmore

Satanist Jex Backmore

Lucien Greaves, co-founder of the national Satanic Temple organization, said the Detroit chapter has more than 200 registered members. Graves credits the Detroit chapter’s founder Jex Blackmore with the growth of the chapter since it was established there in August 2014.

Greaves said there are 20 Satanic Temple chapters across the country with about 20,000 members as a whole.

The Satanic Temple now plans to erect a Baphomet statue outside Arkansas’ statehouse, where a Ten Commandments monument also is planned.

Meanwhile, on the same day of the satanic unveiling, several hundred Christians protested by attending a Mass at Detroit’s St. Joseph Catholic Church. (AP)

Photo by Todd McInturf/Detroit News

Photo by Todd McInturf/Detroit News

Now I know why Detroit is bankrupt and will remain in dire straits . . . .

St. Michael the Archangel, help us!

St. Michael end days