Satanist falls on her ass, so let’s have another Caption Contest!

This is the 94th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic:

Madonna falls at BRIT award 2015

About the pic: On Feb. 25, 2015, while performing at the Brit Awards, the British equivalent of the satanic Grammy Awards, surrounded by demonic horned and masked male dancers, 56-year-old Madonna Louise Ciccone fell on her ass. She claimed she sustained “a little bit of whiplash” and smacked the back of her head, but that didn’t stop her from wearing sky-high heels the next day for her interview at a UK TV talk show. (See also Madonna’s satanic performance at the 2012 Super Bowl half-time show: “Super Bowl Satanism“)

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box), not via email or on Facebook.
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM! :D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

A preview of her fall to Hell.

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, March 10, 2015.

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, click here.

Seen any pics that you think will make good foil for our caption contests? Send it to us at:

fellowshipminds@gmail.com

~Éowyn

All-women’s school lets students choose between 10 different pronouns

So many choices...

So many choices…

 

Campus Reform: Scripps College students will now be able to choose between 10 different pronouns in their class portal so professors may address them based on their preferred pronoun.

The school notified the students of the change via a campus-wide email in the middle of February explaining the decision and the new options for gender identity that will be provided for both student and professors.

“This feature has been implemented in response to student recommendations and in consultation with many constituents in the Scripps community,” the email obtained by Campus Reform said. “The pronoun portal feature gives students an opportunity to inform faculty of a pronoun that most closely matches their gendered and lived experiences at Scripps. It has been made available for students and faculty in an effort to build an inclusive environment.”

The new gender identification page in the student portal will allow students to choose from the following pronouns: e/ey, em, eir/eirs, eirself/emse; he, him, his, himself; hu, hum, hus, humself; “just my name please;” none; per, per, per/pers, perself; she, her, hers, herself; they, them, their/theirs, themse; ze, hir, hir/hirs, hirself; and ze, zir, zir/zirs, zirself.

The email also included a link to a pronoun guide by Pomona College also in Claremont, Calif., to explain some of the lesser-known pronouns.

Rachel Neuberg, a sophomore at Scripps, told The Student Life, a weekly student publication encompassing the Claremont Colleges, that she believed the change is a necessary step for the college to make in creating a safer environment for students.

“One’s gender identity should not be something that causes them anxiety in their everyday lives,” Neuberg said. “I hope that Scripps will continue to create a safe and comfortable place for its students, and that other colleges will take note so we can all work together to stop institutionalized violence.”

This change in policy comes after Scripps College, an all-women’s school, started admitting men who identify as women to the college in December. Male pronouns are included in the list of preferred pronouns students may choose from.

Scripps is a liberal arts institution located in Claremont, Calif.

Emse (formerly DCG)

Sex offender who illegally crossed border from Canada arrested for burglary, rape

Repeat, violent sex offender Stanley

Repeat, violent sex offender Stanley

MyNorthwest.com: A Level III registered sex offender who illegally crossed the border from Canada two years ago has been arrested for investigation of burglary and rape.

Michael Stanley, 49, went in through the window and confronted a 69-year-old woman in her Skyway home located in the 8400 block of S 115 St Friday morning, according to the King County Sheriff’s Office. Police said no weapons were used, but the woman sustained minor injuries.

The sheriff’s office said Stanley, who is homeless, has been in compliance with Level III requirements since registering as a sex offender in Nov. 2013. He’s required to check in weekly and must provide an accurate account of where he stays every night.

He’ll make a first court appearance at the Regional Justice Center on Monday.

Stanley, a U.S. citizen, cut off his monitoring ankle bracelet in Canada and crossed unchallenged in to the U.S. in 2013. A warrant was issued, but Canada chose not to extradite Stanley.

In Oct. 2013, the CBC reported Stanley has a history of taking children from playgrounds, and was sentenced for luring two mentally-impaired boys to an apartment in 2006, and in the 1980s he spent time in prison for sexually assaulting an 82-year-old wheelchair bound woman.

From October 2013:

“A violent, high-risk sex offender that escaped from Canada has registered as a sex offender in King County. But other than keeping an eye on him, police say there’s not much else they can do.

“It’s unfortunate that he ended up here, but we will do everything we can in our power to ensure that he stays in line with his registration,” Renee Witt, with the Seattle Police Department, tells KIRO Radio’s Dori Monson.

Stanley fled Canada after cutting off his electronic-monitoring bracelet. U.S. officials allowed him to cross the border after determining he was an American citizen and not the subject of an extraditable arrest warrant. He then made his way to Seattle.

“We’re doing everything to ensure that he is closely monitored and to make sure that he doesn’t reoffend here in our city,” says Witt. “Of course, if anyone should see him out doing anything that may fall outside of those guidelines, they’re asked to call 911.”

Yeah, how did that “closely monitoring” situation work for the 69-year-old victim?

messed up

DCG

 

15 signs of cancer men shouldn’t ignore

One of the best ways to fight cancer is to catch it in the early stages, when it’s more treatable. The problem is that the warning signs for many kinds of cancer can seem pretty mild and so we ignore them.

Below are 15 signs and symptoms of cancer to which men especially should pay attention. Some are linked more strongly to cancer than others. If you have one or more of the following symptoms, you should have a good talk with your doctor.

1. Problems When You Pee

Many men have some problems with urinating as they get older, e.g.:

  • A need to pee more often, especially at night
  • Dribbling, leaking, or an urgent need to go
  • Trouble starting to pee, or a weak stream

prostate cancer

An enlarged prostate gland usually causes these symptoms, but so can prostate cancer. See your doctor for an exam to look for an enlarged prostate and/or a PSA blood test.

2. Changes in Your Testicles

“If you notice a lump, heaviness, or any other change in your testicle, never delay having it looked at,” says Herbert Lepor, MD, urology chairman at New York University Langone Medical Center. “Unlike prostate cancer, which grows slowly, testicular cancer can take off overnight.” Your doctor will look for any problems with a physical exam, blood tests, and an ultrasound of your scrotum.

3. Blood in Your Pee or Stool

These can be among the first signs of cancer of the bladder, kidneys, or colon. Colon cancer is the second leading cause of death from cancer in America. Although you’re more likely to have a problem that’s not cancer, like hemorrhoids or a urinary infection, it’s a good idea to see your doctor for any bleeding that’s not normal, even if you don’t have other symptoms.

colon cancer

4. Skin Changes

When you notice a change in the size, shape, or color of a mole or other spot on your skin, see your doctor as soon as you can. Spots that are new or look different are top signs of skin cancer. You’ll need an exam and perhaps a biopsy, which means doctors remove a small piece of tissue for testing. With skin cancer, you don’t want to wait, says Marleen Meyers, MD, an oncologist at NYU Perlmutter Cancer Center.

5. Changes in Lymph Nodes

Lymph nodes are small bean-shaped glands found in your neck, armpits, and other places. When swollen, that’s often a signal that something’s going on in your body. Usually, they mean your immune system is fighting a sore throat or cold, but certain cancers also can make them change. Have your doctor check any swelling that doesn’t get better in 2 to 4 weeks.

6. Trouble Swallowing

Some people have trouble swallowing from time to time. But if your problems don’t go away and you’re also losing weight or vomiting, see your doctor to get checked for throat or stomach cancer, beginning with a throat exam and barium X-ray. During a barium test, you drink a special liquid that makes your throat stand out on the X-ray.

7. Heartburn

Most cases of heartburn can be ameliorated with changes to your diet, drinking habits, and stress levels. But if heartburn doesn’t go away or gets worse, it can signify stomach or throat cancer.

8. Mouth Changes

If you smoke or chew tobacco, you have a higher risk of mouth or oral cancer. Keep an eye out for white or red patches inside your mouth or on your lips. That’s another reason to have regular dental visits because the first sign of many diseases appears in your mouth.

mouth cancer

9. Weight Loss Without Trying

Pants fitting a little looser? If you haven’t changed your diet or exercise habits, it could mean that stress or a thyroid problem is taking a toll. But losing 10 pounds or more without trying isn’t normal. Although most unintended weight loss is not cancer, it’s one of the signs of cancer of the pancreas, stomach, or lungs. Your doctor can find out more with blood tests and tools that make detailed pictures of the inside of your body, like a CT or PET scan.

10. Fever

A fever is usually not a bad thing — it means your body is fighting an infection. But one that won’t go away and doesn’t have an explanation could signal leukemia or another blood cancer. Your doctor should take your medical history and give you a physical exam to check on the cause.

11. Breast Changes

Since breast cancer is uncommon in men, accounting only for 1% of all  breast cancers, men tend to ignore breast lumps. If you find a lump, don’t take any chances. Tell your doctor and have it checked.

12. Fatigue

Many types of cancer cause a bone-deep tiredness that never gets better, no matter how much rest you get. It’s different from the exhaustion you feel after a hectic week or a lot of activity. If fatigue is affecting your daily life, talk to your doctor. She can help you find the cause and let you know if there are ways to treat it.

13. Cough

In nonsmokers, a nagging cough is almost never cancer. Most go away after 3 to 4 weeks. If yours doesn’t, and you’re short of breath or cough up blood, don’t delay a visit to your doctor, especially if you smoke. A cough is the most common sign of lung cancer. Your doctor can test mucus from your lungs to see if you have an infection, and give you a chest X-ray to check.

lungs

14. Pain

Cancer doesn’t cause most aches and pains, but if you’re hurting for more than a month, don’t just grin and bear it. Ongoing pain can be a signal of many types of cancer, especially those that have spread.

15. Belly Pain and Depression

It’s rare, but depression along with stomach pain can be a sign of cancer of the pancreas. Should you worry? Not unless this cancer runs in your family, then you need to see your doctor.

Source: WebMD

See also:

~Éowyn

Homan Square protesters demand answers over Chicago police ‘black site’

Crowd gathers outside facility at centre of claims of unconstitutional abuse
Anonymous and Black Lives Matter among groups represented

Homan Square protesters demand Chicago police ‘black site’ be shut down. Produced by Philipp Batta, Source: Guardian US

More than 100 activists and community leaders rallied in Chicago on Saturday to call for official investigations into and even a shutdown of Homan Square, the police facility at the centre of allegations over unconstitutional abuse and a growing protest movement known as #Gitmo2Chicago.

Less than a week after a guardian uncovered detailed accounts from Chicago citizens who said they were abused and detained without access to legal counsel or basic rights, demonstrators from groups including the hacktivist collective Anonymous and the Black Lives Matter movement chanted “freedom first” and pushed for open access to the secretive police warehouse.

The diverse crowd pressed most directly for answers from Rahm Emanuel, the Chicago mayor who is facing a runoff election in an extended campaign in which police reform has featured prominently.

“Rahm Emanuel says, ‘Trust us, we are doing the right thing,’” said organizer Andy Thayer of the Gay Liberation Network, referring to the mayor’s brief comments about the allegations on Thursday night. “But I’m sorry, Mr Mayor, you have lied to us about enough other things that we are not going to take your word for it that things are just hunky dory in the building behind us. We demand that you shut down this facility.”

Emanuel, who was engaged in a campaign initiative to meet 50,000 voters in a single day, did not address Homan Square on Saturday, as multiple protesters continued to compare it to a CIA “black site”.

pic1

Protesters congregate outside Homan Square.Photograph: Chandler West/the Guardian

This week, multiple witnesses and attorneys detailed to the Guardian claims of police holding people for long periods inside the Homan Square facilty without access to attorneys or their families. Many reported shackling and physical abuse.

Travis McDermott, one of the other lead organizers of Saturday’s protest, spoke about the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA), which allows for the military detention of persons the government suspects of involvement with terrorism. McDermott said the NDAA was the primary reason sites like Homan Square remained in operation.

“The main issue,” he said, “is that when individuals are empowered by a contract” – the NDAA – “they have no threat of accountability, they can’t be expected to exercise self-restraint. They can deny and then it’s a battle of confidence between the people who have witnessed it and those protecting it.”

McDermott said he wanted real answers to the allegations about Homan Square, not quick dismissals.

“Our object is to get hard evidence,” he said, “because the burden of proof now [rests] on the Chicago police department.”

Brian Jacob Church speaks to the Guardian.

Brian Jacob Church, the first arrestee to come forward to the Guardian regarding his time inside Homan Square, could not attend the protest but requested McDermott read a statement on his behalf. One of the so called “Nato Three” who travelled to the city to protest a 2012 Nato summit, Church says he was arrested and held for 17 hours at Homan Square in 2012, before being charged and convicted and spending two and a half years in prison.

“Today you are standing here because basic humanity has been disregarded in the grossest fashion,” McDermott read. “We hear about things like this happening in other countries … but we never expect them to hit so close to home.”

Vetress Boyce, a candidate for alderman in Chicago’s 24th ward, said communities in the city had long been aware of the threat of violent treatment by police.

She said she stood “wholeheartedly” with protesters and supported a public investigation into what she called “torture” at Homan Square. “We hear a lot of what goes on in our neighborhood and in some cases we have stopped marching, we have stopped fighting for those that matter,” she said.

Reverend Gregg Greer, of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, called on more people who had spent time inside the facility to come forward. “If the Chicago police department hasn’t gotten anything to hide,” he said, “then open up the doors!”

The Chicago police have denied multiple requests for comment since the Guardian began reporting on Homan Square. In a statement issued to multiple media outlets on Tuesday, the department said it “abides by all laws, rules and guidelines pertaining to any interviews of suspects or witnesses, at Homan Square or any other CPD facility”. Without saying when records or attorney meetings took place, the police said: “If lawyers have a client detained at Homan Square, just like any other facility, they are allowed to speak to and visit them.”

On Saturday, protesters called for a public inspection of Homan Square. They also called for all people booked by Chicago police to be given access to a phone and a lawyer; for an opportunity for the public to ask questions pertaining to Homan Square; and for informational posters to be posted in Chicago police facilities informing people of their rights and including contact details for legal providers.

pic2

 

An officer appears to film protesters from a fire escape at Homan Square.Photograph: Chandler West/the Guardian

“I’m hoping you will be back again,” Greer said. “And next week, tomorrow, as long as it takes, we will shut this down if we have to. Because what do we need? We need freedom first.”

As the crowd began chanting Greer’s last phrase one police officer, who had seemed to be holding back laughter, shook his head and cracked a smile.

The crowd then dispersed. Many planned to return on Sunday, ahead of a planned Monday demonstration closer to Emanuel’s office, in an ongoing effort to seek reparations for longtime Chicago police abuse. As Anonmyous continued to push the Homan Square allegations, protests were planned around the country throughout the week.

One really has to wonder just how many of these holding cells are all over the country.


We have a winner!

. . . for FOTM’s 93rd Caption Contest!

The FOTM writers each did our duty and voted for what we each considered to be the #1 and #2 captions. Each #1 vote is worth 3 points; every #2 vote is worth 2 points.

Although there were many right-on-target and funny comments, FOTM writers had it easy this time because there’s a clear winner in this contest.

And the winner of the 93rd world-famous FOTM Caption Contest, with five #1 votes and two #2 votes, totaling 19 points, is . . . .

Lola! Snoopy dance

Here’s her winning caption:

Reverends from Hell

jim is our 2nd place runner-up, with one #1 vote and two #2 votes, totaling 7 points. Here’s his caption:

And the funny thing is…people still believe us and give us money.

donkeedonk is in 3rd place, with one #1 vote and one #2 vote, totaling 5 points. Here’s his caption:

pied pimp pipers of Obamalin

Edward Keiser is in 4th place, with one #1 vote, totaling 3 points. Here’s his caption:

Quick Jesse put your game face on there are white guilt suffers to fleece.

a Texas libertarian, bumrush77cynkading, and tnrick are all in 5th place, each with 1#2 vote and 2 points. Here are their respective captions:

“That’s what I love about these poor people, man. I get richer and their income stays the same.”

Jus-tice brothers Dumb & Dummy!

Sharpton: “If you say white people are racist enough times they will throw money at you and give you your own show on MSNBC”
Jackson: “The hell you say”

“Just mix my Ripple with some Champagne, I call’s it Champipple …”

Well done, everyone!

Congratulations, Lola!

Here is your fancy-schmancy Award Certificate of Great Excellence, all ready for framing! LOL

StrawberrydancingbananaCarrotChilliMuffinPurpleBanana PineappledancingbananaCarrotChilliMuffinPineappleStrawberry

award certificate1

For all the other caption submissions, go here.

Be here tomorrow for our next very exciting Caption Contest!

Seen any good pics that you think would be great for our Caption Contest? Email them to us! :D

fellowshipminds@gmail.com

~Éowyn

Monday Funny! Instant karma for car thief

A car thief in Ireland first tried to break into a car with small rocks. After two failed attempts, the thief switched to a brick when, lo and behold, the brick bounced back, hitting him in the head and knocking him to the ground.

Gerry Brady, the owner of the car and of a nearby pub, said that he and his girlfriend found the thief lying on the street with a busted face. They thought that the man had been mugged, so they tried to help him. But the thief repaid their kindness with deception and viciousness. According to Brady:

“He pulled himself up and said he wanted €50 [$56] for a taxi. I said ‘Not a chance, I’ve to pay for a new window mate’, that’s when he leaned in and told me he’d burn me out of the pub. ‘I see you, I know you. I’ll burn you out. I’ll tell the gardas [police] you beat me up. I’ll go to my solicitor.’”

Brady quickly called the police. When the police picked the thief up, he claimed that Gerry beat him up. Fortunately, a surveillance video cam had captured the thief in the act.

Gerry said, ““You should have heard the garda laughing when they saw the video. They were in stitches.” (The Irish Independent)

~Éowyn